Have you ever blamed your bio parents?

cantstopLinnyG

I have had cancer twice now. A phyllodes breast sarcoma, and a liposarcoma on my hand. It runs in my n family. I dont blame them, though...you cannot help genetics.

Kind of like my adoptive dad is an alcoholic. So was his dad, and so is his uncle. It's why my a sis (my a mom & dad's bio daughter) chooses not to drink.

You can't "blame" genes, but you can be proactive with your own health. Another reason why open records are a necessity for all adoptees.

monkeykitty83

Is this meant only for adoptees? If so, ignore this. If it's meant for anybody (since we all have biological families)...

To be honest, at the times when I most struggled with it, I questioned what my parents were thinking, conceiving a child who had a genetic certainty of clinical depression and an anxiety disorder, and an extremely high risk of bipolar. I didn't get the bipolar, thankfully, but I had a battle with the other two. Literally everyone genetically related to me struggles with mental health issues, so this was a very predictable outcome of conception.

However, having come through it, I'm glad to be here. I have so much good stuff in my life. I don't in any way wish I didn't exist. So... I'd say overall no, but I've had my moments of it.

rachael

im sorry to hear about the crap you are living. my heart goes out to you and i send you healing vibes. i just went through this with my asis in 2008, i know your pain.

i cant tell you how to feel, but your reaction makes sense. but it cant stop there, your bparents were given those genes from theirs, and so on......
to blame just your immediate link is like blaming me for single handedly destroying the ozone with my 'rave' aerosol hair spray in the 80s. yes, i did help, but i was not alone. it was way bigger than just me.

by the way....WHY WASNT I INVITED TO THE WHINE AND CHEEZ PARTY???? im feeling slighted......

Heather B

No I dont blame them for genetic conditions passed on. In fact I'm grateful that I have contact and access to up-to-date family medical information that they're willing to share with me. Without it I would never have been treated appropriately for the genetic medical condition I have.

I'm sorry 'bout the c. I hope that gets beaten.

Swa

Here's my turn...

I'm adopted, I'm 20 years old going to be 21 in a month.

I was left at an adoption agency. I have no history on my birth parents other than my 'daddy' was black and 'mommy' white.

I have health conditions that have threatened my life. They are things that are often passed down through the family so there's nothing to "prevent" happening from happening.

I am angry that I have no health history. Having known that certain things ran in the family could have had my doctors take preventative measures and help me, rather than spending years trying to figure out what was wrong.

David Corpus

You can't blame them as individuals for inheritable conditions. The only thing you can blame them for was the decision to not terminate the pregnancy. Arguing against your existance is not productive, though.

It would be much more useful to collect the health information from your biological family to be aware of what you are predisposed to and to share it with your doctor and keep it with your personal copy of your medical records (You are smart enough to keep one, right?)

That way doctors know what to keep an eye out for and what tests should be routinely ran.

I was adopted from birth and unfortunately I have a list of things to look out for. I am fortunate in the sense that it is better to be forewarned, though. I should add that it is dissapointing that this information is not collected and passed on at the time of adoption. I tracked down my family for this purpose alone.

Indian-vision

I don't exactly blame them as such but i am aware some of my issues come from them and i do remind them about it. Not hurtfully though. Just to grumble.

I have panic/anxiety attack disorder running in my mom's side of the family and its annoying.

Also many gynaec issues i have, my mom had at my age.

But i am so sorry you are going through "C". I had gone for the breast cancer support walk a few years ago when i lived in the U.S. I wish you get well soon.

Rowan

I dont blame them, it's not their fault, it's simply genetics.

I can understand you though, it is hard not to blame somene. Especially when you are struggling with the c word, i saw a friends mother die of breast cancer. not pretty.

Dawn R

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!!!!!!!!! my bio parents are not in my life. and i have panic attacks a lot and i know my bio mom has them, i feel like why do i not only have her in my life i have to have her illness too. Damn her!!!!!!!! believe me i know its not like cancer but i understand what you mean. blessings to you, i hope you will be ok.

BOTZ

No, I have not.

I have inherited two serious diseases from my natural parents and am at risk for "C" as well, serious risk, as I have 2 first degree and 2 second degree female relatives who have died from, or survived, breast cancer.

My parents were young when I was born and THEIR parents were even still pretty young. None of them knew about the conditions they would have. They could not see into the future.

We all inherit something. All things considered, I'm very glad I DIDN'T inherit the diseases that are rampant in my a-family.

Take care and be well!

School Nurse

I was not adopted but there are things that run in my family that are unpleasant, to say the least. We have to take care of our health, adopted or not, and get yearly health checks in addition to seeing a doctor when we are ill. We all know that there are certain things that are NOT good for us and can cause cancer. We should not smoke, we should eat a healthy diet, get at least 7 hours of sleep at night, control our stress, and we should exercise at least an hour 4 times a week, etc. Even though we KNOW these things, we don't always DO them even if we know cancer, heart disease, Alzheimer's, or kidney disease, etc may run in the family. We never know what tomorrow may bring--adopted or not. Even if you knew your complete health history, you would probably be like everyone else and not live any healthier than you do now. We always look for someone to blame or a REASON for this to happen. It's not your dad's fault anymore than your kids' health or your grandkids' health will be YOUR fault. Life goes on and it is not predictable. Focus on getting well and let go of your anger. Anger and stress will affect healing negatively. I'm sorry you are going through this. Blessings to you.

Helena B

mabye u should go 2 the big adoptees wine n cheeze party.

Blame Bush

Yes. I abhor that my right-wing parent breeders ever had me. With all the population in the world, I at least won't have a brood. You can all thank me later!!!!!

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