How do you feel about people who solicit for babies?

Morgaine

I think it is crass and very disrespectful.

If a woman is really even considering placing her child for adoption, do you really think she wouldn't contact an agency etc. I think that asking someone to consider adoption assumes a lot of things about that person and their lifestyle and how it compares to your own lifestyle.

So many "infertile" couples seem to think that they are owed a child, and that is just wrong.

I have heard stories of people standing outside abortion clinics and handing out cards. Like, the girl who has all ready struggled to make the choice to have an abortion, is going to go "oh, you know what? I think I will instead carry this child to term and place it with these nice people who are not desperate at all". Kind of like in Juno. Come on, that is not a realistic outcome. Women do not make the choice to abort a pregnancy lightly, no matter what anti-choice people think. And guilting someone who would otherwise have an abortion into placing a baby with you is just wrong. I am sorry but it is.

Independ"ant"

I feel they are desperate and are in need psychological help.

Its predatory and should be illegal.

If I ever saw a bulletin or photo of a family scouting for a baby, I would either tear it up or draw graffiti on it.

If I ever heard a woman trying to manipulate a teen out of raising her child, I would quickly become part of that conversation.

No your not wrong, you have morals and integrity.

almost human

I would question the motives, character, and ethics of anyone that desperate. If they are successful, that child will have a huge burden of expectation placed upon them as well. Sounds like a great way for someone with a criminal record to by-pass the system. Without oversight, such dealings have a huge potential for abuse.

I would also be suspicious about the legality of such an arrangement and whether or not I would be able to protect my rights.

Not to mention it smelling like in utero child trafficking.

I think I would go along with it and contact a reporter at the same time...

Zuko

I think it's ridiculous and disrespectful.... as well as DANGEROUS.

A) People who solicit on Y!A and other forums obviously can't get past the system in a legal way. That's why they're using illegal means of obtaining a child.

B) At least it's not pressuring someone specific. It's still pretty desperate, but not as bad as whining on Y!A for someone to give them a baby.

C) & D) DOWNRIGHT DISRESPECTFUL. That is just something you DO NOT DO. I'd say that it could be considered harassment. It's pathetic, mean, and ridiculous. If I ever saw someone doing this, I'd probably punch them out.

No. I don't thing any of these are the right way to go about adopting. If I were pregnant and someone tried to use any of these tactics on me, they'd barely even be able to limp away.

And I think you're right. That couple IS preying on pregnant teenagers... They're incredibly vulnerable and confused and someone trying to get a child that way should be shot.

There are plenty of AP's on this board (Some I like, Some I don't) who all adopted LEGALLY. Putting pressure on pregnant women is not only unethical, it's disgusting... despicable... cruel.... and very VERY selfish.

Jennifer L

I don't like any of the above. I don't think any of them are right. Yes, I would be very offended if I were pregnant and someone approached me asking if I were considering adoption.

myst1998

People who solicit babies from women are predators and basically should be locked up and the key thrown away. Its sickening that anyone thinks they have the right to go up to another person and say to them they should consider parting with their baby because the person doing the soliciting deems them unworthy to keep their baby. Would you go up to a healthy person and say "I know you're young and healthy and all that but i need your heart. Can I kill you and take it?" This would be seen as not only unethical but illegal and would be dealt with as such. This is no different.

Rainia W

I think it is wrong. I really feel that for the protection of both parties, it should be done through social services or a reputable agency. Maybe I am just being traditional, or not sympathetic to peoples situations, but too much can go wrong and there are too many emotions involved to pursue adoption without some kind of third party.

Indian-vision

Same way as i would feel about a a pregnant woman advertising her child on the net, like yahoo or ebay( recent story of couple that were arrested for doing so).

Unethical behaviour goes both ways !

pookiesmom

I would be deeply offended if some random person came up to me and asked me that or handed me a card. I think running an ad in the paper and posting about it in apprpriate websites/their family blogs, etc is ok though.

Ingrid

As a Nurse I have had some terrible experiences. Some people looked for themselves, others to make some money for finding babies.

Caution is absolutely essential.

I Love A Child With Autism!!!

I have heard of running an add in the paper or posting a sign on a college campus bulletin board,,,I am ok with this because people can choose to look at it or not. I am completely against anything that uses direct contact such as email or handing out a card or things like that. I am an adoptive mother and a biological mother, so I am not against adoption and I know what it is like to be pregnant. I have to say that is someone had the audacity to come up to me when I was pregnant and ask if I would consider adoption...I would slug them...end of story. Nobody...not even agencies...should be able to approach women. In my opinion, if a woman has her mind See on placement, then SHE should be the one to go to someone or an agency. It is her place to make contact...nobody else's!

sizesmith

As an adoptive parent, I was blessed to be introduced to our son's 1st mom through a mutual friend. Her 1st words were to the effect that she was relieved, because she was going to leave it at the hospital.

I think that advertising is fine. It's a way for people from both sides to approach the subject, however, anyone placing an ad should already have had to undergo criminal checks, home study, etc, and anyone answering the ad should know the processes of how adoptive parents go throught the home study.

I also believe that 1st moms ought to get to know their children's future parents better, to make sure that they know what will happen in the future. There are so many that "advertise" through agencies, where their profiles are shown, and they check the boxes after agencies tell them to put that they would accept open adoptions on paper,but they aren't legally enforceable in many cases. If 1st moms actually got to know the AP's, many things could be avoided, and the lines of communication shoud be opened better.

I've had pregnant women come and admire my son, and I have mentioned that I want to adopt a brother or sister for him one day. I would never ask a woman if she wants to place hers, but just merely stating a fact. I've never had anyone act in the least like I've offended them, and actually, a few have said, "that's really cool", even though we both know that they aren't considering placing their children.

Many people who do wish to adopt get scammed by mean people who prey on people like myself who wish to adopt. Also, I thank God that I live in the United States, where the 1st amendment for speech and press exist, although there are a LOT of things that shouldn't be said, both about adoption and many, many more subjects.

Shelly P. Tofu, E.M.T.

I think there's nothing wrong with advertising your desire to adopt, letting a wide audience know about you. But some of those things are just awful!. I'll go through the things you mentioned one by one and give my thoughts.

A. Yahoo answers isn't the place.... But posting a profile of your family on an appropriate website, telling a bit about you, your spouse and family.. with contact information where a woman considering adoption for her child can contact you and learn more about you, wouldn't be such a bad thing. I can understand the desire to "get the word out." But both parties (woman considering adoption and PAP) should be warned and be careful that doing things strictly over the internet is a way to get set up for potential scams.

B. While it sounds a bit tacky and desperate to post an add in the newspaper saying "I'm looking to adopt." It certainly isn't harassing a pregnant woman, or coercing anybody..

C. That is extremely tacky at BEST, and harassment at worst. PAPs should be told this is NOT an acceptable way to get the word out.

D. THis is as bad as C. Unacceptable..

Dominoes wants to let as many people know about them as possible, so they sell more pizza. So, I see nothing wrong with advertising alot, putting their "name out" so everyone can see and CHOSE to contact THEM for pizza. But if they were to start driving around, knocking on doors and trying to shove pizza in people's hands, or even randomly walking up to people and asking if they were hungry... that would be wrong...

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