Giving up my child for a better life...for both of us.?

Katie Mack

this is not a bad thing...this is an act of pure love...plain and simple...
I was adopted over 60 years ago...my birth mother died of fever when I was 4 days old..my birth father was young, under educated, and was completely unable to care for a baby. My birth father gave me up because he loved me...wanted more for me, and knew that he alone could not provide what I needed in life...I've known him all my life, and I love him for the life he gave me and the family he chose for me
My birth mothers cousins adopted me, and it was the best thing that could have happened to me, I had a family connection, aunts and uncles who looked like me (we have the same family nose!) and shared some of the same interests...I knew who I was and where I belonged...
your not acting selfish or selling your child, your choosing a better life for both of you

punxy_girl

This is solely your choice and frankly there is no perfect black and white fariy tale answer. You need to weigh all the pros and cons of all the sides and think what is best for you and your child. You have time to decide. Since it is family members, I would hope they would consider an open adoption if this is the road you choose to take. From the research I've done that seems to be the best choice for everyone involved. Good luck sweetie.

LaraSue

Don't listen to them! You have searched your heart and feel that you are doing the best thing for your child. I would hope that your aunt and uncle would be willing to have an open relationship with you if you choose it.
I would also recommend that you seek counseling after you place the baby. Even if you feel that you are doing the right thing, you are going to grieve, and that's ok. Get some counseling.
You may change your mind about choosing adoption after you give birth(once you see and hold the baby), and that's ok too. There are a lot of resources available if you choose to parent.
No matter what you choose, don't let anyone make you feel guilty for choosing it!

Tawn

I think you are a wonderful person for knowing that this will make for a better life for you and your baby. It is also great that the baby is staying in your family. You willl still be able to see him grow and be part of his life.
Good for people like you that decide to make a better choice for their babies and aren't selfish.
Good luck in college and I wish the best for you and the baby!

Lola

This is why you have to stop listening to other people about this issue!

You are doing the right thing. If you know your aunt and uncle will be good parents, and they have seemed to help you a lot and care about you, why are you worried? At least you know the home your child will go to and you know your own situation.

It's only God's right to judge and he has put you into this situation because he knew you would be able to handle it and I think you are handling it beautifully. Good luck to you.

Joy M

I think you are doing a really sad thing, and no I do not think it will be good for your child, but very harmful.

I raised my son who I had at 18 and finished college and made a better life for both of us...

Krystal G

I think you are a great person for caring this much. I would do the right thing and let your aunt and uncle adopt the baby. They way you will still have contact with your baby and you will know you baby is in a good home. I think it is really brave of you.

a healing adoptee

I'm glad that your Aunt and Uncle will be open about the adoption to your son. It helps sometimes when all parties involved are honest. Can you still have contact with your son? I'm not aganist adoption, I want some reforms so that all involved can help the child have a happy home enviroment. I'm sure you did not make this decsion on a whim, you took some thought to it. If you feel deep down this was the right decsion then, no one should tell you otherwise. I use to hate people like you who gave up their babies. But after meeting my birthmother a couple of years ago before she died, i realized it was a tough decsion. I still in the process of forgiving her and stop hating her for the decsion she made. I have to look at the fact that the decsion she made enable me to have very loving adoptive parents. So in closing i totally respect your decsion and wish you the best! I hope you can have a relationship with your son!

the_court_jezzter

it's not a bad thing. in fact, i admire you for it. you are doing what is best for the child, and that's all that matters.

Holy Macaroni!

No part of this sounds like a bad idea to me, especially because your family is the one taking in the child. I say congratulations to them and you for making a wise decision. Go to school, become something, and be there for your child... even if not as a mother, but as someone who really cares about them and will be there to support them.

Madison

Hun, don't listen to all of the people who are being rude to you. You realized you couldn't give the child a stable (financially) living environment so you made a choice to find your child a loving home- that is you being responsible. Your aunt and uncle are obviously fit parents and can provide your child the best life so go with your decision and don't listen to the people who criticise you for trying to do the right thing. It's great that a family member is adopting the child because that way you can still be involved in his/her life.

#3ontheway!

It isn't a bad thing at all. If you feel that you cannot care for your baby then adoption with someone you know will care for the baby and give the baby a good life is a great option. Of course there will be hard times and hard things that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. But, those things will never be as bad as dealing with an abortion that you didn't really want to have in the first place. I think it is great that you are looking out for the best interest of your child and that you didn't get an abortion. And, if you decide to keep the baby, there are tons of programs to help mothers just like you. Good luck in whatever you choose.

wannabhppy

It sounds like you are doing a very mature and responsible thing. I wouldn't listen to what other people are saying although I know that can be hard sometimes. As long as you are happy and comfortable with your choice that is all that matters.

Stacie S

You are a strong, brave woman to be able to do this for your son. How lucky you are that your Aunt&Uncle that sound like wonderful people are not only willing to help you get out of an abusive situation but also are willing to adopt your son and keep you involved in his life...You are making the right decision. Good luck!
As for you jpoveda2000 - the Bible says judge not lest ye be judged. Who are you to tell her that she is going to hell? Let those without sin cast the first stone

Fotomama

I fully applaud what you are doing. You are very brave and very mature to make a decision like this. Not only will your child have a financially more sound family, but he (she?) will also benefit from having a two-parent home, with a daddy who loves him and a mommy who loves him too. I'm torn on open/closed adoptions. Mostly I think that they are good. If he knows that you made the choice to better his life, he will respect you much more. Good for you and all the best!

lees306

Don't listen to anyone else...according to them, there is NOTHING you will be able to do, that they will ever deem as ok. It is your life and you are making the best possible decision for you!

Danni

I think that is was a very hard and mature decision and I applaud you for your courage. You knew what you would be facing and you did what was best for your child. I think that it is a great situation and you can still be apart of the child's life in some form and that makes it even better. I wish other young girls would be able to choose this option. I think the lives of some girls would be so much better and most importantly the children they have would have a better chance for a better life. I just hope you learned your lesson and not let it happen again until you're prepared.

Lisa

I think this sounds like the perfect solution to a very hard problem
the baby will be with people who love it and can care for it fully
it will still be in its family and you will be able to see it often
I am sorry you have had to go through all this but you can see it as something good soming out of a bad situation
you are giving the gift of life to a loved one who couldnt concieve
what you are doing is not bad in anyway, you seem to have considered all the options and have both your best interests at heart
good luck, be strong xx

Mom

I don't know who is telling you you are doing a bad thing, you should be congratulated. You are doing such an unselfish thing for your child. Best of luck to you!!

mustang3261

Listen to your heart. You know what you are doing is right. Don't worry about what idiots are saying. And that is what they are. Because you are thinking of your child. I mean you could had aborted it. Which is murder. Of even given him to someone you dont even know. Then worry all of your life is he ok? No you are doing what is best.

redpeach_mi

you are definitely doing the right thing for your child. if you know that you cannot give your child the type of life that you want for it, then it's the right choice. do not listen to everyone who says that you are going to ruin the baby's life and that you are a horrible person for doing this. it takes a stronger person to give your child up than it does to keep it. and it's not like your baby is going to strangers. your child is going to family members, so you will still be able to see the child. good luck to you.

Jesusa

Honestly, I believe you have made the right decision.
Your child will remain in the family and that is wonderful.
I am, however, concerned about your relationship with
a violent, abusive man. I know you are no longer with him.
I worry because you may have low esteem and continue
being attracted to abusers. If a man hit me once there
would be no second chance for him.

angelwater.xx

i think that is a great solution for you and if you think it will give your child a better life then thats the way it should be just make sure that you aunt and uncle tell him that you are his mum before he gets old and he can understand better. cuz
everything might go pear shaped it might of been the best
way for him and you mabey you might want another child with the right man and your aunt and uncle might give him back if your ready? just live your life the best way as possible but always make sure you true son is always there! ty

[iris]â™¥

Don't listen to what ignorant people have to say. They are only looking at the fact that you are giving up your baby, and overlooking those reasons. As you've already said, you're only doing this because you know you are currently incapable of providing a good life for this child. You are a wonderful, loving person because you are thinking about the well-being of your child. A lot of young parents are lacking in that department. They are selfish and in denial. You, on the other hand, are strong, determined, and amazing for coming face to face with what you KNOW you have to do for that baby. Congratulations to you and God Bless You. <3

Amie M

Hello sweetie, first of all you are doing the right thing. We adopted our daughter from my necie. We had been tring to have kids and shw knew that we were and she decied that this was the best option for the baby. She couldnt take care of her and she already has another child that she didnt take care of. So, if you want to allow them to adopt this baby then do it. You arent selling your baby. You are thinking of him or her and allowing him or her to have a great home. Following your heart and not what others say:) Keeping you in prayers.

Michael

http://www.hallmarkchannel.com/publish/consumer/home/shows/adoption.html

momrfg2003

I think it is the most wonderful thing you can do for your baby and don't let anyone tell you any differently. I think it takes an incredible amount of strength and that abortion is not the answer that people think it is.

How awesome that you have an open adoption with your aunt and uncle. It is not a bad thing at all that you are doing and you should be commended for giving your child a chance at life.

Mia C

Good for you!!!. You gave your son a better life and yourself a chance!!!! I am 29 years old. I never had any experience with adaption, until i met my Husband. My husband was adapted to a great family. It was a closed adaption, so he has no idea about is birth family. (which i don't agree with) I think its great your son will have knowledge of you. I was in abusive relationships too when i was in my early and middle 20's. I Thank GOD everyday that my husband's birth mother gave him up for adaption (even though we dont know who she is) He is the most wonderful and generous man i have ever met.
Its like he is a gift from god and his birth mother. You are young and need to take care of yourself. What kind of life would you and your son have if you stayed?? You gave your aunt and uncle a wonderful gift too!!! And you get the advantage of watching your child grow and know he is safe
You MADE the right choice for your BABY and YOURSELF!!!!

Doodlestuff

While I don't think you are making a very good choice, the fact that the baby will still be in the family and able to make contact with his natural mother is a plus. Good luck.

SHANA

It's not a bad thing but I was 19 and in a bad relationship with my daughter dad and he moved I never gave her up just think of it like this would you have wanted to be given up by your mother if she could not have been able to take care of you or didn't even try? You would have been upset with her and even through your child would know you are the mom maybe he will not forgive you so you might want to thank about it before you let them adopt your child. Just think about how you would feel if your mother gave you up.

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