For those of you looking for biological parents or adopted children?

cantstopLinnyG

I applaud you for wanting to find her. I recently was reunited with my siblings, and it is amazing.

I have to agree with the other posters, though- you MUST give her time to deal with this. I do not know how you found out, but I know it was incredibly difficult for my first Mom to tell my siblings about me. I was her "deepest, darkest secret", and to tell her other kids was difficult.

She needs space....you may want to let her know about some of the search sites people have posted, and other links which could help her. If you do this without her knowledge, or her permission, it could be very damaging to her, and the daughter she relinquished.

I will say, though, that when your MIL finds her, she will be thrilled that all of you want to know her.

bananarama

adoption.com is a registry people use. I found my birth mom there. The only thing is the daughter would have to have posted her info on there. There are other registries too but im not sure the name i think ISSR and there should be a registry for the state she was adopted in. You should really respect the fact that she is not ready. and also understand the daughter might not want to be found.

Carol c

I just want to say that I agree with the others - this is her decision. It's wonderful that you want to be so supportive.

You might make a couple of recommendations about books that can help her understand her experience and feelings a little better. One great one is "The Girls Who Went Away" by Ann Fessler. There's also "The Other Mother" by Carole Schaefer.

gypsywinter

As you are the daughter-in-law and not a blood relative of the missing daughter..I would suggest that you let your husband and his mother talk about this. No one should be pushed into reunion...not the mother nor the adoptee. Your MIL needs time to sort this out for herself. Should your husband want to search for his sister...then that should be his decision, and only his decision. JMO!
Has your husband and mother discussed the issue of search...just the 2 of them?

Avant-Garde â˜…

This is tough. I am an adopted child - adult now 30 myself. I have considered looking for my birth mother but am afraid to interfere with her life. I know that sounds strange, but I respect that there was probably a good reason that she gave me up and I don't know what her life is like today. But I wouldn't push the issue...just wait until she is ready. It's her choice.

Olivia J

I think you should respect that she isn't ready for this. It's a huge decision she needs to make for herself.

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