How do i find out if the father of my child is adopted?

Theresa

You are not selfish for wanting to know, ignore anyone who says otherwise. The historical and genetic origins are your child's birthright. With that out of the way....

Wow what a dilemma. You must feel so frustrated. It seems to me based on your other question your boyfriend's mother is frightening, manipulative and controlling. No wonder he doesn't feel like he can even begin to question his origins.

I would wait for a good time to have a talk with your partner. And in my opinion, I don't think this good time will be anytime in the near future. I don't know how old you two are but with a new baby on the way and a partner who seems unable to stand up for himself, bringing up an adoption search with an unwilling partner isn't going to get you very far right now, and it's only going to make an already tense situation worse.

Wait a bit until things calm down and he's able to have some distance from his adoptive mother. Just focus on your pregnancy and taking care of yourself and the baby. There's no rush for this right now, and when things are calmer, there are people who can help you.

Just my opinion.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

that's a tough one. i'm sorry the other answerers aren't being very nice about such a serious topic.

unfortunately, it doesn't sound like you're going to get very far. i think your only way to go is to have the genetic tests done through your doctor.

welcome to the fabulous world of secrets and lies.

Louby B

Sorry to say the only way you could ever get that sort of information is by your boyfriend wanting to go down that road.

As a parent I can fully understand you wanting to know the genes your child might be carrying but I will be honest for your boyfriend to go down that road, it can take years to trace anyone from his biological family & sometimes they are never found.

There is one thing that is being forgotten. If you boyfriend ever decided too, there would be alot of emotion for him to deal with, it is like going on a roller-coaster full of emotion, all those fears & doubts would come rushing out & it can be hard at times to deal with it.

As I am adopted myself please do not push him. If he does decide to, it will be when he feels he is strong & ready, not when others are wanting him too. Just be there for him it will be hard & he will want you to be his rock but he may never want to & you really have to respect his wishes.

Just enjoy that little baby of yours, you do not need this added stress at this point. Take each day as it comes, enjoy life to the full..

Wish you all the best for your family

DevonChaos

Don't force it. I myself am adopted. I have no clue as to my own genetic background. I have 5 kids, and have just put down on all forms that I am adopted and know nothing of my biological background. I really think you should leave this alone. It is obviously a touchy subject, so just be thankful as you go that things are well. Don't push it, you don't want him to think you are pushy. Also, this can cause his family to dislike you if you are too insistent. You never know what the real issues are, and perhaps this is best.

TheRaven

You've got no right to start digging about in your boyfriend's background. He's told you very nicely to leave it alone, so leave it.

wilderwriter

Sorry, darlin', but without their help, there is no way to get any of that information. I don't think you should worry that much, though, as there are VERY few potential problems with your child that are the result of genetic disorders. You could try to get your boyfriend to provide HIS genetic information and talk to your doctor about anything of-concern THERE and in your own make-up. But I really don't think you have much to be concerned about.

Rowan

Well, it looks like in this case, it's not going to happen. Alot of adoptive children do not know their medical history, some only know part. Seems like your boyfriend either wants you to leave it alone, or just plain doesn't know.
I understand you want to kow for your childs sake, but if you really care about this guy, you'll respect his wishes in the matter.

Highly Evolved

My fiance is adopted and my 3 nieces are adopted. So, I know more than a little bit about adoption. My fiance was left in a hospital by his biological mother, he has no idea who she is or who his father is. I don't even know if there is a way to find out who abandoned him in the hospital.

So, how is your boyfriend going to suddenly find out who his biological parents are? You're going to 'make' him find out so that you'll know the 'sort of genes' your future child carries? Do you know how gut-wrenching it will be for everyone if he even attempts to find them? Plus, there is a very slim chance of him ever finding them. You are willing to put him and his parents through pain just because you want 'knowledge'. I think that is so utterly selfish of you. AND if you do find out this knowledge are you going to dump him if he's predisposed to something?

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