Guilty or not guilty?

I am almost 50. For 26 years my natural mother has promised to see me and will back out. What is her problem? Guilty or unstable?
Additional Details
She is a very abrasive person. She says she was not petted when she was little. Also, she says that if I was in the south I would have been with my brothers. She doesn't want them to know. We all are grown. She always talks about she could have kept my daughter for me to go to school where she lives. She's living a untruthful life -- her husband of 2x doesn't know either.

Independ"ant"

Maybe both. Was she condemned by her parents and society for giving birth 50 years ago. Many nmothers during that time period were treated poorly and emotionally abused for getting pregnant in the first place.

Don't judge her until you get to know her and what the real situation was.
She may have not grieved the loss of you.

Read up on the Baby Scoop Era. It may help you understand the situation a little more.

Lori A

Guilt is my guess. I am first mother and had to swollow lots of guilt to get to a place where I could forgive myself in order to have a relationship with my daughter. It's not easy after all those years. Some can do it, others can't. I agree that maybe you should jsut go see her. It may be just the thing she needs to start her healing proccess. You do not need her permission to contact your brothers, if she refuses to have contact with you.

candyapplesyum!

I think she feels guilty you never know maybe she was really young and her parents pushed her and she has never forgiven herself.Have you asked her about your situation what did she say?

Penny A (Vanessa)

Not unstable, most likely a combination of fear and guilt. If she can't even tell her family about it, the fear and guilt must be firmly ingrained and runs very deep. Her claim that she was not petted when she was little is probably the truth - a commonality of that generation. I'm sure she knows she's living an untruthful life, but there's nothing you can do about it, she has to fix that herself.

Lily

Obviously she is unstable, at what point do you stop pointing fingers at people for the way they treated you. Time for you to accept her for what she is and be happy she didn't raise you.

Krista

guilty. maybe you should go see her

r s

I'd just look up your brothers and see them... who cares if it hurts her feelings. If you want to know your birth family go for it. I'd also just show up or something. SHe needs to get over herself.

Jamiebabyy

She could just be afraid to see you. I'm adopted too but I'm only 17 and legally not allowed to see my birth parents yet and I can kind of see why. If you gave up your baby, it could be extremely hard to see the child you let go of 50 years ago, you know? It could also be guilt too.

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