He went back out with me what should i do?
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He went back out with me what should i do?
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I broke up with my boyfriend because he said in the future when we got married and it turned out i could not have kids that he would not adopt. I asked him time after time if he would ever consider that as an option he said flat out NO!!!! Then i said i am going to find another man who will let that be an option for our future. Then when he knew i was serious cause i broke up with him he finally said that he would adopt kids in the future if that was an option. If he had a firm no. Do y'all think that he is just trying to keep me because he really loves me and thinks that i will change my mind in the future about adopting. I personally think he will say no when we get married and stay together for a while. What should i do?
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kateiskate
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Well having biological kids is probably important to him...It's important to a lot of guys as men are genetically hardwired to want to reproduce.
That being said, maybe he has another really good reason for not wanting to adopt. Have you ever asked? My really good reason not to adopt is because I am adopted and don't know what it feels like to have a biological connection with anyone, so I want to give birth to my kids rather than adopting. Eventually I will most likely also foster though.
Anyway, you guys need to have an honest discussion about what you really want. Those kinds of deep issues are the ones that break up marriages down the road if they are ignored early on. |
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Randy B
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Personally, I think he is just saying that but you know him better then we do. The fact that you are questioning his answer here however leads me to believe that deep down inside you don't really believe him either. |
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Linny G
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Having a child of one's own is a biological need. It's one of the reasons we are on earth. Some people feel the need more strongly than others.
Maybe YOU should think about love for a minute. If you love HIM, and having his own biological child is important to him, maybe you should let him go.
Adoption is NOT for everyone. |
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anastasia beaverhausen-the real1
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he does NOT want to adopt.
leave it at that. |
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Davis S
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i think that you should look REALLY deep in your heart and find that out yourself. i mean honestly, why ask us about YOUR future? and if you REALLY want to know what's gonna happen, i'd say ask a professional psychic/divinator. Oh wait, i happen to be one. oh wait, i happen to have my tarot cards on hand! *turns to the cards a moment*
I say that you'd end up in a big deal of sadness. in the end of your relationship, you would have a DEEP sense of regret for it and end up wishing you were more... wise about who you chose. so, i'd tread with care when you walk back into this relationship. Hope this helps! ^_^ |
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firsttofight19
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you probably here this alot, but go with your gut instinct, it is ALWAYS right, it may get confused with paranoia sometimes, but you will know when its the gut talking to you. If you love him, try to really get it out of him somehow, and have a serious talk, if you think its worth it, then go for it, but if you have any doubt it will be a waste of time, then you REALLY CAN find better. |
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Crucio
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I would find a man who was ok and wants to adopt too. Your current boyfriend seems to have made perfectly clear that he does not want to adopt. At the most you should sit down with him and ask why his sudden change of heart. If he is only adopting in order to keep you. That is not a good reason to adopt that's not even a good reason to have children biolgoical. The child(ren) you one day adopt should be wanted by both you and whomever is your husband. If you don’t think that he is sincere about his turnaround regarding adopting then I recommend parting ways with this man and finding a man who again is going to be ok and want to adopt. You can always if you want adopt as a single parent. If you love this man a lot then you may have to give up having children. |
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Don't Trickle on Me
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He told you the desires of his heart--he doesn't want to adopt.
You told him the desires of your heart--you would consider adoption.
You two are not a match.
However, why does it matter so much? Are you aware that you have some reproductive problem that makes it likely you will be unable to conceive or carry a baby? If not, I guess I don't get what the big deal is--most people are able to have their own children. |
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Lucy Deana
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adoption isnt for everyone.
so what if its not for him?
leave it.
if your serious about him, you would listen and respect his wishes. |
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ntanutha15min
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I say you have to follow your heart. However in rare cases we know that he may be sincere. It depends on his personality and his track record so to speak with issues. If he has been true to his word then I would not question it. If he has not been....Here is what I say ...WE KEEPZ IT MOVIN ! |
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