HELP Adoption Problems?

HELP Adoption Complications

A friend of mine is the soon-to-be father of a boy. The mother, his ex-girlfriend, wants to put the baby up for adoption since they are both underage. She and her family have kept information from the father and will not put his name on the birth certificate. He has tried contacting them and has shown an interest in the baby. He wants to gain sole custody of the baby instead of her putting it up for adoption. He would not ask for child support from her. He is willing to get a DNA test to prove paternity if he needs to. He lived with her for months while the boy was conceived. Before deciding adoption, she wanted to keep it and make him pay child support, yet her mother won’t let her. He is afraid the baby will be put up for adoption without his consent. The mother’s family has a history of drug abuse and felonies. What are the chances he can gain sole custody? Can she legally not put his name on the birth certificate if he is present at the hospital at birth?

Any more information would be greatly appreciated.
Additional Details
The family is trying to shut him out and not give him any information concerning the child. As for the mother, she does not want contact with it at all.

Beth K

He needs to go to an attorney that specializes in this field. He can find one to work pro-bono (free). He needs to get paperwork filed before she gives birth stopping them from allowing the adoption to happen. He has a strong case as courts throughout the nation strongly encourage children to remain with the biological parent(s) as long as it is a good and healthy environment.

Yes, he can get custody and stop them, but he has work to do and must do it quickly.

TerraMere

I think he needs to act quickly. He should seek out an attorney, legal aide or some sort of father's rights advocate and file the needed documents to let the courts know he is seeking custody. If the mother does not claim she knows who the father is and makes an adoption plan or tests positive for drugs he could have a problem as soon as the child is born. He needs to act now before the baby is born. I would not rely on any verbal assurances from the mother as from what you say it sounds like they are trying to shut him out. Tell him to think about getting ready for being a dad and preparing for how he will care for and support the child as if it comes down to a custody issue with the mother he may need to relay this information to the court. Once the baby is born he will also need to remember that he will need to work out a positive relationship with the mother and her family if at all possible for the sake of the child. that being said should be unwaveringly firm in his resolve to parent his child and not be willing to give up. He will need to be prepared for high emotions and tension and try to keep his cool. If he is successful it will be well worth it. I wish him good luck and all the best in keeping his child

Cathy B

If he wants custody either way, it is best for him to sue for custody before going through the adoption appeal process. The court would then order a DNA test (they always do). As to sole custody, denial of visitation to a parent who pays support is virtually impossible in many states, so primary custody with visitation would be a more likely outcome (and what's up with you thinking a woman does not deserve visitation because her relatives have problems?). In most states, the biological father's consent is required and he can appeal the adoption process and ask for custody.

realmom lese

I don't know if this will help or not:

National Organization for Birthfather's and Adoption Reform (NOBAR)
P.O. Box 50
Punta Gorda FL 33951
voc: 941-636-7477

Amber B

It doesn't matter if his name is not on the birth certificate. She can not put the child up for adoption unless BOTH parents consent to give up their rights to parentage. He can do a paternity test to prove he is the dad and if she tries to put the baby up for adoption he can file for full custody, or if she has already signed away her parental rights then the baby is his.

Heather B

He needs to put his name on the Putative Fathers registry to protect his interests.

Unfortunately some unethical adoption agencies fly women out of State to give birth, to avoid the fathers rights so keep tabs on where she's taking your baby and sign that putative fathers registry also.

Rowan

He needs to contact a lawyer fast. And push to get his name on the birth certificate.

Hopefully the address and info realmom gave you can help.

maybe

He needs to hire a lawyer, PRONTO. Don't wait until the baby is born, he must work with a lawyer NOW to make it clear to the mother, the adoption agency, and the grandparents that he has every intention of taking custody of his child.

cmc

He needs to contact an attorney and find out how to protect his rights in his state. In theory she needs his consent to go through with the adoption, but if she lies about who the father is the baby may be adopted. If that happens and then he tries to get the baby back from the adoptive family (which is his right) then it will really be bad for the baby.

In addition to the lawyer, he should try to let her family know that he wants the child, will not consent to the adoption, and that if they lie about him the adoption it will be at risk - meaning the adoptive family could lose the child.

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