How do we make the adoption of our foster daughter as special as possible on a small budget?

*Holly* Mama to Jaden & Rylee

How old is she? Ask her what she would like to do if she is old enough. She should be able to tell you what she would like to do. But a nice dinner sounds fine to me.

Opedial

Hi,

She has already been with you for 2.5 years, and she loves you etc., but don't fool yourself, she will have some trauma at the idea of never seeing her parents again. A small dinner is the ones the kids remember.

For my kids, adoption celebration BACKFIRED in a big way. The big dinners or parties are hard for them to take, but the small dinners, especially the simple ones, those the kids know. We had a "wine and cheese" with our kids...where they tried lots of different cheeses and had sparkling apple juice. They got in their play clothes and really hammed it up like they were at a pompous party. All I wanted to do was eat the cheese lol but this happened spontaneously. This family of five party is still the one the kids talk about ALL the time (oh we got a call from the school about feeding our kids wine, but the school's stupidity aside).

K.I.S.S. Keep it Simple Silly

cricketlady

Ask her what she would like to do for her special day---it need not cost a lot of money. Maybe she would like to have a party at home with a few special friends. .
Our daughter was 7 yrs old when we adopted her. Our celebration started at the courthouse.Afterward we went to McDonald's with her adoption worker and had a wonderful time visiting with family and friends. Our daughter chose McDonald's and that was very fitting as that is where we first met her.

A nice celebration in the park would be nice too with a cookout and friends present. She will always remember her special day as you will also.

Kyle F.

have one of those inflatable water slides set up in your backyard and have a bbq. thats always fun.

AnnaBelle

I agree with Sunny. It might be best to keep it low-key, and respectful.

I know that you might feel overjoyed. When you fall in love with these little people, you feel like holding a press conference every time they smile. ;-) But for the child, it might be a little bittersweet, even if she doesn't recognize it just now.

Even if the adoption itself isn't a source of pain, you want to keep things respectful so that you never send the message that you are happy that she went through what she did to get to you. There are other ways to communicate to her that you are elated about being allowed the chance to raise her, while being reverent of the trauma that she has experienced so far.

A family dinner, in her honor, is wonderful. Let her pick all the food, and maybe have an evening afterward, just your immediate family, that is all about her. Maybe a games night, or a movie night, or whatever, and let her choose everything (within reason, of course).

Good luck, and congrats. :-)

Adoptionissadnsick

Get her original birth certificate because once you finalize adoption she will forever lose this piece of paper. Keep it safe for her.

rugby chick

If the weather is nice you can make it a family day and head to the park or beach and have a picnic. You can pack her favorite food or make a cake with her full name on it.
Another idea is to just have a family day at home and sit around and enjoy one another. You can play cards, board games or the wii together. You can have extended family over to help celebrate.
Talk to her to see what she would like.
Congratulations.

Sunny

I'm not a foster care kid, but I'm still not a fan of adoption "celebrations".

As wonderful as joining your family might be for her, it is still the death of a dream for her--much like a divorced parent's remarriage would be for a child. She will never have her mommy & daddy in an authentic family as most people do. This is a profound loss. Yes, "even if" they were crack heads, even if they abused her. It's a loss.

I personally think a small not in-your-face dinner would be better.

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