Hard situation what is best?

Doug

Your not an evil person, but you have heartless parents who should be loving not only you but also your baby, They are as much a part of your child's flesh and blood as you are. I wonder why? They waist their time going to church,if they go,And cannot find love within their hearts for their own Grandson You have the love in your heart that they lack. Good for you!.

Freckle Face

Lilliana,

He is your son. You listened to your heart. You did the right thing. You have a plan. Keep listening to your heart, no matter what anyone says.

I wish you and your son all the best.

Santa's Lil' Helper

Liliana you owe no one, including your family, an explanation.
You two are going to have some catching up to do. Take plenty of pictures and just enjoy your son. You sound like an amazingly strong and brave girl.

As far as your sons name....I like the sound of River. There is such symbolism in that name. Many indigenous people from Brazil believe that the River (Amazon) gives life or renews life.
Since this is the start of yours and your sons new life together River seems perfect. Just my humble opinion.
God Bless and I will pray that your family changes their minds and supports you.

Andraya

You made the best choice for your family, you and your son! It sounds like you thought this out fully and are ready, willing and able to parent. Please don't let a few people cause you to doubt yourself, people come around in the end and the one's who don't aren't worth having around to begin with!

cakitcat2

I think that you are a very strong young woman. I too had a child when I was a teen. I worked hard and raised him on my own. His father was never there. My son is now 29 yrs old. He grew up just fine. You have a big responsibility to him and it is important that you do your very best. He will appreciate it in the long run. It will not be easy but if you work hard you will be richly rewarded. Take care!

Possum

Liliana - congrats on getting your baby back.
Do not listen to anyone that tells you that you are doing the wrong thing.
The absolute BEST thing for your baby - is to be with YOU.
Australia has many many programs to keep you both together - search for them - and you can do this.
From your child - I say thank you.
They should have never taken him so quickly - and it's horrible that they never let you see him in all this time.
If you need any help or advice - contact me through my profile.
Stay strong - you are doing what is best.
Your child will one day thank you himself.
Those that tell you that what your doing is wrong - didn't grow up being adopted - or haven't given away a child themselves.

Erin R

Congrats! You have shown that you are a strong person. Caring for and having your son in your arms will make you only stronger and you will realize that you made the right decision. In time your family will come around (if you want them too) but in the mean time enjoy your time with your little boy. Make sure to do a lot of bonding with him as he might be a little confused. Hold him a lot and wear him in the baby bjorn or sling to increase bonding.
Good luck in everything you do. It will be hard but well worth the rewards.

Camira B

First off, congrats on getting your son back!!

Do NOT listen to anything your family says. This is your baby, not theirs. Any decision you make will be on your conscience for the rest of your life, not theirs. You need to do what's best for you AND the baby.

This child won't care that you're a single parent, or that you're young, or whatever. All he needs is his mommy, and that's you. Don't let your family make you feel guilty. You are a mother who wants her baby, not an incubator for childless couples.

I don't want to sugar-coat anything so know that it will be difficult, especially without your family to back you up. I guarantee you it will be worth it though, and maybe, if they see how serious you are about this baby and how much you love him they'll put their pride to the side and act how a family is supposed to act.

BTW, in my opinion, shunning your family member is much more shameful than having a child.

Toni

If you are able to parent your son you should. The best place for a child is with their biological family when possible. Good luck to you. There is help out there for you to do this. Ask your parents to be "on board" with you as you will need their help, but even if they don't support you, you can do this. There is help out there for young mothers.

I know you are getting a lot of heat for your decision, but give it some time and things will die down.

Good luck to you!

Annie

you know what your the mom and it isn't your mom and dad choice for you to give up your baby even if it is family members i glad your stepping for what you believe in and want to be his mom. did they name him or did you name him if you every need anyone to talk to i am here for you i wish you the best of luck with your SON

i think you doing the right thing your the mom you should know what is best for him can i ask why you cant have any other babies? and if you cant have other why should they have your baby ? does you cousin have a uterus?

what are you changing his name to?

can i ask what is your ethnic background?

how old was he when he was taken from you and have you spent any time with him other than after he was born?

if you need any help with name message me and i can help you i hope you find him a strong name that means something

that is the sadest thing i ever heard about i feel for you how long have you been fighting for him?

do you live in the U.S.A?

milk making mama #2 due Aug 12th

If you felt as though you were coerced into giving up your child I think you did the right thing!!! If you can be with your child more than they can I think it would be for the best!! Also....I am a breastfeeding advocate and I want to let you know it is NOT to late for you to breastfeed your child!! It will help you develop the bond you were not able to form at birth much faster and more naturally than you otherwise would!! If you would like any info on this I would be happy to help you!!! E-mail me any time if you are interested!!! Good luck and God bless you both!!!!!

Brianna

You asked "what is best for me son?"

He's 3 months old and I don't think he has really figured out who his mommy is yet, he's just getting his needs taken care of. If you take him back this early, he should be okay.

Sounds like you're making the right decision. The system there appears to be set-up to help people like you keep their chldren. You should keep him.

Good luck! :-)

Jennifer L

The adoption wasn't legal. You did not make a free choice to place the baby for adoption and you do not owe your cousin and her husband your child. If they want to adopt, they can do so legally.

As far as the rest of your family, either they will come around or they won't. Do you have other family members or good friends that will help support you? You said your boyfriend left you, but what about his family? Would his parents be open to being a part of their grandson's life?

It sounds like you've been settled in at a good school that will be able to assist you. Please look for other supports that the school can offer: counseling, Mom&Baby groups to network with, etc. Being a teen parent is hard and you will need some support and help, especially if you aren't getting any of that from your own family.

Best of luck to you!

red&sassy

You're a mom and you've made the right decision. It sounds like you've got all your ducks in a row.

Success is the best revenge. Do well in school and then go to college.

Best wishes.

Ted

If you want to raise your child, then you have every right to do so.

I'm very sad to hear that your family is not supporting you (especially considering these people call themselves Christians).

sk8ermom

Keep your son. If you love him and hug him, that is more than anyones money is going to buy. As far as your family...some will come around, some won't. It happens. Be strong for your son and remember to always be there for him no matter what he does. Good luck sweetie! And by all means...change the name! If he grows to find out his name is from another mother, he will be reminded he was givin away (temporarily)everytime he writes it.

cmc

If your heart it telling you that you should be with him, it is all that you can do. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you don't want to always wonder if you should have taken him back. It might be hard for a few years while you are so young, but it sounds like the right thing to do. If it had been a legal adoption I would feel differently, but then hopefully you also would have received counseling before your decision.

I love the name River. As for getting pregnant later, you can do IVF if your ovaries are healthy and only your tubes are blocked. You can even be an egg donor for your cousin if her uterus will sustain a pregnancy (not saying you should). Also I think you have to be 18 or 21 to be an egg donor.

Ann Mary G

I don't believe in taking a child away from a loving home just on the whim of the mother, but I also do not believe in having children for someone else to raise as your cousins are doing. They don't have a child to love, they have an object to say they have a child. You taking this baby to school is much better than a stranger raising it. There is no love from the stranger. It's good you are staying in school. Don't worry about what the family says. Just keep doing what you are doing and make sure you spend a lot of time with him. It doesn't sound like he got the bonding that is essential in the first few months of life.

AdoreHim

the adoption was not legal and even more importantly than that, you yourself did not on your own want to relinquish your son. Even though I am adopted myself and have 2 adopted children- I can totally understand that you would want your child back, and you should have that opportunity. I am very glad you made this decision as early as you did- if you had disrupted the family later, that would have been more devastating for the child. However, that said, I must say this- you must understand the turmoil that your cousin and her hubby must be going through to have a child taken away from them, that they cared for and loved for 3 months.

Brad H

You're right... this is a difficult situation.

It sounds as though you've made almost all of your decisions already, so I won't critique the major ones.

You should conisder leaving his name as it is. Believe it or not, babies at three months have already started to learn their names. Now don't get me wrong. He'll adjust if you change it. But changing it will cause some confusion in his three-month-old brain and add to his sense of disruption. The change in custody will be a big enough disruption to his life.

Keeping his name will also go a long way toward mending fences within the family, and perhaps make the cousins feel like your request to have them be godparents is more sincere, and of course it will enhance their connection to the baby over time. Eventually, they may tell a somewhat fictional tale about how they helped you pick out a name, etc.

Good luck.

Crucio

I donâ€™t like the name Graham either would it be possible to at least keep Sean in his name? Harlan Sean James, Sean River James, call him River. Even more if you are going to ask your cousins to be his godparents it could be a kind gesture. You might wait a few months before offering this they will have to do their own grieving for their loss.

Maybe next time this people will adopt legally, they were just trying to do it the fast way. They can try to adopt another child.

I wish you the best it likely is not going to be easy even more if you have no or little support. Its great you have a job but babyâ€™s are very costly to provide for one not to mention yourself on a part time salary does not seem to me that it would go far but who knows maybe Down under it would be, maybe part time work you get paid more.

Mitch Conner

Can you afford insurance in case something really bad happens to the kid. the kid is probably better off with your cousin. You should sitll see the kid alot.Maybe take custody when you've lived a bit.

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