Forgein adoption vs. US adoption?

Jennifer L

Having adopted internationally, I can say that there are unique challenges posed to it. Culture, language (at times) and often the ethnic differences. I can say that of the three, only one of my children mention the ethnic differences (which would have been a factor if we adopted transracially within the country). We make a concerted effort to keep our children connected with immigrants to the US from their birth country, which have taught my children more about their traditional culture than they knew from before! I think with some effort and understanding on the part of the adoptive parents, these issues can and are overcome.

There are very few infants available in international adoption, but unfortunately, they get the most attention. Most children available for adoption are school age, with sibling groups being very common. We adopted a brother-sister school age sibling group.

Some people argue that international adoption strips a child of his/her culture. I'd be willing to bet that those people have never been starving, or shot at, or had to worry about being kidnapped, brainwashed and pressed into service as a child soldier. Culture is important, but I wouldn't be too far in saying that food, shelter and safety are more important. Cultural needs can be addresed outside the country of birth. Food, shelter and safety, often cannot be. Look at Maslow's hierarchy of Needs, if the basic human needs are not met, a person cannot achieve "self actualization".

A few words about children in orphanages. Different countries have different policies, but as a general rule, the children in orphanages have already been relinquished by their families. If they are not adopted, they remain in orphanages until they "age out" then are released onto the streets with little or no preparation for life. They are relinquished for a variety of reasons, extreme poverty (the kind of which that has never been seen in this country) is only one of the reason. Famine and disease are others. Safety is another, for many adoptees come from countries where civil war atrocities are enough to give you nightmares.

Some countries do have sponsership programs available, but these often have something of a social system in place in order to support impoverished children or orphans. If there is no "system" then there is no ability to support children and families.

It's a well-meaning, but naive Western sentiment that if we just give money, families can stay together, but it's exactly that:a well-meaning sentiment. If the stability and the infastructure isn't there, throwing money isn't going to work. And it does nothing to help children already relinquished or orphaned.

Speaking to the process now, there is huge variation between programs. Plus, third world governments do not function with the efficiency and the redundant systems built in, that exist in the US or other 'first world countries." Yes, other nations bureaucracy is slower and much less efficient than ours (as difficult as that is to believe.). If a letter must be signed by a government minister and that person is on vacation, that letter will sit until the minister returns. There is nobody else who can or will sign it in that person's absence.

So, while the process can have unforseen delays, it is pretty structured and you know what to expect.

I'm getting long-winded here, but it's also important to make sure that you are working with a licensed, reputable agency. Child trafficking, unethical practices, soliciting adoptions and paying women to have babies DO happen in international adoption. It's up to the adoptive parents to make sure they and their children aren't victimized by this. With more education and attention, it's getting harder for falsified documents to get past the US consulates, who are under tremendous scrutiny to ensure that the adoptions are legal and ethical.

Anyway, that's enough for now. Might add more later. If you have specific questions, feel free to email me from my profile.

Kelly

I am an adopted adult now, who was adopted as a child in the US in a closed adoption and I think that was the best thing for me and everyone involved. I am planning on adopting internationally because there are so many children out there who need a home, and I dont belive in or support the open adoption system being pushed in the US. Or the large "baby" agencys who spend a horrendous amount of money on advertising and where for a mere 30k if chosen you can buy the rights to raise a child for someone else while keeping them updated with access to their... or is it your child? wait a min....

I don think open adoption support building familys or family values, (comitment, resposiblity etc) which is why I will adopt internationally. The downside of both US and International, is it is expensive.

kitana05chazz07

My cousin and his wife adopted foreign. They say it was the greatest choice they have ever made. Everyone says that USA the land of opportunities! Why not share that with a wonderful kid.

Kathrine

I say go for US...Honestly I mean you live here why not help the children in your country...Just my opinion

don1862

The big benefit of foreign adoption is that you will not have birth parents changing their minds and comming back to sue you three years later. Also foreign adoptions are easier to get. There are often waiting lists for American kids, but China has millions of kids (mostly girls) waiting in orphanages. On the other hand American adoptions are usually a lot less costly. Some foreign adoptions can have huge fees. Most foreign adoptions will be children from another race which is fine for me, but may be an issue for some people. You can adopt American children faster if you are willing to adopt older children, disabled children or children from a minority race. I think all of those things are good to do, and those children need adoptive parents, but you and your family have to decide whether you can do that.

Gaia Raain

Often, children in foreign orphanages are not placed there because they need new families; they are placed there because their family doesn't have the money to take care of them. Foreign adoption is rife with corruption and baby selling. Not to mention, when you adopt a child from a foreign country, they have to assimilate to an entirely new country, culture, new food, and chances are, they're not going to look like you (which might be fine for you, but not the child). They will have limited to no chance of finding their biological family, which is essential to the sense of self (open adoptions are much better, and many foreign countries don't allow open adoptions - and even if they are open, how often can the child SEE his family?).

Domestic infant adoption isn't much better. It is also rife with corruption, mothers are being coerced (subtly, and openly; society tells them that if they're single and poor, they don't deserve to have a baby, and should give "it" to a more deserving family, and adoption agencies tell them that the AP's have been waiting so very very long for "their" baby, and the mom can't change her mind NOW, after these nice people have paid all her bills!), and often, domestic infant adoption is not necessary (with a little help, most of these mom's could parent their children).

However, there is a third option, which I also pointed out in your other question. There are over 100,000 children in foster care waiting for families. These children NEED new families; there really isn't another option for them but adoption. They won't have to assimilate to a whole new culture or language; and you can feel comfortable knowing that you didn't take ANY part in tearing apart a family unnecessarily. Plus, in most states, adopting through foster care is free!

kathy n

I adopted three children, 2 from Korea and one from India. I went with foreign adoption because it was quicker...3 mo-1 year. Americans are less likely to put their children up for adoption because they always think their situation will change and they can maybe get them back. And they will take you to court for it. Whereas in a foreign adoption you don't have to worry about the birth parent coming back into the picture. They truly want their child to have a better life.

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