Help me...i need to make my mom loosen up! and another question about adoption has something to do with my?
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Help me...i need to make my mom loosen up! and another question about adoption has something to do with my?
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ITS LONG BUT PLEASSSEEEEE READ!
ok so my mom is VERY strict with me..like i have no idea why...i dont go and party late...or come home drunk
nothing like that...im just a typical girl trying to go out and have fun!
but my mom...wow she kills it.
lol i know thats mean.
but she is sooo strict i want to go out and she lets me..but she calls every other minute!
i want to go walk to the corner so my friend can pick me up.
NOO she wants to meet her parents
i want to walk to some apartments not far from here...maybe like 3 mintues away!....walking
and she says no she drives me!
she wont let me spend the night at nobodys house (friends)
i went to a party and she actually wanted to get off and walk me to the party.
and she doesnt let me go out as much!
like if i go out friday on saturday she will say no you already went out yesterday!
and it pisses me off....BADD!!!!
and i wanted to know what can i tell her to let her know im not a little girl anymore that she shouldnt be so protective.
i want to tell her something that will make her and make her realize im not a little girl anymore why is she so strict.
and also she always thinks bad
if i want to spend the night at a friends house she says no because they might set you up to try to rape you or do something(she's heard stories about girls being setup and killed,raped..etc..)
so she thinks bad now and wont let me go out
and i want to know what to tell her(someone answer this)
and tell me.
what to tell her.and make her realize or ask her why does she always think badd why does she never let me go out.
and this friday i want to go to some friends house and she already said no!
but she has let me go b4 she just claims its dangerous with her fam!
ugghhh i dont get it please tell me what to tell her to make her realize or make her think dammm i am to strict with her!
i love her to death but i have HAD it with the strictness!
by the way
im a 15 yr old girl
im the baby
and my mom has already lost her older son(my brother)
to violence...(he was killed)
maybe thats why shes soo strict??
but she claims that he's a guy and im a girl ....thats why she let him get away with stuff.
im really tired of all this and i want to tell her all this but omg please someone help me put it in words that how i have said before will make her realize that shes being to strict!!!!!!!
ohh and my other question is.
that if my mom DOESNT put me up for adoption;
but i dont want to live with her anymore.
im 15
and i want my bestfriends parents to adopt me.
can they do that?
and there willing to adopt me too?
or will they put me in a foster home and i'll have to go with fam?
whats the deal.
cause u have had her strictness and i want to move out!!!!
unless someone helps me put it in good words what i asked in the first question.
please answer both!
serious questions please im fed up...with this...(my moms strictness)
so please serious answers on what i can actually tell her...no cussing.
please,thanks,god bless.
Additional Details
thank you;
that helps.
yes she lost my brother he was 19.
but this was in i think 1995 or 1996
but i know she still has that pain =/
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realmom lese
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I'm sorry for the loss of your brother. Without a doubt, that would make me become an overprotective mother and stricter on my surviving kids. This is probably something your Mom HAS to do to continue to survive herself.
Losing you to adoption, would push your mother over the edge. Losing two children would take a heavy toll on her and would take her to her knees. You really need to rethink this. This would be a very cruel thing to do.
You are at the age when you want more independence, and because of your brothers death, this is a very frightening thing for your mother. You need to be gentle with her. You need to act mature and accept her for who she is, and let her call the shots for now. When you allow that, and do it respectfully, some of the trust issues will go away naturally. Your mother will ease up. If you want to make a point with her, do it maturely. This will show your mom you are not just throwing a tantrum.
When the time is right, write your mother a letter. Not when you are angry. Tell her that you want more independence and that you think she is too strict, and explain why and HOW it makes you feel when she is strict. Use "I" feel statements so you are not accusing her. Give her compromises to work with. Maybe if you offer her something, she will give you something back. You can start negotiating for things in the letter, little things at first. If you follow through with promises, her fear will ease up.
I hope this helps. God bless you too. |
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sam22254
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She is worried about what might happen to you after what happened to your brother. I'm sorry for your lost. She doesn't mean to be the way she is. Tell her but I doubt that will help. I always checked on my children. Explain all this to your friends mom and I bet when she talks to them that she will open up to you spending the night. By the way did you see the little girl on the news that was just going down the street to play with her friend they found her in a suitcase dead. This world is getting crazy. just have faith and all will work out. |
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sizesmith
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Wow, you actually have a lot of freedom at 15. I never went to parties until I was married. Face facts, you are a little girl still in many ways. The only way you'd be able to be adopted by someone else is if your mother allowed it, and I doubt she would, and I think it'd be selfish of you to ask. Your mother might be overprotective, however, it's with good reason-there are many dangers out there.
To earn more freedom, tell your mom that you are aware there are dangers out there, and you are going to protect yourself, like not drinking anything but sodas (etc) that you bring yourself, and never leave your sight for someone to put something in one. You should travel with a friend to go to any party, even when you're in your 30's, as there are bad people out there, and pretty girls get picked on easily.
Your mom cares about you is the reason she watches you, and the reason she's careful to know who you're with, and what you're doing. Social services would never take you away for the behavior you've described here, however, your mother would probably get some support for herself.
I wish you luck, and one day, when you're a parent yourself, you'll thank your mom for her behavior now, although you'll probably thumbs down me, and call me a liar until you're 25. |
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AdoreHim
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If I was your mother, and had lost a son to violence, I would be just as protective of you. I honestly don't believe she is doing this to annoy you. She just cares enough about you not to lose you as well. And about wanting to be adopted by another family. Don't even bring this up to your mom- do you think she should go through another loss? Not the same type of loss, but just as devastating. Do you think that a foster home would be better than the one you have now? Even if that family would be willing to adopt you, do you honestly think you should leave your mother, that loves you?
I am very sorry for the loss of your brother- this must be very hard for you as well as your mom. Let me ask you a question- do you think "running" away to another family is going to cause you not to grieve, and your mom to stop grieving over her loss?
I truly do understand that you would wish she not be as strict with you. I was raised by very strict parents myself- actually they adopted me. As I look back at my upbringing, I am more thankful now that I am a middle aged adult and have a 17 and 20 year old.
Have you actually shared anything with your mom? Tell her how you feel, but as you do, understand how hard it would be to be any different, since she lost a son, and you lost a brother. She wants to protect her daughter from the same thing that happened to him. Don't consider leaving the home. |
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