How do u know if adoption is right for u and your family?

BLW_KAM

Monkey Kitty's words are perfect.

If any part of you is concerned you won't fall in love with a child born to another woman, then adoption is not right for you. If you worry about their curiosity or feel threatened when they want to search, then again adoption is not right for you. If you want to raise a "mini-me", then it's best not to adopt.

But if you know your capacity for love is not limited by biology and you know you'll be able to answer your child's questions openly and honestly and later, if you can support them when they want to search for their natural families, then adoption may be right for you.

Being an adoptive parent is complicated. There will be days when your child feels like a total stranger and other days when your heart hurts for them because they were teased about their "real mom". There are times when you have butterflies in your stomach because they asked a question and you think they're still too young to know the answer. But you take a deep breath and pray your brain finds a pathway to your mouth.

But through all the complexities, being in adoptive parent is a joy and an honor.

I like the following link. It's the best I've found for explaining what qualities and skills help to make a good adoptive parent. Perhaps you will find some insight here: http://www.adoptioninbrightonandhove.org.uk/index.cfm?request=c1199485

monkeykitty83

Research, research, research. Know EXACTLY what you are getting into, to the extent it's ever possible without actually doing it yourself yet.

Make sure to get a balance of positives and negatives, and to read scenarios that aren't just warm and fuzzy. Make sure the worst case is something you can handle, not just the best case. Read about adoption from multiple perspectives: adoptees and parents who relinquished their children, as well as adoptive parents. Read about ethics, and carefully consider them.

Consider which children are truly in need of families (I suggest looking into foster care,) and opening your home to them, rather than asking for a newborn or infant, or child in high demand. That may mean an older child, or a sibling group, or a child of a different race, or a child with special needs. Think about how your adoption will provide for the needs of a child, not just the wants of yourself or your current family.

If when you are fully informed, you feel adoption is right for you, then begin the process. If getting information dissuades you from it, then so be it. You can't make this decision without knowledge, or with half-knowledge, so dig as deeply as you can.

Dalton's Mommy

There are many factors to consider. My first question to you would be: Will you love the adopted child the same as your own if someday you have bio. kids? --I have seen people adopt and then "no stress = baby" and then treat their bio kid like a king and the adopted child like a servant, or basically ignore them b/c they have their "own" child now. If there is any possibility of this happening do not do it as it is not fair to the adopted child.

michyme

Listen to your heart. If you feel it is right in your heart then it is. If you have doubts then its not.

msdarkness

you must be able to give your heart and soul to the child and accept it as if it came from your own body. if you can't give a child all your love and caring then adoption is not for you.

annie

I would say see the 1st answer. People hate you no matter what you do in life but you have to consider how much harder it will be when they are judging your children and you for the way your family came about. Other then that you MUST be a tough person and know you will have to be there for your child and not your child there for you.
Adopting is like all parenting you are never really "ready."

Birthers are NOT mothers

It's really not right for anyone. A child should rightfully be kept within it's family. Sorry, but that's the reality of it!

Skadoctor1

You will just know. If there is aprehensions because its a new venture, these are normal feelings. If you are having aprehensions based on what other people will think of your adoption or will react to your adoption or, because it wont be biological, to me those would be red flags. Adoption is right when everyone is on board. Kids will feel judgement as much as they will feel out of place in a home not fully accepting of their being adopted. If they are always made to feel like an outsider, then you shouldnt adopt. If however, you are wanting to adopt out of life long love and commitment, even if that means separating yourself from family or friends that would otherwise be detrimental to the new childs life, then I would say you are ready to adopt.
Adoption is different for all people. But you will know in your heart if you are meant to adopt. The fact that you question it, might mean you need more information or, need to postpone the idea.

'Insert name here'

For me its just knowing its a way i want to add to my family. I do want biological children but only because i want to experience pregnancy. But ultimately i want children and i see adopting as a way of adding to my family.

Chillout

if u can afford it, and u want to do it, do it.
i have 6 cousins who are adopted. mostly, what happened was they were from not so great backgrounds, and needed someone to look after them.
try fostering a child. if it works, move on to adoption.

All in one!

You will just know.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: