How do I find my child?

nickynoodles33

Oh bless you - I have no real answer for you my love as I luckily was brought up in a household like the waltons! - can you not start with the adoption agency that handled the adoption?
I hope and pray that someone else has more answers than me.
My thoughts are with you - have a star, if I could give you 100 I would.
Best of luck xx

Joy M

go to http://adultadoptees.org register and ask for Gershom

*Pat R, you wouldn't by chance be one of those "loving" adoptive parents would you?

Sweetnlow

Don't listen to this Pat R person!

Your child wants to find you! I am adopted and I wanted to find my birth mother more than anything. I did find her and she rejected me, its the worst pain I have ever felt. This person clearly has no idea what they are talking about, and I just wanted you to know that its ok to find your child. Its your right, as its THEIR right to find you. You need each other.

Justice

Joy M's suggestion is very good.

"go to http://adultadoptees.org register and ask for Gershom"

You can find your child. It may take time. While you are searching take some time to learn about reunions. Trust your heart. It is really worth it. After learning how many adoptees yearn to be found and to know their mothers love, I think it's worth it to make that contact. And see what grows.

June S

well, god bless you . I am adopted, and I found my birth mum through a website called missing you. You can put a message on to that site saying that you would love to meet your child, with as many details that you have about the adoption, and your child's birth date and birth name. Maybe your child knows they are adopted, and may log into this site, or maybe someone your child is close to may read it, either way, you have nothing to lose. Good luck to you, I hope you find your baby x

snowwillow20

I found my daughter in 2001, she was 29. I first contacted the adoption agency. I was advised to send a letter to be placed in her file, if she had tried to contact me, there would be a letter from her to me, she had not so it was a dead end.
Post on some adoption bullitin boards, I found a search angel through another family friend and they found her. I'm in California. I wish I could send you her name but she is no longer in the searching business. You probably have more info than you know. If you find her, you must be prepared for rejection, because she might not want to be found or she might not know she is adopted. My story turned out good. Good luck.

Devin's mom

1st register with isrr.net and as many online registries that you can find.
Then register with the agency and the state the adoption occurred in. Use this site to find how to do this.

http://local.reunion.adoption.com/

Be sure to put a consent to contact form in your files with the state and agency records so that if someone comes requesting information about you it will expedite the reunion process.
Good luck

FanDangle

First, ignore the negative comments from La Puta etc. who sounds as if if he or she has a hidden agenda. Note to La Puta: If you haven't been in the position don't under-estimate the social and family pressures brought to bear even as recently as 23 years ago.

In the United Kingdom, get NORCAP involved. See www.norcap.org.uk for more. They can act as intermediary between you and your birth-child. You won't have to pay (though as it's a charity any voluntary contribution would be accepted and proper receipt issued).
Social Services for the area where the adoption occurred is another good place to start.
Put yourself on the register of birth parents willing to be approached by their adopted children - again, this will be done through intermediaries so you may not find out your child's present name, at least to begin with.
Best of luck in your search.

my 2 girls were born 1/5/09

try getting in touch with the adoption agency in your local area. i think it is good that you are trying to find your child but you have to be prepared for there to be no results or even if they do manage to track them down they may not want to see you. but best of luck!!

Peanut

Most councils have an intermediary service for birth relatives seeking information about adopted relatives.
Why not make them your first port of call-i'm sure that if they cannot help you they will know who the best person is to contact.

Best of luck

mlassi65

Register at all the sites you can find. Contact the adoption agency/church organization. Get lots of support for the emotions that searching raises. Good luck!

fengirl2

You need to contact the Social Services Department for the county or London Borough where the child was adopted - I think even church adoptions had to have SS approval. Failing that, contact the church concerned.

bemusedconfused

i was married to an adoptee (now divorced though) and found his biological mother, since then i have found a few people. my hubby is fantastic at finding people. last week we found our friends father, he hasn't seen in 15 years. it took us 7 days to track him down. i'm really enjoying doing it so if you need any tips on finding your child message me with your questions and i will gladly tell you some of the ways we have found people. i also do it for satisfaction NOT money x x x

grapesgum

Other than a few total nut jobs here (Pat R and la puta de whatever), you have gotten some great advice. I would like to offer one more tip - if you know the region where your child was adopted, genealogy WEB sites for that region likely has a "search angel" who will help you dig through local records. They offer their free services for "birth" parents.

Good luck and best wishes for a joyful reunion.

kelly d

I find this very disturbing! I am adopting a newborn that is due any day know. I myself started out doing a closed adoption but throughout her pregnancy I just had to meet her! We took her for dinner and I really felt for this mother . I am now wanting to include her from the very beginning. This child will always know who she is and where she is , because that is my duty as a adopting parent! What is best the the child! This baby will know he has two mothers that love him dearly. Well as for finding your child, what ever state you are in should have a , adoption reunion registry! Say if you lived in Florida the registry number is 1-850-488-8000 . If you do not live in Florida you can still call this number and they will help you find the number for your state. I really do fell for you! I hope this information helps you find your child that you loved so much that you spared your own feelings for him or her! Good luck in your search!

mommy2squee

The answer to this depends very much on the state in which you placed your child.

In some states, records are sealed permanently, in others, there is a registry available. You should definitely go back to Catholic Charities, and register with them, so that if your son or daughter comes looking, they have an easy time finding you!

I was lucky.. when I started looking, my birthmom was already trying to find me.

My SiL was not... The agency she worked with lied to her mom, and mom committed suicide about the time SiL started to look. :(

My FiL found his birth family recently.... he was adopted BEFORE records were sealed, and had his OBC, and got into contact with his brother, again some months after his mother passed away. Mom had never told her new family that he existed, but some cousins remembered that she had "gone away" Family was overjoyed to have him contact them!

My son, thank GOD, won't have to go through that... His birthmom is part of our lives.

Now if I could only get DH to search!

Poor DS.. adoption runs in the family...... if he ever has to do a family tree, it gets to about 290 slots in less than three generations!

Contact me privately, I have a HUGE collection of search links I would be willing to pass on to you!

mbaya

I'm a bit confused - not sure from some of the answers whether you're in the UK. If so, you could try Norcap - a charity for adults affected by adoption. They were a great support to me; even though my search took place in Australia, they were able to give me general advice on where to look and which organisation to contact over there. They should be able to advise you on how to start looking. http://www.norcap.org.uk

I'm sorry some people have chosen to thrust their personal opinions at you. Everyone responds differently to adoption and only you can decide what is best for you. I would only advise you to think long and hard about why you want to contact your child, and what you hope to get out of it. It sounds like an obvious question, but when my natural father asked me I realised I hadn't thought beyond "I want to see my biological family." Good luck to you.

WAlsal

try friends and genes reunited.its really good.you might find someone who knows them or went to school with them.if you want to contact anyone directly you have to pay but it'll be worth it.good luck with finding your child xx

gemini

There is a web site for birth parents or the child can sign up and as soon as i find it I will answer again if i can. The church probably won't help nor will SS. I bet the child is already looking for you and I hope you find who you're looking for.I too got pregnant at 16 with twins no less and got kicked out of the house by my very Catholic mother. My twins are now 28 yrs old. Just remember, you did a good thing.

Flash

Assuming you are in England (or Wales), The General Register Office has an Adoption Contact Register. This is for parents & children that have been through the adoption process to register an interest in finding their biological families. Of course this will only be of any immediate use if your child has registered already. However if you register, then perhaps one day your offspring wil search for you & find you on the register.
As an adopted child myself, I have yet to decide wether to register or not.
I wish you good luck.

MegSTAR

poor you. Well I'd start with the social services or adoption agency and give them your name, that might get you started, if not, ask them for all the names of babies born on the same day / time and hospital that your baby was born.

Other than that i am really stuck, best of luck. My thoughts are with you x.x

m

Jill the Pastry

My boyfriend was adopted and when we were trying to find his birth mother, we went on genes reunited. You can find out when the birth was registered and by what name he was registered under. Try this website www.adoptiontrace.co.uk or talk to social services. I wish you every luck in the world!

eharrah1

I would start with whomever the adoption went thru. I was adopted thru the state of South Carolina. I got my nonidentifying information from them. Basically, everything about my mom and her family except for their names. Then I went to someone who did searches for a living and was at that time, trying to get licensed. She found my aunt first, then my sisters and finally my mom. Luckily, my aunt had not moved from the little town in Georgia where they were all from.

Ollie

Hi,the best people to help you are the salvation army.Good Luck & do not give up has the laws have changed.

jerky jerky

if the social services were involved usually your child would be given a memories ( life story) book which may result in the child contacting you however it seems you were orginised by the church usually the church has records of every birth deaths marriages and adoptions i would start at the church and work from there, if you have no luck with that try your county council they should have records if it were a recent adoption i could possibly give you better advise however your question is for years ago and times have unfortunatly changed but still should have documentation of the avent good luck

chris g

contact social serves. than tell them make shore you have all that paper work.

robin r

thought maybe you could be my mom but I'm older than the child you are looking for. I am still searching but really don't have much to go on. Good Luck

brunnettesue

the salvation army will help you, good luck

Curious

There are loads of places to look on the net. I would try all the places given you by other answers. Then I would put the words 'adopted' in the address bar and sites will come up.

I know a young lady looking for her mum, she's been searching for her mum for many years. This young lady was born in Kensington and I know the name of her biological mum, but we can't locate her. If your child was born in Kensington, you could be her mum. Contact me if this is the case.

Good luck with your search, but please don't feel hurt, when you find her, if your child rejects you. Remember, she has no ties with you other than you are her biological mother. You remember her, but she doesn't remember you, so you will be a complete stranger.

Once again, Good Luck, take care and many hugs to you...xx

Grandmas Babe

You can register with an agency to find your adopted child, but it must be the child who contacts you.
Do be careful though as from my experiece it can be very hurtful. I was over the moon when my daughter contacted me and all seemed to go well with our meetings, when suddenly she changed her mind and wanted no further contact.

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