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How can I get a baby without going through the adoption agency?
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How can I get a baby without going through the adoption agency?

I have 2 little boys of my own, but I keep running into signs that is saying I should adopt a baby. I went to this website and there were many young girls who were trying to get rid of their baby. They do not want to go through the courts. They just want to drop the baby off and call it quits. There are many young women out there who do not have anyone to turn to for help and they end up hurting themselves and/or the baby. I want to be the person who reaches out to them. I want to be the one they can trust and know that everything will be okay, but how do I do this without dragging them through the courts as well?? A lot of them say they don't want to go through that part. I just want to help at least one child who deserves a life.
Additional Details
I think a lot of people are misunderstanding what my intentions were. I am not attempting to seperate mothers from their child or use this as a personal gain in my life. I have children and can have more. I was trying to see if there was a way to stop the babies from being thrown away or being abandoned because their parents are scared. I know their are plenty options out there for these women, however, not everyone takes those options into consideration. There are babies still being found abandoned by their parents. I was hoping there would have been another way to make it so they were not as scared as they are. I have read all of your answers and will take all of your advice by not persuing this idea. I just want to make sure that everyone understands that this was not for my personal need. I was hoping there was another option to keep at least ONE child from being hurt again.


    




cantstopLinnyG
Rating
Ummm, there are no websites where there are "many young girls who are trying to get rid of their babies". No way. I dare you to post the link. If it does say that, then it's a scam to get money from pap's. babies are a hot commodity, and that's why there is such a high price on their little heads.

You cannot "go through this w/o dragging them through the courts". You have 2 babies of your own. If you want another one, have another one, or become a foster parent. Foster kids are the ones who "need help".

***ETA**** No one is misunderstanding your intentions. The title of your question says it all: How can I get a baby without going through the adoption agency. Buh.Bye.


aloha.girl59
Rating
I think your heart is in the right place but you're going about this the wrong way.

You say you want to "be the person who reaches out to them." You can do that by helping to support a woman and her child rather than separating them through adoption. If what you REALLY want is to reach out, don't take the women's babies from them. HELP them. Adoption is a permanent solution to what is usually a temporary problem (youth, lack of income, etc.). Everyone who has a baby at a young age gets older. Most people who have babies when they don't have much money get jobs/better jobs and are able to support themselves eventually. If what you REALLY want to do is help out, then do it. Just don't take the women's babies away from them.

I'd be interested in seeing this website you mentioned. I want to know if it's legit. Doesn't sound like it to me. It sounds like something an adoption agency -- an agency that makes a ton of cash from 'helping' women find parents for their children -- would put up. Going this route will cause heartache for everyone involved...even you. It's unethical and illegal. If you REALLY want to help, offer support. If you REALLY want to adopt, don't do it this way. Go the legal route...through Child and Family Services in your area. There are thousands of children in this country who need love and places to live. Help one of THEM.


Anha S
If you want to help, turn to foster care. Why would you put yourself in the position to be scammed, or be part of a practice that could largely be interpreted as coercive? If you must adopt, foster care is full of children who's parent's rights have been terminated are in real need of a home.


BLW_KAM
Curious,
The website sounds suspicious. Natural parents have papers to sign, but they don't generally need to appear in court. Also, many states have safe haven laws which allow a mother to leave her baby at approved locations with no questions asked and no repercussions.

Does this site talk about fees? If it does, you might be looking at some sort of store front for an attorney or child nappers.

You need to research the site very carefully and figure out exactly what you're look at. My feelers are way up.


grapesgum
Please share and post the link to your web site of the girls who want to get rid of their babies. There are a lot of infant hungry people here on Y!A who would appreciate it. It would also take some email pressure off the young women who post here only wanting advice on how to cope with parenting through an unplanned pregnancy and get mobbed by people who can't find the web sites that you know about.

Babies who are abandoned by their parents are usually snapped up right away because for every adoptable infant there at least 50 waiting families.

If you are serious about wanting to help give a child a home then call your local social services agency and ask about older children who are in need.


DevonChaos
You go about it the RIGHT WAY. Coercing a mother who is in a bad situation isn't morally right. If you want another child, have one. Do these girls a favor by staying away from them. They need someone to help them raise their own child, not take it for their own gain.

Very few babies are actually abandoned like that. These girls don't need you. They need an other kind of help. Someone who is looking out for THEIR best interests, not looking after their own.

Oh, and you don't GET a baby. You have a baby, raise a baby, love a baby, care for a baby... You GET a car, a home, a new purse, shoes... a clue...

It just isn't right. If you want to adopt, go through to state for Foster Care. Otherwise, have your own.


Opedial
Well there is always kidnapping, but the consequences are severe.

In fact if you don the private adoption you don't know if the children have been kidnapped or the parents coerced etc.

What signs say that you have to adopt? It seems that the people who need help in your scenario are the First mothers. If they could turn to you then perhaps you could help them choose to parent.

Perhaps instead of adoption you could:

Foster

Work at planned parenthood and give choices to young women, including community supports to raise their children

Volunteer at children crisis centres

Volunteer at women's organization

etc. etc.

I am sure your heart is in the right place, but rest assured that the healthy babies are not the ones out there who are in need of parents, there are many people waiting and hoping for these infants. Adding more people waiting for an infant is not going to help. Adopting an older child will help. Assisting young mothers will help. With two boys of your own, you are busy and bless you for having your heart wanting to help, but adopting a child is not "helping", it is getting a child. You are getting the gift, not the child.


jmw801_2003
get pregnant because your way will bring way to much trouble down on you


maybe
Rating
"I was trying to see if there was a way to stop the babies from being thrown away or being abandoned because their parents are scared"

Yes, because there are abandoned babies everywhere! The safe havens are overflowing with babies! (not).


kateiskate
The easiest and simplest way to do so is to have one yourself.


mom of many
Rating
it has to go thru court. There is no way to adopt a child without a home study and to go to court.


Heather B
What you are suggesting is known as Blackmarket Adoption


pollydog3
Rating
Maybe you should look where you're going.


ms.smilesalot
Depending on where you live, there are state departments of children and families. My brother and his wife just adopted two young boys whose mother could no longer take care of them. Try going through your state. Once they adopted the boys, the state paid their medical expenses as well as their college education for the future.


Semper Fi
the problem with that is they can change their minds and come back and take the baby and there would be nothing that you could do about it. The mother and the father must sign away their parental rights. they will come to regret it maybe 5 10 years down the line or less and they can come back and there goes the baby, its better to go through the courts, better for you and the child you are adoptin. you dont need to go through an agency just have them both sign on the dotted line.


Emily H
I think it`s gr8 that u want to adopt a baby! But you should know going to an adoption agency is the process that parents or future parents go through to get another child. It is just another rule in life that should be done properly to get the information that you need.I mean stealing a baby or "buying one" is not really an option> because one day you may need some info to give to doctors or lawyers of some what. don`t make it harder than it already is. just look in ur heart to find the right answer!!!


durdenslabs
Rating
There are safe haven drop offs in many states that a mother can go to and give their baby up. No questions asked, and no court involved.

See if your state has a safe haven location and let these women/girls know about it.

Otherwise they HAVE to go through the legalities and paperwork of giving up their child the right way (not abandoning it).


missy
i wounld love to have a newbron or babygirl i only have 2kids i being trying 2y but thing work who every want to give me there babygirl i will be so happy thank u


kfmartin
Lots of girls want to give babies up for adoption. And I don't think she ask to be put down for having a good heart its not like she wants to kid nap a kid she is talking about adoption here. Most of the young girls that give there babies up don't have any where else to turn and by letting them be adopted both mother and baby get a new life. And unless u have given one up shut up cause it take a strong woman to place her baby up for adopt and a strong one to raise it


kfmartin
Lots of girls want to give babies up for adoption. And I don't think she ask to be put down for having a good heart its not like she wants to kid nap a kid she is talking about adoption here. Most of the young girls that give there babies up don't have any where else to turn and by letting them be adopted both mother and baby get a new life. And unless u have given one up shut up cause it take a strong woman to place her baby up for adopt and a strong one to raise it


kfmartin
Lots of girls want to give babies up for adoption. And I don't think she ask to be put down for having a good heart its not like she wants to kid nap a kid she is talking about adoption here. Most of the young girls that give there babies up don't have any where else to turn and by letting them be adopted both mother and baby get a new life. And unless u have given one up shut up cause it take a strong woman to place her baby up for adopt and a strong one to raise it


Nikita Taylor
You know there is so many baby's who would just like to have a home. Then you get parents who would really just like to have a child. Why make a company rich and you must wait for how many years just to hear from them. By that time there was 'n mother who would have given her child to a loving home. But coulden't wait. And now the baby must die. I'm verry sorry in South Africa you wil wait up to 5 years just to addopt a baby. So if any one out there can help me, I'm looking for a little baby girl, and is prepared to pay medical to the mother while pregnant. Please contact me!!!!





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