Home     Links     Contact Us     Bookmark  
 
   Homepage      News      Legal Forum      Dictionary  
Home : Legal Forum : Child Adoption

How do adopted children feel about their adoptive parents?
Find answers to your legal question.





How do adopted children feel about their adoptive parents?

Do they usually form a good bond? Do they resent them somehow for not being their birth parents? Get angry at suggestions they should be grateful?


    




Champagne 3 suspended again !
Rating
I think it all depends on the person, how much information they'd been given and what the situation was.

I'm an adopted child and i have no desire to meet my real parents. Maybe in the future i will but at present i really don't form any opinion.

I love my adopted parents with all my heart and never resented them for one minute.


retox
I think each individual experience will be different. No matter how loved you are, for many many people who have been adopted, they will always want to find "where they came from" and often try and trace their real parents later in life - this is not a slight against the adoptive parents, just a basic human instinct. Hopefully, no child is made to feel grateful, on the contrary, they are told they are special as they were chosen.


anastasia beaverhausen-the real1
Rating
i adored mine. i still hate adoption, but i love my parents.


lilmomma
I can only speak for myself. I formed a wonderful bond with my parents. They were always open to discuss my adoption with me, I always knew. Never once was I angry or resentful with them. There were times that I wished that they were my birth parents but I figure they are as close as it gets, in regards to how well they treated me and cared for me.


lalena_06
Two of my younger cousins were adopted at birth.

My aunt and uncle were unable to conceive, so they turned to adoption rather than 'medical intervention'.

The oldest girl's birth mother was a 16 year old girl who wasn't ready to be a mom. She sees my cousin every year around her birthday.

My younger cousins' birth mom never wanted to have anything to do with her. She was actually going to have an abortion, but some friends told her about my aunt and uncle and how they wanted to have another baby. The birth mom changed her mind, and decided to go through with the pregnancy.

Both girls have a very close bond with our entire family! I love them both to pieces, it doesn't matter to me that they aren't genetically related.

I can't say that they've been confronted with many questions about being grateful or resentful. I'd say they have a relationship like most kids & parents. They've bonded just fine, and they all love eachother very much!


Lisa <3
Rating
well. my neice's friend is adopted. and quite frankly, the girl hates it. my neice was told by her friend she couldnt 'hang' with her or be friends cause they dont playout after school. they live very far away from the school and this is very difficult for my neice to go all the way over to theirs.
hope i helped.
lisa


Andraya
I love my parents, ALL of them. I don't have a great bond with any of them, not like my friends who were raised by their natural parents anyhow. I don't resent my aparents for not being my natural parents, that would be foolish. I get very angry when anyone suggests I should be grateful for being adopted. I was not "chosen" or hand picked from a room full of babies, I was not a blessed gift or miracle. I was a baby with no say in what would happen to me.


Abigail P
I know that they love me. I don't love them in the typical-child-parent relationship way. I respect them, I act like I love them. I protect them from the truth-that somehow I will always love my birthparents more. I get very frustrated if they try to understand me; there will always be part of me they do not understand.


opedial
I hope in the end there is no resentment against a-parents specifically, more about the process.

I am hoping for a good bond with our adoptive children, there are no signs of attachment disorder from any psych reports thus far, and they have all been in one foster home since they came into care two years ago. My job is to love and nurture them adn how they process that years from now I really have no control over.

I do want to say though that all children should have some gratitude for their parents, not that they were adopted, but all children who had great parents should be grateful as there are many children adopted, not adopted, etc., there are many children period who have less than stellar parents, so as a person not adopted I am grateful for myh parents life lessons, although they had their problems I am always grateful for what they did give me, and hope my children will feel the same, adopted or not. (in this case adopted)


Ashley C
I was adopted as was my older brother (we are not biological siblings). Neither of us have any resentment towards our parents. Many of my parents friends have adopted children and they are all just regular families. They all bonded with their adoptive parents without trouble. I was not adopted until I was nearly a year old and another friend was adopted at the age of 2. Both of us bonded with our adoptive families without issue. If any of us ever got angry it was towards our birth parents when we were young. Knowing that someone gave you up can cause feelings of confusion but with loving, supportive family to help you through those times, everything is fine. Now at 25 I have a relationship with my birthmom and her family. Its nice to have her in my life but it doesnt change that my adoptive parents are Mom and Dad and will always be!


snow flake
Let's see, did I form a good bond..not so much. Do I resent my aparents for not being my bparents...actually, yes, as irrational as it is, yes I do. Do I get angry at suggestions I should be grateful...Hell, yes. I have no reason to be grateful for having been taken from the mother who loved me and given to a family of strangers. I do love my adoptive parents, but I hate being adopted with a passion.


Heather B
Rating
I love my adoptive parents more than I can say.

My relationship with them has nothing to do with how I feel about the dire way infant adoption is practised in the USA today or the secrets and lies, stigma and outdated closed records laws that remain in the US adoption system.


debrisa11
I was adopted by my grandparents, I do not know my father but my mother is actually my sister. I was lied to until the age of 13 when I was experiencing all kinds of personal issues in my life but to hit with this at an age when I thought my life was good. I have never lied to my children about who I am they kinow all about my adoption etc and its best to tell the truth not grateful as you suggest, unless you have all the facts face out in front of you. Although I had a good upbringing I hated being lied too.


Daisey Duck
Rating
How any child bonds with their parents adopted or not depends on the individuals. I was adopted for the second time at a little over 2 yrs old. We had the typical parent child relationship, good when young, a little rocky during teen age years, and great as adult. All parents and their children go through different stages in the relationship. They may not have conceived me but they were my parents in every aspect of the word. I probably had a better relationship with my parents than most of my friends who were raised by their bio's. I have never had anyone suggest that I should be grateful. I am glad that they chose to adopt me and they never treated me as anything but their own.


Elizabeth
Rating
I did not bond with my adopters, and I never considered them my family.

However, I did not resent THEM.They were not supposed to raise me, that was my mother's job.

I was never, and will never be grateful. There is nothing to be grateful for in regards to abandonment/adoption.


HappyMomAnna
Rating
Children are all unique and how they feel about their parents is generally how they feel...

Q: Do they usually bond?

A: Well, it depends how many "caregivers" the child has had and what the bond was like with these caregivers. It depends on if a child has made a healthy bond or unhealthy bond with any of the caregivers.... It depends on how transitions were from one caregiver to the next... It depends on the Early Infancy stage and if the child learned to rely on a caregiver to meet their needs--or if the baby cried for hours and learned to suffer without any attention.... It depends a lot on how the first 3 years of life were--and if the child learned that they mattered or not.....it depends on how the child feels on the first impression meeting the growing up family--on how the family works on the intitial transition...on how the family responds to the honeymoon--or to the red-flags...on how much the parents expect and so many things it is actually impossible to know....
Attachment is NOT a Person it is a Process.... if the first attachments were bad--then the child doesn't learn the process... And.... The LAST move can be the Move that causes the attachment issues to be damaged....

Don't know about the resentment issues.... I resent my parents for being stupid teenagers who decided to get married and pretend they were parents.... So--children resenting their parents CAN BE all about a lot of things....

The Grateful stuff ***** Are you asking if the child would be angry about being grateful for BEING Adopted? Well, that is is the attitude a parent would have that would Most surely cause a child to be angry... A Kid has no say in why they were adopted and should have to be grateful they were.... It isn't their fault and they should not be expected to be grateful for the things Children should be able to take for granted...

*





 Enter Your Message or Comment


User Name:  
User Email:   
Post a comment:




Legal Discussion Forum

 What about changing an adoptee name to help them out later in life?
http://www.thedigeratili http://www.eurekalert.or...


 Whose idea was it to adopt?
Was it your idea? Your spouse's? Mutual? Did you have to 'talk them into it'? Did it take them time to warm up to the idea, and then they were excited about it too?...


 How come adoption agencies and attorneys are allowed to profit from adoption?
I was talking with my Mom and she made the point that it is illegal to for a organ donor to profit from donating their organ but doctors are allowed to make hundreds of thousands of dollars.

...


 Madonna and 'the adoption'?
Just to clarify: I don't really understand the adoption process in this Country (Britain), (having not gone through it) let alone in any other Country.
However, I may be wrong, but in this ...


 A question for amothers and adoptees?
I plan to adopt a child someday. I am wondering amothers if you have a biological child and an adopted one, do you honestly feel the same attachement towards both of them? Adoptees what is your ...


 How old is too old to change a child's name when you adopt him/her?

Additional Details
We are not actually ready to adopt yet. Names are just very important to me, and it is honestly the only thing holding me back from adopting. I want to pass that ...


 If I choose to give my baby up for adoption in California will it be permanent or can I get my baby back?
I was going to have an abortion but I was having trouble getting emergency medical for the procedure. I didn't know I was pregnant until later because I was still having normal "periods&...


 What is adoption like?
Well me and my boyfriend was just talking on msn ... just being hyper i suppose lol but then he went
'when were older can we adopt a child?'
This did upset me a little ...


 Honestly, should i put myself in foster care, or try to make it on my own?
this is my situation, please read before answering:

http://answers.yahoo.com
and

http://...


 I was thinking of open adoption but there are no laws requiring the adoptive parents to keep it open?
what if they just close me off completly? or if they move far far away?!
Additional Details
what if the adoptive parents cut me off? there is no law helping open adoption =...


 What do you think about adopting?
...


 Can we foster? I am 23 and would be the primary/sole carer. My Wife is 20, Would I/we still be able to foster?
...


 Has your child been tested for genetic disorders?
As adoptive parents, many people are not aware that newborn screening for genetic orders exists. If you have adopted a child, have you spoken to your doctor about having the expanded newborn ...


 Who thinks adult adoptees conceived by incest or rape should have fewer rights than other adoptees?
Who thinks adult adoptees conceived by incest or rape should have fewer rights than other adoptees when it comes to accessing their birth records?

Thank you for your thoughts.
A...


 Is there a time that comes where you just have to say enough?
I was reading a few things and talking to one of my friends, who is a SW. It seems that people think there should be a time when natural parents fighting for thier child should say, "enough"...


 Can my husband adopt my 4 year old son?
My son's biological father has never claimed paternity, therefore he doesn't have any legal rights to my son. I have however let him have visitation rights. Now he wants to claim paternity ...


 In adoption,do you think the desire for adopting white babies is greater then the desire for wanting a black ?
baby, personally i think every unwanted child deserves a good home with loving parent....


 Do you think someone is touched in the head or emotionally unstable....?
...if they only received 4 pictures, never met nor spoke to the child, and were trying to fight for the their right to adopt the child despite the birth parents deciding to keep the baby? The child ...


 Do people in the process of adopting find that a lot of people ask very 'rude' questions?
l mean, you wouldn't ask a woman who fell pregnant why she chose to do it, or how she's going to raise a child, so why do people feel they have a right to question people about adoption? D...


 Im looking for my twin sister.................?
I just found out i have a twin sister! Im excited and upset that my parents are just now telling me. She was adopted at birth because my family could only care for one child. I know her first name, ...




Copyright (c) 2009-2013 Wiki Law 3k Wednesday, October 22, 2014 - Trusted legal information for you.
Archive: Forum  |  Forum  |  Forum  |  Links
0.034