How do I adopt blood relatives in another state?
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How do I adopt blood relatives in another state?
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I live in Florida and my nephew has 2 small children that were taken away by the state of New Hampshire. They will be avaliable for adoption in April when the parents rights are scheduled to be terminated. They live in a foster home now and there is talk that the foster mom is looking to adopt them. I have contacted the Family Services Dept via email asking them to contact me and letting them know I am interested in adoption. (I intend to follow up with a call on Monday, they were not open when I emailed them). Can family services here in Fla help me on my end? I know I will need an attorney to draw up and file papers for me. I don't want these children to lose touch with their parents forever. My children are grown and I have plenty of love, time and patience for these 2. thanks so much!!! Additional Details I have known since last April that these children were in foster care. The parents were given things to do to assure the return of the children. they have not done anything. I told the grandmother I would take these 2. she has contact w/the caseworker because she has had custody of 2 of their older children for 5 years. she told me the caseworker said they wanted to put the children into a 2 parent home. I took her at her word. I just found out that the foster mom is looking to adopt them. She is single. NO 2 parent home there. come to find out the grandmother just wanted to keep all the children in the same area so they could maintain contact w/ her and their siblings. the parents never physically abused the children. they were neglected, dirty, stuff like that. As for contact with the parents if I get to adopt these children, I meant when they get older they can decide if they'd like to meet them. I would not do anything foolish to harm the children.
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♥♥Rita♥♥
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First, you need to be aware you will have to do more than call. You may have to hire an attorney in New Hampshire and may need to file a motion to intervene in the juvenile AND adoption case. If the children have been with their foster parent for longer than 6-12 months, you may not have a leg to stand on so to speak without hiring an attorney......
In my experience, when there are children in one state and interested, prospective kinship family in another state, the children's state would send a request through Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) to the other state (New Hampshire to Florida) and there would be a request for a home study. Once the study was completed the state (FL) would either approve or deny placement based on the findings of the study. If placement is approved, then NH would decide to either place or not.
Did NH ever contact you as potential placmeent for your grand nephews as children area also placed out of state in foster care placement?? If not, then they were remiss and you may be able to fight on the end......but rest assured, this will probably get as ugly as you have money to fight it.
At any rate, this MUST go through ICPC.....if it does not, then it is illegal. All fifty states recognize ICPC and all agree to work within the realms of it.....it is a treaty and deals exclusively with children and the placement of children across state lines.....
If I were you, I would start calling the local office in NH and ask to speak to the chidlren's worker, then I would ask to speak to the supervisor, then I would ask to speak to whoever is in charge of that supervisor.....and move up the chain if you do not get the answer you desire. I would almost bet, you will end up having to get an attorney in NH to help with this if the foster parents are serious about adopting and if the state desides to not heed your request for placement of your family members.
Take care...and good luck!!
ALSO.....keep records of every contact you make in NH from phone calls, to letters, to emails......it may come in handy if an attorney is needed.
ETA:
For all of the previous answers who beleive STATES do not place with KIN becasue of some kind of MONEY involved with placeing with STRANGERS.......you all are not very well informed. In my job ...MOST of the placements I do are with KIN.....
Money which comes in to the state to run the adoption programs is not divided by how many are placed with KIN and how many are with STRANGERS....bunch a rap there.
Also, when a family member is not looked in to....it happens for a number of reasons. Either family members are not found and the natural parents do not give up names of family/ workers are too lazy to look in to family out of state becasue of the volumous amounts of red tape involved/ or when family is found the family is considered to be inappropriate.
When children are left in the care of foster parents for a length of time (and I have seen a lot of sympathizers here who lament to leave children where they are familiar with their care givers even though they may have been denyed their very own natural parents..etc), then foster parents are given great consideration by courts when it comes to permanent placement. The courts are a bit behind in times when realizing the impact to chidlren when placed with kin and family.....a positive impact.
I have to LMAO at the answers that navigate back to the money supposedly received by the government for doing "UNORTHODOX" things with children such as denying them their connection to their kin and family.
A lot of biases out there......and propaganda.
ETA:
I do not negate that some sort of BONUS program exists where states are given incentives for placing children....but it does not offer incentives for the sole purpose of placing children with NON family members.....that is B.S. and not more money for non relatives than relatives. If anything, the government pushes relatives becasue they are really starting to push search programs within the agencies.
Also, I have read more than once that workers get a bonus for every adoption...that is bull too.
ALSO.....foster parents and KINSHIP foster parents have the same requirements.......as I said already, I do way more kinship placements, next I place more childrne with thier foster parents. Why, well......we now realize it is better to make the first placement the best placement to minimize moves........in that link posted about the BONUS programs, no where does it differentiate between foster and kinship. They are one in the same.
BTW......I am not going to take the time to look it up, but I believe the Federal definiation of a child with special needs is any child adopted from foster care as they have been determined to not be able to return to their parents own home. I may be wrong and if so, I am sure someone will correct me. My agency conisiders every foster child a special needs child.......so we get BONUSES for all children we place.....imagine that. All thumbs down......I stand by what I write. Juvenile...
HappyMom.....did you see in my ETA where I said "I beleive the FEDERAL definition of a special needs child....."....Guess not. Don't assume I am on the side of fence needing to be slammed. Far from it. I take everything I read and learn here and use that in my tool bag at work everyday. I am better for everything I have learned.........I use ChildWelfare.gov much and quote it often.....nothing new. No where did I mention STATE definition......only Federal and as I was on my way out the door I did not take the time to study even that definition. So...correction taken on some point, especially had I been inferring state information. Thanks.
Also, by looking at the defintion of special needs as set forth by MANY of the states, one of the deciding factors is "High Risk of Physical or Mental Disease......." That in my opinion is most if not all children from foster care.
+++++++++++++
Once again....HIGH RISK OF PHYSICAL OR MENTAL DISEASE.......two points there. Physical and/or mental disease.
By leaving it open that foster children who are adopted are at HIGH RISK of such.....then from my point of view families are "protected" and can come back and request assistance if they did not already get it. In my neck of the woods...this happens often because even the perfectly healthy, no chronic issue baby can grow up and develop some fairly significant health or mental issues by the time they reach school age.
Also......every <special needs> child adopted from foster care as being deemed unable to return to their natural homes and will not be adopted without assistance....are eligible for the Federal Adoption Tax Credit. http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc607.html
There again, states may set the definition but in my expereince, every child I have placed in adoptive homes are eligible for the Adoption Tax Credit......
And as I stated and even posted a link to the IRS.....<special needs> child....blah blah.....federal, tax credit blah blah. I don't present anything as FACT....once again, you are quick to jump on a bandwagon of "Know All" while busily tapping out volumes of wordy text.....you adopted, you have a Blog.....cool, but stay off my bandwagon and quit trying to paint it up with your colors. Detecting some testy "INAMATE" attitude there...whatever that mean. Pointed at one who apparently loves to clear a room....lights out.
Back to the original question......
GrapesGurrl....
Don't lump us all in together.......If the foster mother in New Hampshire wants to make waves and the child has been there for a long time, then yes, the Florida Great Aunt better hire an attorney....So LYOURA off all you want. HAd New HAmpshire been doing there job then kin would have been looked at immediately and all through the case and the Florida Aunt wouldn't have to go searching on Y!A for answers. Unfortunately, foster parents are given great consideration by courts even when natural family pops up. The foster parent can petition to adopt outside the juvenile case and if she has a lot of money....well, she may just win. You have but to look on this forum to see the mentality regarding moving children who have been with said foster parents for "so long".....So don't say CPS HATES THOSE PESKY BIO FAMILIES.....In my original fourteen pages of answers....I wrote MOST OF THE CHILDREN I PLACE ARE IN KINSHIP PLACEMENTS.....So, don't throw a blanket over ALL CPS WORKERS.....a child's connection to their kin and family are on the top of my agencies priority. Sorry you have not had that expereince.Oh....and the adoption BONUS you speak of that goes to children who are adopted by foster parents.....no where in AFSA does it specify the state will get MORE money for placing with NON-Kin that with BONAFIDE-Kin....If you read through your own link, you will see that states are given great incentive to place children in kin placements and in reunification programs. Weird you didn't see that.
The Florida aunt who asked the original question would be wise to hire an attorney....I would and I work for the government. I have seen far too many times where foster parents petition the courts on their own and win by adopting their foster child while family is sitting in the wings and at that point all CPS can do is sit on their hands.....First she needs to seek an ICPC home study..... |
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waterbaby424
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I am in the same situation now in Oregon and Alaska. Typically childrens services would rather a child be adopted out to family than to strangers. Call NJ and tell them who you are and that you want to be a reference to provide care for these children when the parents rights are terminated and speak to an attorney. Good Luck! |
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Crucio
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Generally they will try to place with natural family if there is someone that is fit and willing to take the child(ren). As far as their parents depending on why their rights are going to be terminated they may not be allowed to have any contact with the children. They will also look at what’s best for the children. If they have been living with their foster mother for a long time. It could be consider unhealthy to uproot them and have them go live with someone who may be their natural Great Aunt but is basically a stranger. If you can’t get custody of them you might ask their foster/adoptive mother if she would be willing to allow you to have to contact with the children. |
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grapesgum
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You will probably have a fight on your hands. There is a lot of money involved with adoption by strangers. The foster and sometimes the adopting strangers get money, and the social services departments make money from the feds for adoptions by strangers. So they favor stranger adoptions over family members.
Social services departments in some states are getting their hands slapped for violating the rights of children to stay in their natural families. A recent case is in Washington State where grandparents had their granddaughter (who they had helped raise since birth) put into the adoption pool. They nearly lost her but at the last moment the judge found out that social services was lying about the fitness of the single woman who was trying to adopt their granddaughter. Their precious grandchild was put in emergency foster care the night before the hearing because the foster mom had an "emergency" (implications were that the foster mom's ability to care for the girl was questionable). The judge found out and was pissed! The story is here:
http://www.king5.com/topstories/stories/NW_011409INV-ombudsman-child-custody-report-TP.3157895.html
Please don't give up the fight - studies have shown that children are far more likely to thrive with family. There are some amazing foster families who open their hearts to children who don't have family to care for them, but there are also many who are in it for the money.
ETA: Link to the adoption bonus program for states for those who don't believe that it exists:
http://www.cwla.org/advocacy/2008legagenda01.htm
LMOA that an "cw/adoption worker in public agency" is telling you that you need to hire a attorney to assert your rights as blood family. Does that not speak volumes about the corruption of CPS? Want to keep your child in your family? Then be prepared to spend tens of thousands of dollars on an attorney to defend your rights to raise your blood kin. CPS absolutely hates those pesky biological families who stand in the way of getting their federal adoption bonus. |
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mystic_majic_lil_lady
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i wish you a lot of luck. number 1 when a foster family adopts a child or 2 that they have been caring for the dept of human services gets a great chunk of money from the govt for doing it. if a family member adopts then the dept of human services doesnt get a dime.
im talking over a million dollars per child adopted to foster familys.
my husband and i tried to adopt our grand son and no matter how much proof we had against the foster "mom" that she wasnt a fit parent for my grand son the judge still gave him to her. she had taught my grand son we were not his grand parents but told him we were the Visit People... and i say foster mom as she didnt have a husband , but thats another story in it self..
he didnt want to live with his foster mom he wanted to live with us. we spent over 10,000 dollars to an attorney just to find out they were all in cahoots together to drain us dry of cash then when the money was gone so was our grand son. we even lost our right to see him every other weekend and one week night a week inbetween. the judge saw fit to only let us see him one day a month...
they were also afraid that we would allow his dad to see him but we wouldnt have done that if the judge said we couldnt. besides we moved so far away he couldnt have seen him anyway...
so in your question when you said you wanted your grandson not to loose touch with his / her parents that was a bad thing to say...
so again i wish you loads of luck getting him or her as they dept of human services is a greedy branch of the govt and they wont give up on getting that money no matter what it takes to do it.
cheers
mystic
im sorry if this hurts you but its reality. i lived it and my husband and i are a great couple and we would have loved our grand son like he was our own son..thats another thing , dont tell the judge you are his/her grand parent , they want to hear you say parent... mom dad... not grandpa or grandma.. |
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HappyMomAnna
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If you are interested in adopting a family relative then you will be considered a priority over those people who are Not Related. HOWEVER---you will need to step into action and get moving!
YES--do contact your DHS or State adoption office as soon as possible! Let them know your are Relatives of children in Foster Care and you NEED a "Relative or Kinship" Home study done as soon as possible. You want to get this ball rolling yesterday.
The home study will check criminal history, financial stability and the safety of the home you provide. Relative Home studies are "generally" not as stringent as those for non related family.
The states are actually Required to do a Relative Search before placing children into a pre-adoptive home. When the state has found there are no Steps-sisters of 3rd cousins interested and able to adopt a child then the Foster Family is considered as the Next priority as the child is there and it's always better to avoid disruptions.
When you contact the child's caseworker be sure to make it clear you want to be considered as a relative placement.
I MUST Cation you however--if Your intention is to take these children ONLY to insure they don't lose contact with their parents then YOU may not be able to have them placed with you--if the state has determined the Children are not safe with their parents--and that the parents are unfit and have no rights---The LAST place they will send the children is to a home that believes otherwise.
The Caseworkers will Check your motivations. They will ask WHERE WERE YOU when the children entered Foster Care and why you didn't stand up for them when they were first placed?
From the little bit you posted here the Caseworker will have reason to suspect the motivations are Not about the best interest of the children but, about the interests of the parents whom have been or will be determined to be unfit to the point their rights are severed. That is not and will never be a good reason to become a Parent.
If the only reason you would adopt is to maintain the contact you have to consider the states point of view about that issue. The state has taken a point of view the children will be better off "Growing Up" with different parents and it is not a fact that because children grow up with different parents they Never find their bio families.
You might also ask the caseworker if there is any way to set up contact with whomever the adoptive family may be. You have had children--they grew up please remember the most difficult times parenting your children and consider the fact these children have been removed from one home and will be removed from at least one more before they would end up with you.
My husband and I adopted siblings in 2003 when the bio kids were 18-19. Trust ME it is not just about love, time and patience when traumatized children are placed into a new home and given new parents. No matter how related these children have not benefited from the non-stop, love, time and patience you have to share... Add on any possible brain damage caused by alcohol and/or drug use and you will need much more then love, time and patience.
On another note. On of My Aunts "Adopted" three grandchildren and a few years later allowed her son to move into her home. Eventually, he stole her money, took checks and wrote them all over town, then cleaned her home out and ended up being arrested for drugs. The state didn't give my Aunt a second chance to put the three kids at risk again and Our family has lost any and all contact with the children as a result of her "Wanting to keep the children in contact" with their parents.
When we adopt relatives we need to consider the fact that the State Terminated the Parental Rights and in the majority of cases for very good reasons perhaps even reasons you are not aware of. Adopting children in this case--just to maintain contact does Not sound like concern for the Best Interest of the child--but, instead can appear to be for the best interest of the parents.
I would personally, keep that motivation to myself. You will be asked why you didn't come to the rescue of the children when the Entered Foster Care as that is generally the point where family members step up and take the children. It will be viewed negatively if you KNEW these children were in care and didn't jump up with the love, time and patience when you first knew they needed to be cared for.
Generally the children who do have relatives who love them and want the best will come running the moment then find out the children Need a home not months later when termination is about to take place. It generally takes at least a year before this process starts and baring any clear evidence you were NOT aware the children were in foster care it looks bad that family wouldn't come in before such time.
It isn't ideal to see family allow children they love to be at risk in Foster Homes for extended periods of time only to pop up |
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Jane S
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you call social services! |
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Cindy D
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Caution: WHY were they taken away from their parents? You need to be very cautious about contact with their birth parents if there was any abuse involved. Their parents' involvement in their lives may be just exactly what they DON'T need. Children aren't taken away casually and for the heck of it. Normally they are only removed if they are in danger. |
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