Have you seen this? Throw-away children?

HappyMomAnna

Last night my father of all people called me and told me about it... Ironic timing as this morning we had another long meeting with too many people who want to suggest the only option left is to give up...

http://newmemories.blogspot.com/2009/02/thanks-dad.html

...and today we left another meeting with too many people who say there is no real hope--still not giving up. Now I am taking a break from the calling everyone--and anyone on my list, or who has a phone number someone answers.

one day at a time. And sometimes just seeing a story like this give me just enough wind and hope.

If only my little girl can smile like Mia one day...

Thanks Dad--not sure you have ever given me a nicer gift, just knowing that he would think of my daughter and call me to put Mia on my heart just as I face those who would have me give up!

Pleasantly Psycho Cat

Mines also say link can't be found. It's absolutely horrible to refer to a person especially an innocent child as 'Throw-away children.'

ETA: OK the new link works. I find Mia's story ghastly but with a happy ending that she deserves. I admire Mia and her AP's greatly and she has grown into a lovely young woman.

MamaKate

Dear Heather,

Unfortunately, in my time as a GAL, I have heard that term used by SWs before. I actually got into a rather heated argument in the hallway of DSS with a SW who referred to one of my clients (he was a 12 yo, AA male adoptee who was "emotionally/mentally/behaviorally challenged" who had been removed from his adoptive home for the 3rd time due to ABUSE - this time he had had a pool cue broken across his back as well as huge welts from a belt) as a "throw away". She kept insisting that due to his issues he would be "unadoptable" and should be RETURNED to his abusive APs because she felt he would be too hard to place if DSS did a TPR. (I ended up being reprimanded by the agency director but my GAL supervisor defended me and I was later apologized to. Unfortunately, my client did not get the apology or the services or help HE NEEDED, despite our efforts.)

These APs had been investigated in three separate counties and the boy had been removed twice previously. The APs had a younger boi-daughter who was their "princess" and would punish the boy for things "princess" did as well as accuse him of "stealing" (taking food without permission) and of being a "problem child" who "lied all the time". The boy had scars all over from previous beatings and displayed a severe avarsion to their presence. They and the SW blamed it on being adopted and "emotional/mental/behavioral issues". (AAAUGH!!! Funny thing is, neither his teachers, foster parents or myself ever had ANY complaints or problems with his behavior or his so-called issues.)

Sadly, my position was "over-ruled" by DSS and the APs expensive attorney (who has a terrible rep in my area for representing the worst parents and getting them off) an the boy was returned to them. He even brought in the family's pastor who got on the witnes stand and gushed about how Christian the APs were - ESPECIALLY since they had ADOPTED. The family left the county shortly there after, presumably to avoid any further action against them because they had no intention of stopping their abuse. (The really scary part is the APs owned a DAYCARE!!!!)

I worry about him still and so does another SW friend of mine who was the one who handled his previous removal. (She is not the one who returned him.) She would never use the term "throw away". We both quit about a year later - my friend moved to a neighboring county with a more reputable DSS dept. and I volunteer in other ways now. We still talk about C. and wonder if he is ok. Due to confidentiality laws and our previous involvement with the family and the fact that they have disappeared we are not able to "check" in on him. (Although both of us would do so in a heartbeat if we knew where to look!)

NO CHILD IS A "THROW AWAY".

(Mia's story proves it.)

Angela R

I saw that news story last night too, and she is an amazing girl who overcame unspeakable abuse. I'm sad to say it's not the first time I heard the phrase "throw away child", but it really makes me mad, especially as an adoptive parent. No child should be discarded, or seen as "too damaged" for there to be any hope, especially when they're talking about a toddler, like Mia was.

Looney Tunes

Originally the term "throw-away" meant a child who was rejected or abandoned by their parents and lives on the street. Street kids will still use this term.

In terms of foster care, it can mean TWO things:

The first is when foster kids age out and literally are lost to the streets. This article gives the example of how foster kids are dropped off at homeless shelters when they turn 18. These are "throw-away" kids.
http://www.pasadenaweekly.com/cms/story/detail/?id=3559&IssueNum=25

But, it also means exactly what you read. Kids that the "system" believes that there is NO hope for. Many of these children wind up in RTCs (residential treatment centers) when younger and then juvenile detention facilities when they are older. People give up on them.

But as you can see in this story, if you don't give up, there is hope.
Love, caring, patience, understanding can help change things that were so horrible, but it takes people to be willing to hang in there and believe.

Sonny Pogi

How dare these people use that term! Nothing of God is "throw-away". We were all created distinct from each other. Each with different keenness of faculties. Is Mia an incapacitated child? Is she missing any of her 5 senses? Even if she loses al the five, she would still be a magnificent creation of God...superior to other creations, like animals and beasts...and no human can ever duplicate her physical qualities. Humans may have been into "cloning" now...Only God can make ta person's soul and spirit...

allchildrenareangels

Wow that is horrible. I can't imagine abuse that bad. I can't believe that abuse can be so bad that they remember what happened to them before they are a year old. Wow her adoptive parents are absolute saints. That would have been really hard. I wonder how long it took before they could get her to communicate. She is a wonderful young lady now.

Love,
Michelle

Serenity71

Lets change it a bit...

There are NO throw away children...

However there ARE throw away adults who do unthinkable crimes to innocent children and those people I could put in a cell lock the door and never think about ever again...

Independ"ant"

Yep.....everyday but its often ignored. Throw-away.....Many kids are just written off as illegals and thrown back over the border without any support or resources.

I'm glad that Mia got the help she needed but it shouldn't be ignored that foreign adoption with a heavy price tag on the children's heads also contribute to kids having to go through this. Many babies/toddlers that end up(legally/illegally) in foster care are molested and raped until they are sold to foreigners. Those ethical agencies that everyone thoroughly researches look at kids as commodities...why not make a few bucks while the paperwork is being finalized. If they can't get away with selling a kidnapped child.....where do you think some of them end up.

http://www.libertadlatina.org/LatAm_US_San_Diego_Crisis_Index.htm

â™€Ãœnicandyâ™€

Link says page cannot be found?

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