How do we start? 10 points for best answer!?

Laurel J

Domestic foster care is the quickest, cheapest method I know of, and it has the bonus of helping kids who need help and being a good way to adopt an older child.

My actual advice is not to present yourself as looking for the cheapest human being you can score the fastest. Perhaps you mean well, but you sound like you think adoption is buying a car. I'm adopted, and I find this hurtful and insulting.

I would also advise you to seek advice from international adoptees and first parents--people who have experienced adoption and have nothing to gain by painting a pretty picture for you. (Actually, just about anyone would be better than strangers on the internet. You're opening your heart to scammers.)

Adoption is not, harsh as it sounds, about your joy and fulfillment. it's about homes for children who need them.

Mom to Foster Children

While I applaud you to want to adopt an older child - bless you for doing this and not wanting the blond haired blue eyed little perfect chid that some "need to have" - what I do have a problem with is that you want the quickest and cheapest way to do this. Adoption is way more complex than how long it takes / and how much money it's going to cost you. If money is an issue to adopt - then I suggest you adopt out of foster care right here in the USA where there are 1000's of children who need homes and it's free. I used to think that adoption would be easy - but if you are doing this just to have a child of your own - please remember that this child had to lose something for you to gain something (sorry, can't find a better way to say it right now). This child BELONGS to someone else already - you are just going to step in and take over where their parents couldn't. Please also remember that no matter how much this child loves you - this child also longs and loves to be with the mother that gave birth to him and may search her out one day. Also remember that if they do search it has nothing to do with you - or at least if you loved the child growing up it shouldn't have anything to do with you. I would suggest you do some more research on this issue and do lots and lots of reading on it. Adoption is not a bed of roses like it is when you bring your little one home from the hospital after giving birth...it's many many up's and down's and you give way more than you get in return - if anything at all!

PhilM

Read and inform yourself. Some good books to start with:

* "Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self" by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig

* "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier

First I would recommend that you and your spouse take the time to resolve your feelings about your infertility before heading into adoption.

I would recommend that you start by researching all areas of adoption, foster care, international & domestic. A great place to get good information on adoption is www.informedadoptions.com

Heather B

Oh, great, another last resorter

Adoptees aren't there to fulfill your needs

It's offensive to speak about children and 'best priced' in the same sentence :(

leila

have you considered adopting from foster care?

Amanda

Adopting a 3/4 year old over an infant does favor you. The process may be quicker and less expensive (some adoption agencies have their program fees by age groups, it's usually only a few thousand dollars difference, but hey!)

There are MANY different places to adopt from. Are you looking to adopt a boy or a girl. If you'd like a boy, China wouldn't be your best shot, Chinese adoptions are almost ALL girls. Before you make your decision, you need to see where you are eligible to adopt from. Most countries have certain restrictions like age, health, income, etc.

But as for China or Africa, here's the basic breakdown, although fees and times vary with different agencies:

China: The timeline for a Chinese adoption is usually around 36 months, you travel to China for approx. 2 weeks. And the total cost is around $16,000-$23,000

Ethiopia: The timeline for an Ethiopian adoption is around 6-12 months. You will travel for 2-3 weeks, and the total cost is usually around $20,000-$25,000.

Good luck with your adoption!

Independ"ant"

Try fostering older children or sponsoring kids so that they will not be seperated from their parents.
I know its not what you want but its not like you could have one on your own anyway.

Cool Hal

You really need to think how you ask your question

"What is the best /reliable/best priced and fastest?" - it sounds like you are trying to order office supplies from Office Depot

"We were thinking African or Chinese!" - are you ordering take out on a Friday night? Cos that is the kinda conversation I have with my wife.

Whilst I get that TTC is tough on you - the way that you approaching adoption is insulting to a lot of adopted people

C Wood

Please don't post "10 points for best answer" as part of your question. It's offensive.

Adopting a 3 to 4 year old may be easier than adopting a baby, but there are less of them available as well in many cases. What favors people is if they are willing to adopt older children, like age 8 to 10 or above. It's much harder to find homes for older children.

If having the adoption best priced and fastest is really important, then you need to think about your reasons for adopting, as that sounds like you have issues you need to resolve before you adopt.

What is "best" varies according to your personality and your emotions.

I think you need to slow down and resolve why you're in such a hurry.
cw

Felicita1

"What is the best /reliable/best priced and fastest?"

(Another one confusing children with happy meals ... we had one of these questions a few days ago, right? "Cheap, fast, and convenient" I think were the adjectives used ...)

Seriously though, It is good that you are thinking of an older child rather than yourself or a paid agent persuading a vulnerable pregnant mom to give her unborn child to you. THAT is unethical.

Remember though, adoption is NOT like giving birth. That child has a family or extended family out there already. Even if the child is an orphan dropped off at an orphanage anonymously (as can happen in China), that child will still have roots and may one day need to search. No matter what you do to love and care for them, the pain of having been "rejected" will likely always be there, and this can get worse in adulthood even, as the adoptee realizes full well then that loves does not equal abandonment (the oxymoron of "she loved you so much she gave you away")

Are you certain that IVF if not an alternative? The difference is huge between raising your own child and raising another person's child. There are indeed children out there who NEED families, but you have to be prepared to love and accept them and recognize their unique needs and issues as adoptees. To adopt as an alternatives to IVF is likely not a good reason to adopt, if you expect a child with "no strings attached."

Treasury M

you should get them young because they will get use to you

in the long run tell them the truth though

secretaa@ymail.com

try somewhere where people hardly adopt kids, it'll be alot less priced, and it'll really help...

people hardly ever adopt kids from: cuba (cubans are facing a really tough sittuation... if you live in the united states... please go for a cuban child... they really need a better future...)

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