Have you adopted children? please tell me your storys!?

LaurieDB

Okay, I'm 43. My amom (adoptive mom) kept having miscarriages. They decided to adopt. The agency the called did all of the necessary prep work, then matched me up with them.

Really, that's what it comes down to for a lot of us. It's not some flowers, sunshine and rainbows thing. It's just how we ended up together as a family. And, guess what? Just like any other family we had our ups, downs and in-betweens. I think too many people want to glorify adoption. After all the hoopla, you've got a family that now includes a child who, for whatever reason, couldn't be raised by his/her original family. And you go on from there.

Thirty-five years later I got to reunite with that original family. Now I actually know and have both of my families.

So, that's pretty much the "story."

The story of adoption in my adult life includes not only my reunion, but my active involvement in the fight to restore equal rights to all adopted citizen, as we don't have equal rights in 44 states. I want to see adoption laws and practices improved for all those involved in adoption.

jgf5822

as an adoptee, i am absolutely against adoption. i think it screws with a person's head.

"your mother loved you so much she gave you away".

so people who keep their kids do not love them?

"you were chosen" oh, so there was a room full of newborn white kids available and i got picked? no, that's not what happened.

the list goes on. it's all a game that plays with the adoptee's minds. it benefits the aparents. not the adoptee.

ETA: believe it or not, i love my aparents very much. that does not negate my hatred of adoption as it is.

magic pointe shoes

"I watch adoption storys all the time and they are just so beautiful, i cry most everytime!!"

It's beautiful to watch someone give birth in the most low point of their lives where they aren't able to keep their child and must relinquish? It's beautiful to watch the potential adoptive families struggle with the joy of bringing a new family member into their lives at the cost of the loss they just witnessed?

That moment is emotionally messy for everyone involved and really can't be told in a simple Yahoo! Answer. Sorry.

Wundt

This question actually gets asked regularly on this site.

Our story is much like the one above. We adopted two little boys (brothers) through fostercare. It took two years from start to finish, we fostered them for about 10 months before the adoption was finalized. The boys had been removed from the bio family for neglect, abuse, and more. It was a great experience and we are now a great family.

berhane_06

I appreciate your interest but I will keep the story of how our son blessed our lives private. I am not willing to have it out there for those who don't know my family to use this forum as a way to denegrate adoption as a whole. My heart genuinely breaks for the adoptees who had troubling experiences and I will not discount those either. They are very real and like anything in life -- there are great stories and tragic ones. I hope you understand but I did want to thank you for asking because it seems to me that you are genuinely interested in the emotional process of adoption, which I lovingly refer to as "paper labor" and SO worth it! :)

needed something new

Well I wasn't adopted, though my older brother and sister had me convince for a year that I was, two of my 10 uncles were adopted. The funny thing is I really didn't know till I was about 8. I didn't know that 2 of my uncles were twins till I was 8 either, but really neither ever mattered, and still doesn't. They are my uncles. Plus there have been many foster children in and out of my family as well. Both uncles were from Washington and they were both in my Grandma's house since birth. The older one had problems excepting his mother when he was young. He would get presents from her or phone calls but he would throw away the gifts and hang up the phone. He had quite a few issues, but we all still love him anyway. And it's kind of cool, he had the chance to choose his own middle name and he chose my dad's name because they were close. Now he has gotten a call from his father who he has never heard from or knew about just a month ago. His father has been looking for him for the past 3 years, though his mother wants nothing to do with him. I haven't heard the latest on that yet. The youngest was always the cool uncle that me and the rest liked to hang around because he was only a few years older then us. He's had a rough time getting his emotions worked out. He drooped out of school and then got a really good job that he likes, the only problem is that he has money problems. He's really trying to do better I think but he still hasn't let go of his hurt and anger toured his birth-mother, because she had another son too, but she's kept him but not my uncle. Oh, but he's my grandma's baby boy and she loves having him, she loves all her boys, including her grandson's and 3 male dogs. Yeah, this could look like a sad story but really they aren't that sad just hard, tough, and emotional. We still have to see the end.

HappyMomAnna

Do you cry when you hear other people talk about their labor and delivery stories too?

I personally don't like it when I see adoptive parents go on television in order to make other people feel like crying... I kind of find that to be all about the parents and not about the children....

Since there are only a few ways to give birth and a few dramatic little things that can go on I never have figured out why moms want to sit around and share the minor differences in childbirth... I have given birth twice and it is really just the same old story about a C-Section and emergency and then another C-section that was planned...

But, the path to adoption is very unique and there are a variety of ways to become an adoptive parent.... I actually see the stories of how that happened all over the place and think you would find a lot of these stories easy to find on the Internet....

Simply put--We adopted siblings from the foster care system. It took about 2 years start to finish and has changed all the lives in our family.... One child was 5 and one was 1 at the time we became a family... I did not need anesthesia and my labor was long and delivery of a 50 pound and 22 pound child was remarkable unpainful.

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