Have you read this? is adoption a commitment or a rental option?

dory

It's a sad reality that we often don't hear about and further reinforces the feeling that we truly are disposable.

According to the article in my link below:

"a growing number of foreign adoptees were being turned over to the U.S. foster-care system recently prompted the Department of Health and Human Services to order its first national count: 81 children adopted overseas were relinquished to officials in 14 states in 2006."

and that's just in the U.S.

Julie R

This story is a perfect example to illustrate the dire need for prospective adoptive parents to be educated on raising adopted children. They need to learn and understand how to work with adopted children in resolving issues of separation, abandonment, identity, belonging, etc. EARLY.

If they can't get past that, they need to consider a pet instead.

The psychological and emotional challenges of being an adopted infant, child, and adult are quite real but all too often glossed over or flatly denied. Even if adopters are informed about adoptee issues, many will say, "Well, IF my child ends up having these issues, I will deal with it." By then it is too late. This child (Jade) is 8 years old.

It is obvious to most who are enlightened about the psychological and emotional challenges of adoption that Jade's problems are a result of neglect - emotional and psychological neglect.

While I understand she was in family therapy, that fact only serves to support the sad fact that most therapists are still untrained and unaware of the unique needs of adopted children. Such therapists tend to exacerbate these children's problems rather than facilitate resolution - just as happened in this case.

It's shameful.

I can almost understand this happening in the '50s or '60s, but this child was adopted as an infant in 2000!!! Saying "adoption is different these days" doesn't hold water as long as adoptee issues continue to be dismissed.

LindsayM

It is awful. They got the kids they wanted, their own, then dumped the adopted one. I wonder how many adoptive parents wish they could do the same thing.

sam22254

This is a sad case and I feel like this child should receive child support from this couple for she wasn't the one that broke the agreement and this couple should never be able to adopt again. Shame on this couple

mari

It's a commitment. You shouldn't just adopt a child and expect that you can give it back if you don't like it. Adoption may have the word "option" in it but it's not something you can just want one day, keep the child, and give it back when you're done with it. That's not the way it works.

snow flake

Unbelievable. The poor girl doesn't have a chance of ever being a well-adjusted, trusting adult capable of forming loving attachments with other people.
But, at least she's alive...right?

jessica300

It's a travesty.

In one article I read, the couple claims that Jade was ill because SHE had a severe inability to attach. It takes two to tango. Perhaps???? the adoptive couple were ill and could not attach to Jade.

And this is called "disruption", but when a mother relinquishes, it's called abandonment. See the neat twist in adoption language? And really, either way, the child FEELS abandoned, but that's not where the focus of adoption is.

If a mother who relinquished wanted to get her child back after 8 years she'd be laughed out of the country, but it is legal for adoptive parents to...quit...anywhere along in the process.

a healing adoptee

I think it is very disgusting. There are some people who shouldn't be parents. One bad apple can cast a bad light on adoptive parents who adopt for the right reasons.

Butterfly heart

I can't imagine doing that to a child! Our son is adopted and we are his parents. We take the good with the bad just like any parent does. If this girl was adopted at 4 mos, she shouldn't have bonding issues...unless her "parents" didn't make the effort to bond with her after having thier biological children...which is problaby the case. My bond with my son is so strong, nothing could break it. He wants to be with us all the time. We nurture him and love his so much! As does both our families. No one cares how he became part of our family. We love him, period!
I know people "return" kids they've adopted all the time and it's sad. If you can't commit 110% then don't do it! And that goes for biological kids too!

BPD Wife

This is so sad. Children should not just be "given" away for medical reasons or adjustment reasons of the child. There are programs out there to help.

When a child is adopted in the US, they receive all rights of a child in that family - just as a biological child would have. They are entitled to inheritance, etc. If the adoptive parents would not consider doing this type of thing with their bio child, then in NO way should they be considering it with the child they adopted.

I would give my life for my son before I would ever consider walking away from him.

littleJaina

I think this has less to do with adoptive parents, and more to do with aristocrats. I'm willing to bet they're not any better parents to their own kids. They'll probably all be in boarding school by the time they're 10, and they figured they just didn't want to foot the bill for "Jade". There really ought to be a law against abandoning kids like that... maybe there even is in some places, but since this is international it doesn't apply.

Crucio

This is a very sad story I feel for this little girl but you know someone will now step up and want to adopt her. Hopefully they will get her the help she will need. I think this type of situation probably a small % even more when they have had the child for so long.

noodlesmycat

That is sad but thankfully an exception. Adoption is a very real commitment to me and the majority of adoptive families. One can only pray that this child can be placed in a loving family's home. How traumatized she must be! Poor thing, I bet they didn't even teach her Korean.

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