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entidtil
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If you mean you are thinking about putting your unborn baby up for adoption, Try Catholic or Lutheran Social Services. Good luck ! |
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Heather B
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Good lord! You are setting yourself up to be pounced upon by the reproductive predators that lurk on the internet
Please go through ethical means to place your baby and don't ever respond to anyone either advertising or soliciting for your baby over the internet
Some reading for you from mothers who have been in your shoes:
http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf
ETA. Please don' t use the legalized baby dumps as suggested by an earlier poster |
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???now what???
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Dear mom,
If you have never had a child before, you may be scared and thinking you won't be able to handle this. That is very normal. Please don't think about it until after you have had the baby. Your baby will inspire you to become everything you never thought possible. My child has been my inspiration for going back to school and making all "A's", something I never did before.
If you have ever lost a pet, favorite toy, or family member and can remember how you grieved, the loss of your child will be that and more. There are no words to describe what you are signing up for.
If your family has turned on you, they will more than likely come around once the baby is born. The man who got you pregnant will have to pay child support.
Just a quick note, "open" adoption is not legally binding. I have been through it. They will toss that term around, but after the child legally becomes someone else's, you have no rights. No attorney will represent you and your pleas to see pictures of your child will fall on deaf ears.
I have to go, I might add more later. Feel free to email. |
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PhilM
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Whatever you decide to do, please don't drop your baby off at a firestation or some other drop site. Give your child at least the chance of discovering his or her heritage. If you care about your child at all, you won't drop it off somewhere.
Please look into counseling. Is there some reason you cannot care for the child? Is there a family member that might be able to help you or care for the child temporarily while you deal with whatever problems you are struggling through? There may be resources available to help you that you are unaware of.
If you must put the child up for adoption (for whatever reason), you can demand that the adoption be open (but, I should say, this is not legally enforceable and there are cases where adoptive family closes the adoption after it's finalized). You may not be thinking about these issues (which is why counseling is important here), but your child may very well want to know where he or she came from. If you care about this child, you should do all you can to make this possible.
If at all possible, don't make this decision until after the child is born. Don't commit to anything until after birth. See your child. Hold your child. Then, when you have had that chance, if you have to make your decision, at least you'll know what you're giving up.
Good luck to you. |
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Lillie
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Whatever you choose, I wish you and your baby the best.
My mother gave me up and she and I have both never recovered from the pain and grief, even after 34 years. I hope you fully investigate the ramifications of losing your child, both to you AND your baby. This isn't something you can do and just walk away from and go on with life as if it never happened.
If you contact an agency now, they'll never stop hounding you until they get your baby... |
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sunny
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http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.babyscoopera.com
A study of adoption:
http://www.angelfire.com/or/originsnsw/wendys_pres.html |
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Ghost Writer Rides Again
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In response to one person saying that you will be a hero.....You will only be a hero until the ink dries and then you will be forever deemed unfit to have more children. People will never understand your decision and some will think you are scum of the earth.
If this is your first child..... RESEARCH!!!!!!!!! Sunny posted some great links. Research your state's laws in regards to how long you have to change your mind (never believe what you are told by an attorney or agency). Please, please, PUH-lease, make sure this is what you really want to do. Don't fall for the "open adoption" scam.....you will be told everything you want to hear until YOUR baby is legally someone else's and then all promises made to you will be nothing more than crap talk. Not all adoptive parents are like this, but there are enough of them.
Take a shot at trying to raise your little one. Give it a few months, if you can. Then see if you are really unprepared for raising a baby.
***edit****
Not having the financial means is not a good enough reason to relinquish. That is why many of us say that adoption is a permanent solution to what is usually a temporary problem. Look into public assistance.
If you do decide to relinquish, STEER CLEAR OF RELIGIOUSLY AFFILIATED AGENCIES! They are under the firm belief that single mothers are unfit to raise their children and push adoption like nobody's business. Also, this is not your decision alone. TALK TO THE BABY'S FATHER IF HE IS IN THE PICTURE. CONTACT HIS FAMILY AND LET THEM KNOW. If you are unwilling or incapable of parenting, allow the child to be raised by the father's fam is they want to. Or even your family. |
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Sophie
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I'm sure you've thought about it all... but remember that no matter what your age or where you live, there is help out there for you if you truly want to raise your child. If you really don't want to be a parent, and for sure can't offer your child a safe place to live and grow, then you are a great Mom for making an adoption plan. You can call your local social services office to find out what to do to make an adoption plan or get assistance (financial, medical). You can search the internet for adoption agencies. This is a tough decision. I wish you the best. |
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snowwillow20
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I gave my daughter up in 1972, I lived a lie and the secret almost killed me. I found her in 2001 and I thank God every day for our reunion. I went through an agency. Giving her up was a very hard thing to live with. Before you do something so permanent, think about how you can keep your baby not about how you can give her up. |
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Crucio
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You might want to get some counseling first but don’t go to an adoption agency just get your phone book out and look up counseling. You can’t sign your rights over till the baby is born. So what you might consider doing is have the baby placed in temporary foster care for 2 to 4 weeks. Then if you still want to have the baby adopted then you can sign your rights away and a suitable family will be found for the baby. The baby would stay with its foster family in till a family was found.
It would also be nice if you provided a packet of medical information and heritage, maybe a photo or two of yourself, some of your likes and dislikes. Then this way the baby parents would have some medical information and would also have some other information that they could share with the child if and when they would like it.
I would also like to ask where the biological father is in all this, as he would have to ok the adoption as well. |
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GEE-GEE
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I am waiting to adopt a second child. The agency I use is great. They can help answer all your questions, and even give you free counseling etc. Their website is www.adoptionhelp.org
If your serious about adopting out your baby, you can check out my website as well. www.4babyallen.com |
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upnorthwimom
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You have many options (in my humble opinion):
1.) You can find many profiles of parents waiting to adopt online. I would recommend this if you want to choose who is going to adopt your child. (for example, parentprofiles.org or just google/search "adoption".
2.) You could go to adoptionattorneys.org and see if there is a lawyer near where you live to assist you in the adoption.
3.) You could look up Adoption in the phone book or call Lutheran Social Services or Catholic Services.
4.) I'm sure you could speak with the social worker at the hospital when you give birth and she would also assist you.
Remember, if you do decide to place your child for adoption, it can be an open adoption if you want it to be; meaning you would receive pictures, letters or updates if you wanted them. Or, you can choose not to.
Trust me, there are thousands of parents out there who are unable to have children and are just waiting and praying to adopt a child. I know because I am one of them! But, whatever you do, don't rush into anything. The best option for every child (pretty much always) is for their biological mother to raise them. But if parenting is absolutely not an option, or if the child would be in grave danger, neglected, etc.. adoption is choosing life and that is an awesome and precious gift; to not only your child but to yourself!
I agree that you should receive independant counceling, apart from an adoption agency before making a decision. |
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tmt0568
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It really depends on where you are and what you are looking for, if anything, out of the adoption. If you are wanting to maintain contact with the birthparents, I would advise a lawyer. Additionally, most lawyers, if they are any good, will get you counseling to help you figure out if adoption is right for you. If you are in the midwest, Kirsh and Kirsh is a really good law firm. I would also be careful of using facilitators. A lot of states don't allow them and that would limit your options. If you go with an agency, thoroughly check them out. Many of them will promise you the moon, collect a huge fee from the adoptive parents, and then forget about you. There are some good ones, though. I have heard that Gladney in Texas is good. Good luck. |
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Tom
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Can you give us an idea why you wish to adopt just before your term comes due?? |
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looking to adopt
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Ultimately the decision is up to you..
I've been looking into adoption agencies to adopt a child, and have yet to find one.
I personally think that if a mother is going to give up her child for adoption, she may want to consider finding a family to adopt her child..... Those are the types of services that myself and my husband are looking for to adopt ourselves.... If you are interested in talking more, you can email me. |
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Dea
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Do you mean that you want to put your baby up for adoption? If so, contact a local adoption agency, they will help you. |
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perfectionist
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try contacting the social services department of your area, they will refer you to an adapotion agency |
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EM J
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u need to contact ur local social services dept, ask ur midwife, make sure i discuss it throughly before making ur decision. good luck x |
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aelp
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Please contact a local agency. There are so many couples out there that would love to adopt, but they can't afford the big time agencies because it is just too expensive. |
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bodmodangel
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Look in the phone book. Go and speak to all adoption agencies in your area. The agency that may be right for you may not be right for someone else. Depends what you are looking for (open or closed adoption). Just go speak with them and you pick the one that best fits your needs. |
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De
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talk to your Dr or preacher or social services to help you decide the best place for you in your area |
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Honey
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Why do you want to put up your baby for adoption. You should give him a chance at least. You shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place. |
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Mar
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I just adopted a beautiful baby girl. The agency I used is American Adoptions. Their website is www.americanadoptions.com
Please email me, I have more info that may help you. |
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Nichola H
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congratulations on the pregnancy . wow i think your so brave putting the baby's needs first its not easy to give you re baby up . i was adopted when i was only 4 weeks old and had a really good life .so i would say go for it there is plenty off people out there like me who can not have kids its good to give them a chance to be a mum and dad |
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meghananne23
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Hi and (((((((((HUGS))))))))!
I know this is not an easy decision. Adoption is a very loving choice - you'll be a hero!
Here's an adoption/pregnancy hotline to call: 1-800-592-4725. They will help you and not judge you at all.
Thank-you for considering the wonderful choice of adoption!!!! |
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LC
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We used adoptionattorneys.org
Make sure that you interview with more than one. |
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Grant Ray came on 12/8/08!
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If you are serious, you need to contact a Catholic Adoption Agency in your area. Even if you aren't catholic, they have a ton of families that want babies, that can't have them. Or they can get you in touch with the right adoption agency for you. |
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Me
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i think u mean set ur baby up 4 adoption.
LOl i was like y the hell do u wanna adopt ur own baby?
anywayz just go google its proberly much more useful to just type it in urself. |
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movienutb
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you can drop your baby off at a fire station or a hospital no questions asked.
if your sure thats what you want to do.
My Mom can't have another baby and I know she would do anything to have another one.
So just make sure you really think about it first. |
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steve
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adoption you will regret it all your life and getting your baby back is very hard and expensive if at all posibble look to foster make shure your baby has a full name and keeps it for life.dont let any body religious take it from you .find a good foster service and dont be fobed off it will give you time to sort yourself out best wishes |
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