How can an adult adoption be done while still married?

My biological father and his 2nd wife are currently on my birth certificate and my father's entire family has made my life a living hell for the past 23 years. I would like to do an adult adoption, but I'm married. My mom has re-married to a nice guy and I would like for my mom and him to do an adult adoption for me and they have agreed. My only thing is I want my mom's maiden name as my maiden name. It would make my initials spell NEW, like new beginnings. How would I go about doing this. I was born in VA, my last adoption was done in CT, I currently live in AK, and my mom lives in NY. Not sure if that was necessary to list, but any information I can obtain about this would be wonderful.

julie j

Hi Nicoleelaine85,

This should not be difficult at all. You want to be adopted. Your mother & her husband want to adopt you. All of you are adults. There will not be any homestudies involved. It will not take long. It will not be very expensive. You do not need any former parents' permission either.

From what I understand, a spouse may need to formally acknowledge that they are aware of the other spouse's adoption. Being married does not disqualify you from being adopted as an adult.

As for changing your name at that time, that is up to you. There is no law that says any adoptees must take the last name of the adopters. In the case of children, it is the AP's choice, and they usually choose to change the child's name to match their own. It is up to the adult adoptee if they want to change their name at that time or not.

To get started, I would suggest contacting an attorney in your area who specializes in family law. Good luck, New :)

julie j
reunited adoptee

BOTZ

There are two things I can tell you that I'm sure of. First, Adoptions are under state jurisdiction, so the Adoption would officially be handled by NY, because (strange as it may sound for adult adoption) the state that finalizes is the state where the parents live, even if the 'child' is an adult. :-)

Second, there are a handful of states that don't allow adult adoptions, but MOST DO.

I have been involved in a few (less than 10) adult adoptions in my state (Utah) and have researched them extensively here. Each state has their own rules. For example, a certain age difference must exist between the adopter and the adoptee. As this is your mother, I doubt there would be a problem for you.

In my state, for a married adult to be adopted, the spouse of the adoptee must sign off...so, for you, that would be your husband -- if it's required in your case.

Also, they look at the reason for the desired adoption and whether there already exists a 'familial' relationship between the parties. In your case, again, this would work in your favor.

To do some initial research on the rules for you situation, I'd suggest you do an internet search (with Google, for instance) on the rules for NY and AK. I don't think where you were born or previously adopted would have any bearing on your current situation -- but that's just my opinion.

A quick Google search returned the sites listed in "source" below. There were many more, but I went to these and they look like they might be helpful.

Best of Luck!

Jonas J

who cares...if u insist contact the officials

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