How Does the Adoption Process Happens? Please Answers?

cantstopLinnyG

You are not cruel, you are in a difficult situation. I have to say though, that you will crack under pressure when you hold your baby, because nature is very powerful. :)

I was once in your shoes. It is scary. But please know that you can do this, and even have your parents to help you. That is awesome!! Your baby does not want to be raised by strangers...only by YOU.

Please do NOT give your child up for adoption. The pain will last an entire lifetime, for you and YOUR BABY.

Please read the facts about adoption and how it will more than likely affect YOUR BABY and YOU. If you decide to continue with your pregnancy, your child deserves to be loved and raised by YOU. Adoption does NOT guarantee a better life, only a different one.

Also, do NOT contact anyone who has asked you to, or who has emailed you already. They are greedy vultures who want to make money off your baby, or want that baby for themselves.

Here are some links that can help you.

http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index....
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZGwqHVnKs
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php

Books:
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton
The Adopted break Silence by Jean Paton
The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler
Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky
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Nice Girl from the corner house

PLEASE, DON'T PUT YOUR BABY UP FOR ADOPTION. For the baby's sake and your sake!

If you do decide to, you'll regret it everyday and you'll think about the baby every minute, every birthday, every christmas, you name it..
As you said, your parents are financially secure so that will be an advantage to you and you're gonna be a young mom, so the baby will have an even better advantage, you might be more fit and energetic and let's face it, you'll probably be around a little longer too! You'll be able to advice your baby about situations like these, when they're a teen too.

Putting your baby up for Adoption is a cruel decision, especially, when you're financially and physically able to look after a child.

Worlds Best Mother

I wouldn't slam you for it. If you feel that you can't properly look after a baby then the most loving and unselfish thing you can do is to give it up for adoption. A child deserves parents who are capable of properly caring for it. That said my first child was born when I was 17, even though I was young there was no other reason to give her up-but I did have the financial and emotional support of my husband.
It's really up to you, if you definitely want to give up the baby for adoption then you should think about it. Sorry I don't know any sites for you but I just wanted to say good luck with whatever you decide.

realmom lese

Cantstop is right. Your baby wants YOU. No one else. Losing you will be a huge trauma that he/she will carry for life. You have support. Use it.

When you chose adoption, you will feel that loss forever. You will miss all the wonderful things kids do. Your heart will break over and over. The regrets will never leave you, in fact, the regrets grow as your child grows somewhere in the world without you.

You need to do some serious research into adoption. It is NOT the wonderful Hallmark movie like people seem to think. It is not the "right" option or a better option. YOU are the best option period for your baby.

I placed a child for adoption and she was abused terribly by the people I entrusted her to. Though this is not the norm, it can and does happen.

I was also promised an open adoption. I found out the hard way, that open adoptions are not legally enforceable. An adoption can be closed and you have no recourse at all. Adoption agencies and adoptive parents will make these promises then as soon as you sign over your baby......they will slam the door in your face. Like they did to me.

You already care deeply about this life, so do some careful research into the long term effects of adoption on mothers and children. Separation of the two is traumatic, and tragic.

Do not go to an adoption agency for advice or counseling. They will tell you whatever they want to get your baby. It is not about people to them, it is about money.

Do not talk to Potential Adoptive Parents. They want your baby! Do not talk to anyone that has anything to gain by you placing your child for adoption.

Talk to real life people who have experienced this, adoptees and natural mothers. Talk to moms that are not freshly experiencing their loss, but have some time under their belts. Because if you choose adoption, you will become one of us and be one of us forever. Believe me, it is a horrible experience, and a slow torture not being with your child.

Best of luck.

kitta

I agree with "Can't stop" and the OPs, who have already answered. Adoption might seem logical, but the pain and loss from adoption will be with you forever.

And no one cannot predict the outcome for your child, if your child were to be adopted. Once the child is adopted, you have no control over your child's situation.

The fall-out from family loss goes on for generations.

There is no guarantee of stability in an adoptive family.Adoption, itself, causes stresses.

You are not stupid. Don't dump on yourself. You are your child's mother, and if your family can help you, please consider raising your child as an option.

Michelle

hi i don,t think your cruel some time thing get so hard we don,t know know were to turn . if we did not have adoption like me would never be parents . i have been looking at so many adoptions sites but it cost so much money that i can not affored it im 38 years old married and all i want it to give my hasband a family and to be a mother i get upset every day knowing this is not going to happen i have been trying for 14 years i know that i would be a wonderful mum and i knowthat me and my husband have so much love to give. i guess what im trying to tell you is have a really good think about what you want out of you life not what people are tell you to do if you want to keep the baby or if you want to adopt. my heart feels for you it is a big choice but your heart will make the right choice for you and your baby . from michelle

cynchyaa

If you do not feel you will be a good mother, and personally do not feel ready, you may be right. You may want to have a baby with someone you marry when you are ready. If you will have regrets and feel like you got stuck with this situation, you will never be happy and this can reflect on your parenting.

People who adopt babies have to go through a pretty big process. My mom said she would have rather given birth 10 times over than go through the court issues to finally get me. These are people who are ready for a baby and really want one. As someone who is adopted, I say that I am glad I am with parents who fought for me than with someone who wasn't sure if she could handle it.

Do what you feel is best for you, all these outside opinions are nice, but you need to do what you feel is right for you.

Good luck!

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