Have you heard adoption being suggested for a child to have a "normal" life?

chielu c

Good question, Julie J.

Being taken from your parents and family, given a new identity and your real one locked away is as about abnormal as it gets. Fighting with the government to know what your real identity is and who your real parents are is far from normal daily activities. Calling strangers mom and dad while you're not allowed to know who your real mom and dad are is not normal. Searching endlessly just to find your parents, siblings, relatives, ethnic identity, ancestry and spending thousands of dollars to do this is not what I would classify as normal life endeavors.

So, no, IMO adoption is not a normal way of life.

Freckle Face

Hi Julie,

I have not heard this before but i have heard it implied that two parent homes are better than single parent homes. One thing to keep in mind is that adoptive families get divorced like everyone else and in the end the children could still be raised by a single parent.

Are two abusive adoptive parents better than one single wonderful mom? When you put it in those terms I think the hypocrisy of this statement screams out at you.

I don't believe anyone can define "normal" anymore but i see a struggle in my daughters eyes. No matter how you put it, I believe it hurts not to be raised by your biological mother. Even if say DD for arguments sake has a better life with us, there is still pain from losing her mother/family. She doesn't have to say anything, I see it in her eyes. Why does it hurt, because its not normal?

Mom to Foster Children

Being born - normal
Being born addicted to some kind of drug - not normal
Being abused - not normal
Being removed from the only family / mother you have ever known - not normal
Having to live with Strangers - not normal
Never getting to go back home - not normal

I vote for not normal!

sam22254

Truth is that the adoption agency that took my grandson and the couple who has him feel that no single parent needs to keep their child. They think that in the best interest of the child that the child should be raised with both a mother and dad. This same adoption agency will not adopt a child to a gay couple nor a single parent. Boy I'm glad they wasn't around when Jesus was born to a 14 year old.
Until single parents stand up for their rights and birth mothers are not looked at like breeders then nothing is going to change. And courts and judge get off their buts and

for my foster son soon to be adoptive normal is not having a mom on and off of drugs and having a chance at a happy childhood which he would not have with her

elaeblue

Adoption is much more "normal" than being in foster care is.

vmarie84

There is nothing normal about a child being separated from its mother at birth.

Independ"ant"

Yes, I've heard and read that many times.

It beats me why some paps or aps refer to themselves as being able to give a child a "normal" life. Normal is average at most. In the US (sorry) but that's becoming sub-par when it comes to education. If people want to go against the laws of nature than those people should be coming up with something better to justify adoption where abuse and severe neglect is not an issue.

If people want to equate normal with natural than no...adoption isn't normal.

Living within the normal average mundane could actually retard children's growth. I honestly believe the US needs to change the way the education system forces children to put "interests" on the back burner for a more overall well rounded education where they graduate at being Masters at nothing and clueless in what to pursue, next.

Excellent question sorry to go off topic.

dmommab@sbcglobal.net

Yes, I have heard that but I think it's hard to determine what "normal" is. Although I do know that most children don't visit with their parents weekly for a couple hours at children's services & live with strangers (at least they are strangers to begin with in foster care). I think it depends on the age of the child, the "reason" the child is in foster care & MANY other things.

opedial

When adopting from foster care, and the children were abused (which was the case with mine) then heck ya we are giving them a normal, stable and loving home.

It is not the same when talking about issues such as income, where you live, all that stuff, but yes I have said I want my ch ildren to live a normal happy childhood to the best of their ability given their first few years.

Just a Mom

You know, *f* normal. I am sure that nothing in my kids lives are normal, but who wants to be normal? Would normal have been being split into 5 different families and adopted separately? Would normal be staying with parents who, although they loved them, didn't have the mental ability to take care of them? If my 3 year-old would have stayed much longer, she would have died of starvation? If that is normal, no thanks.

Happy to be not normal!

Pirate Girls Kick Butt!

They probably were referring to a life that is fairly stress free from financial and emotional issues. I'd think you are smart enough to know that.
Just cause someone is not adopted doesn't mean thier life is "normal" either.
ex: I am a biologial product of a 40+ year marriage, but my life has been far from normal.

C Wood

It really depends on your definition of the word "normal".

While adoption may not be a "normal" life, it's more normal than living with parents who are drug addicts, or alcoholics, or living in a group home.
cw

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