How do you feel about gestational surrogacy?

Lillie

Perhaps you would be better off asking the "offspring" of these arrangements when they grow up and have had time to process their feelings and emotions about having been carried for 9 months by somebody who was paid to do it.

I have read some blogs, and have a friend who was, and all I can say is, from the people I know (who are NOT still infants or toddlers), they are not too comfortable with the way they came into the world.

I wish people would give more thought to the effects on the children (and future adults) they are creating and less about their own needs and desires.

Try to put yourself in that situation. How would you feel? What would that do to you, psychologically, emotionally, to know that you were created in such a way? Would you feel good? Bad? Happy? Angry? Somewhere in between?

This is something that these potential parents should think LONG and HARD about before they ever start interviewing surrogates. After all, shouldn't the health and well being of their future child be paramount?

maybe

It's baby manufacturing.

I would be sick if I discovered this was how I was brought into the world.

vavoom74

I think it's up to the group involved. I would think they would all meet first and go over legal issues and such. If it all works with each other why not...but if the family wants no further part in the surrogacy then I would respect that also.

Vanessa A

I don't have a problem with it if it's between close family (sisters, for example), and the surrogate mother does it purely out of love. I do have an issue with being paying others to be surrogates, which I'm pretty sure is illegal in the US, I don't know about other countries.

Although personally, I don't understand why people are so adamant on having children that are biologically related to them when their are so many babies and children needing loving families. If I find out that I'm unable to have children, I definitely plan to adopt, and even if I can have children I still would like to adopt a child.

Gaia Raain II

My concern is always how it affects the child. I don't care who the child is blood related to, when a child is growing in a womb, that child experiences that womb as belonging to his mother. That child will have the same emotional attachment to the woman who carried him that he would have to his own biological mother. Therefore, it would be traumatic to separate the woman who gave birth to the child, from that child. Regardless if any of the adults feel traumatized, the CHILD will. There is still a primal wound in that child. Therefore, it shouldn't be done. Whether a relationship is maintained or not does not remove the wound. It just should not be done.

Merry C

I'm ok with it if it is done for family, if my sister couldn't conceive I would carry her baby for her. No it wouldn't be referred as a birth mother since it wasn't her egg.

Cleobird

Well, Ive been a gestational surrogate twice, so that will probably tell you where I stand on the issue:)

All in all its a wonderful option for people.

The woman who carried the child is usually referred to as the surrogate. I'm sure some say "birth mother" but to me that implies a woman who gave a child up for adoption. Thats just not the case with surrogacy.

Lioness

I think this is one of the options available for many couples who have difficulties with their own pregnancies, and as such, has a respected place in the world of parenthood. The woman who carried the child is a surrogate, not technically a birthmother, in the adoption sense. If the couples prefers to refer to her as the birthmother, that's up to them.

Concerning an ongoing relationship between the new parents and the surrogate, that is certainly up to them. In some situations, the surrogate is a family member (sister, cousin, and in one case, the twin babies' maternal grandmother), so there will always be that connection. When the surrogate is not related, there may remain an emotional connection to the woman who was willing to relinquish her own body for that 9 months to allow another couple be become parents.

alleycatjo

My best friend is a gestational surrogate. It's a pretty amazing process..

The lady who carried the baby would be reffered to as the GS {gestational surrogate} or gestational carrier...

There are some couples who do lik for the surrogate to maintain contact, and others who prefer not to. Depends on what the couples want and contracts state....

im dead

i would consider myself being a surrget because i feel it would be the rite thing to do and to help someone out.
i dont think they should be refered to as the birth mother becuse to be a mother its alot more than just giving birth
but yes some sort of casual relanship should be maintained

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