How do you feel about surrogate mothers?

Independ"ant"

Dissociative disorder like depersonalization?.

Some women can block it out during pregnancy/after giving birth.....others can't thats why they fight for custody despite having different DNA.

People should not be using/renting a woman and her body parts.

cantstopLinnyG

I think surrogate mothers have pregnancy fetishes and savior complexes. They also do it for the cash.

They are intentionally creating an adoptee, whether it's her egg, or someone else's egg. Its wrong.

A baby bonds to it's mother while in utero. Period. If its her egg, it's even worse, because the child will not be genetically related to his or her adoptive mother. If it isnt her egg, the child still suffers from premature separation from his or her first Mother.

I think it's disgusting. But it does prove a point to some extent- that parents want their OWN child...even if it's just "half" theirs. Ssshhhh. That's not supposed to be talked about.

â™¥ Bf, BabyBoy & Bump!

My sister cannot carry, and my mother always thought that I should be a surrogate for her when the time came that she wanted to have children, the time came when I was aged just 20 at the time and after careful thought I decided I just couldn't do it. My mother thought I was extremely selfish for not agreeing to it while my sister was more understanding. The baby would not even have been my DNA, but I didn't feel I would be able to cope with it emotionally and I was aged 20 and yes I may be selfish but I didn't want stretchmarks and all the other nasties that come with pregnancy. I've since had a baby (for me, not my sister!) and realise that I did make the right decision and that so much bonding is done through pregnancy I don't think I could have given a baby away.
If you didn't watch it, you can probably catch up online- Addicted to surrogacy, Channel 4

kateiskate

The baby bonds with the person who carries him or her, so you're right, he is most bonded with the "surrogate" mother.

I think it's wrong to intentionally create an adoptee when there are already so many of us. I also think it's wrong for people to want designer babies and to go to some of these rather extreme lengths for a child. It has to put a lot of heavy expectations on this child.

snowwillow20

I have a friend who decided to be a surrogate, she thought she was doing a noble thing, that it wouldn't affect her, but it did and she went into counseling because she had the same feelings that any woman has when she gives up a child. Surrogates should talk to other firstmoms who have relinquished because the feelings are the same.

Gaia Raain II

Children should not be created to be given away. You are right, the child IS bonded to the woman who carried him, and the woman who carried him IS bonded to the child.

MamaKate

Dear Brittany,

First of all, in some cases, the baby of a "surrogate" IS genetically related to the mother but even in the cases of donated eggs the surrogate still goes through the hormonal changes of pregnancy, still has nine months of a fetus developing and moving inside of her body, still shares fluids, immunities and blood with the fetus (that's how it develops and gets nutrition!) and still goes through labor and delivery. The fetus still develops hearing the surrogate's voice and heartbeat, her patterns of walking, sleep, eating, etc. Yes, with some there is a certainly a bond.

http://sonofasurrogate.tripod.com/
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/54501/surrogate_mothering_and_contract_pregnancies.html?cat=15

emmasmommy_21607

I don't know. but I think would feel the same, my DNA or not if felt the baby move and bonded with this baby. I would never be able to give up a baby i had grow in me.

Lori A

Then she is deliberately creating an adoptee. Will she be attached? To a certain extent yes.

JennaBear

I believe that surrogacy is terrible because it is an intentional act of getting pregnant in order to surrender the child willfully. The child bonds with the woman in her womb, even though the DNA might not be the same. I think the only acceptable surrogacy is possibly a sister or mother carrying the baby for a woman in their family, but anything else is just disgusting.

crzymmof8

I think this is really up to the person carrying the child. Some people feel that this is their way to help. They have no issues carrying the child and seem okay with giving the child up. I have a friend who used a surrogate and although I don't understand it it worked for them.

sizesmith

I think that I could never place any child, and as an adoptive mom, I'm very thankful that a first mom was out there, who made the decision to place.

For some women, placement is much easier than others. In surrogacy, I think a lot more counseling should be done ahead of time, during, and after the birth of a baby. A mother who is not attached to a bio child would be much more likely to successfully be a surrogate. I also think that it would be in the best interests of the child who is being born by a surrogate mother, to have the adoptive parents around her VERY often, like daily, so the baby can hear their voices, just as a child hears their father's voice in the household during pregnancy, or at least, if the surrogate mother wore a voice tape recording of the adoptive parents so the baby could hear their voices in utero.

Our son's adoptive mother wanted to stay in our house, so she'd get to know us, to make the best decision for our (meaning all 4 of ours) son. By doing this, the transition was easier on him, and his familiar noises, such as our voices, the aquariums, television, traffic, etc, were the same before and after birth.

Doodlestuff

I think surrogacy arrangements should be limited to either family members or REQUIRED to go through agencies where there is more psychological counseling done for the surrogates to weed out those who are more likely to be badly affected.

My sister's relative was a surrogate twice. I think it was much harder on her children than on her as she clearly never bonded with either child emotionally. Did the baby bond with the surrogate? Certainly, you could say that as hers is the voice the child heard for 9 months. As far as what affect it has on the child long term? I suppose that depends. I personally only know one child who was produced via surrogacy and he is 11 now. His story was very public. He has an 'aunt' relationship with his surrogate mother (no biological connection) and it's been very positive. My sister's relative has no connection with the children she produced.

Wishing surrogacy to go away is really pointless as it is not likely to happen unless we have a massive breakdown in technology. Making it better for the surrogate mother and the resulting child should be the chief concern. I personally don't think surrogacy adoptions fall in the same category as other types of adoptions.

Salt&Pepper Apricot

The woman doesn't get it "ripped away". If this was done professionally(barf), she signed documents stating that this was not her child to keep, and knew full well going into it that she wasn't keeping the child. That is not cruel. If she wanted a child to keep, she could have just spread her legs for anyone and gotten pregnant that way.

Also, when a biological mom gives her baby up for adoption, it's not being "ripped away". She's giving it away. Big difference.

Faith K

i think they are brave.
very brave

the_musicians_wife

Well the birth mother has to agree to give up a child for adoption. I can't see how or why anyone would think adoption is cruel. I think surrogate mothers probably feel something for the child but they know from the beginning that it is not theirs. Surrogacy is such a great wonderful gift to give to parents who can not get pregnant on their own.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: