Has anyone?

Adoption is A-OK!

my bmom and my bdad are the ones who found me.

my bmom is so much like my real mom and surprisingly, my bdad is a lot like my real dad. I do think (and it's only my theory) that it explains a bit about why i felt so natural in my home.

my bmom is stubborn and extremely opinionated (yeah, i know -- here it comes lol); i can tolerate her in small doses much like my real mom sometimes. Sometimes, she can be downright nasty. after about 4 years in reunion, i cut ties with her because i was tired of hearing the "if i had raised you . . ." in such a negative manner. I was tired of her undermining my relationship with my daughter yada yada yada (another post someday maybe); we didn't talk for several years until my daughter gave birth on Sep 6 last year. Since then, we see each other about 3 - 4 times a month in short stints. She does care about my daughter and granddaughter and that is very evident. I think she feels that she is making up for time without me by being around my daughter. Maybe makes her feel like she is getting to "me" at a younger age (hope you can follow what i'm trying to say).

my bdad is very quiet yet thoughtful and kind. He has a live and let live attitude. he retired to Puerto Rico but we do talk about every 6 weeks or so. Although my bmom had more than a few snarky remarks for my bdad, my bdad just smiles and says "'K' is 'k' and hasn't changed" and lets it go. He has no desire to be involved in the 'drama'. His wife is great as well.

i don't think i had any questions hence i didn't get 'more answers' from him. however, the first time i saw him, i stopped dead in my tracks as i was looking at me. don't get me wrong, my dad was hispanic too so our family pictures looked like family pictures based on physical characteristics but this was totally different.

don't forget to leave out the biosiblings . . .bmom's family loves the idea of reunion.

bdad's daughters HATE it and have been very clear about their feelings towards me and my intrusion into their lives (mind you, THEY looked for ME) but hey, i can understand where they're coming from and i'd have more than a few questions myself if someone just popped in at the dinner table, eh??? lol

anyway, that's my story . . .which is totally different in one way or another or more ways than one than anyone else's :)

LaurieDB

I actually reunited with my ndad before anyone else. It's been a 6-1/2 year terrific reunion. We'd both looked for each other, but he didn't realize my first name would be changed, since I wasn't relinquished until 13 months of age, so he was looking for a girl with a different name.

Anyway, we're quite close. I am also fortunate to have a great relationship with my whole extended family on his side. Many of them remember me from when I was a baby.

I asked my ndad once if he loved me as much as he would have if he'd finished raising me himself. He responded right away, saying, "Definitely. Maybe even more."

He's told me tons of stories about our family and about my nmom, too. She passed away 7 months before I located her. We compare notes from my genealogical research, which allows him to put the personal touches on the tree.

My relationship with him is one of the many joys in my life. I'm happy to have him in it.

Problem Child

I found my birth father years ago. It was nice to hear his side of the story and fill in a few more of the blanks.
We didn't stay in touch because his wife was an infertile who couldn't stand the fact of my existence because it was proof that he could father children and the infertility issue was her problem.
My being alive made her feel less of a woman, I guess. So, she basically forbid the relationship between us...nice, huh?

Mark B

i am still trying to find his name myself....
see my mother (birth one that is) did not have him sign the birth certificate and so no one will tell me his name not even the birth mum (I think it is course she thinks i would tell him where she is) and the department will not give me his information as they say he has a right to privacy yet he from what i can tell does not know of me so what expectations to privacy would he really have?

farrellm76

i know my biological and we keep in touch regularly.

unfortunately i do not know my biological father and my adoptive parents refuse to help me find him.
apparently he was involved with drugs and wasnt a very nice
person...so i probably have no chance of ever finding him.
as i don't know his name or anything.

â™¥

rachael

yep, i did. lori and i found him late last year.

we have a good relationship. not what i want, but this man is different. lori and i are loud, open, opininated and talk like our *** in on fire. he is quiet, reserved, very private and laid back. i want to jump in with both feet, "gimme info, more, more, more"
he takes everything slow. and he has a hard time expressing his feelings. lori has to play mediator for me often. i get my feelings hurt because he doesnt want to have a 2 hour phone conversation with me. its not me, he just isnt that type of person.
but i am extremely impatient and vocal. i struggle with his 'take it as it comes' attitude. i make it happen, he goes with the flow.

i did get some answers from him, but more so his sister and mom. again-he is a man of few words.

i think what held me back for so many years was the fact that, as a man, he did not carry me and give birth. to be totally honest (ashamed of myself for this) i kind of thought maybe he 'forgot' about me. i was out of his life, so i thought i was out of his mind too.
boy was i wrong.
he never had any other children because, as he said "i couldnt take care of you when you needed me,so i never had any more"
he never got married. he has spent his life alone and doing whatever he wanted answering to no one.
i affected him greatly, and i was convincing myself that he wouldnt even remember me. {{hangs head}}

he is bright, caring, sweet and all around wonderful and stable. i adore him. but i am hard for him to handle. many times lori has had to stop me and say "SLOW DOWN, HE ISNT LIKE US!"
im like the bull and he is the china shop. i just barrel in, he doesnt know what to do with me. but he tries and thats all i can ask for. i know i am loved, he tells me all the time. i just gotta give him some breathing room.
i took his quiet life and turned it upside down. he is ok with it, he just doesnt know how to respond and relay his feelings. it will come with time, i just gotta learn some patience. not my strong suit let me tell you

great question. thanks

Anastasia Beaverhousen

I wish I could meet my bdad. He was murdered in '92 by a *enter explicit content here* that was just recently paroled out of prison. I've been told stories about him but I would have loved to meet him.

Lillie

Yes I did. It's an interesting story; my n-parents got married 6 months after I was born, were married for about 10 years, and then divorced. However they remained close because of my full brother (who is 8 years younger than I am).

When I reunited with my mother, my father was not willing to meet me. It took him about 8 years to come around. When he did, we had a very nice meeting and spent a day together, which was quite healing for both of us. He wasn't the type of person to b.s. or be "fakey" so I know that everything we talked about that day was genuine. No lies, no pretending, he was just himself and what he gave me was true to him. I appreciate that to no end.

He passed away the following winter; so we never had another chance to see one another. It's sad, too; I was so much like him, in our interests and personalities, it was clear that I really took after him. Funny how I could be so much like him even though I had never known him. But, nature is a funny thing!

my sister in law met both of her parents at the age of 18
her birth parents always told her she was adopted
but she hadnt been in contact with them until the age of 18

she went and stayed with both of them and lived with her birth father for a while

mlassi65

I have a great relationship with my natural father. He was thrilled to be found. He had no idea that adoption records were sealed like they are. He was excited to become an "instant" grandpa. He told me stuff like how he first met my nmom etc.

soccer

I have only knew my biological mother. My dad was not very kind to her when she was pregnant. My parents were never married but... My mom faught for full custody of me and got me! My step-dad (He really is, I cal him dad because I neva knew my real dad andhe came into my life before I was 3) Anyway, I don't like to talk about my dad because I don't want to make my (DAD) upset. My mom doesn't like to talk about it either :)

Lori A

Rachael has.

Still Me

As a feminist, mother, adoptee, and birthmother, I had no desire to meet the "man" who impregnated and then left the woman who gave me birth and planned my future. Even though he may have matured, grown up, found religion, or changed, I had no desire to hear about. I decided I didn't want to try and rewrite history, but create my own. I have a father, warts and all, who CHOSE to stay present in my life, do the best he could, and love me. He is my real father.

(He is my "adoptive" father, for those of you who may not follow.)

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