How do you tell an adopted child they have siblings?

The child I will be adopting will have three full sisters, 1 full brother (who she will be raised around) 2 half sisters and 1 half brother from her mom. 3 half sisters and 1 half brother from his father, Sadly the half brother was in an accident when he was 3 and no longer with us. The mom and I was thinking about making a family tree portrait to hang in the babies room and also a family book. Do you think that's a good idea? Or should we wait until the child is a little bit older. The mom is also worried about telling her 2 year old about his siblings, she just doesn't want this to be overwhelming, but we both want to be honest about everything from the moment both children are able to realize babies come from mommies bellies.
Side note: the mom worries because none of the siblings are with our family any longer. Right now her and I are working on tracking them all down, not to contact, but so we know where they all are.
Additional Details
Bella: it means the world to me to have your opinion, thank you!

Bella

I'm just a teenager so I'm going to give it to you from a young person's point of view, so to say.

well, I really think your idea is great...I mean like, making a family tree portrait, so when the child is a little older, you know they'll ask and you can tell them anything right there. but I would be a little upset if I found all of this out when I was like, fourteen or older... those are awkward stages in life and it just wouldn't be the right time.

idk if this helps any:]

hiszwifeyO2O6O6

stick to the family tree idea. + if he asks any questions just tell him the full blown truth.

BLW_KAM

When our daughter was very young, a regular part of our bedtime ritual was "The Story of J". The story explained how we became a family (including our infertility), her natural parents, and her older sister. She used to ask us to tell her again and again.

Because of this, she always knew she had a sister. When she was almost three, her natural mother had a baby boy. He was woven into the story too. Just last year her natural mother had a baby girl. Since J is almost ten, we no longer put things in story form, now we talk about them outright.

There's a picture in her room of her and her older sister and other photos in our albums of her with her natural mother and other siblings. She refers to them as my "sisters and brother" and so far she's accepted the fact she doesn't live with them. As she grows up, I'm anticipating she'll have many more questions, but for now she's happy.

I wish you well.

ETA: IMHO, I would have the family tree portrait in a book you both look at when you tell her "The Story of You". A family tree hanging in her room might be overwhelming for a small child.

punka c

I think your family book is a good idea. You don't have to make it a big deal, just let the child know from the beginning, it's much mroe difficult later and if they find out on their own, occassionally you will get some resentment.
Your on the right path, just remember your own workds, you will find out where they are but not to contact them. Always leave it open through their adoptive parents where you are so if they wish to contact you or their sibling.
Best Wishes

HouseMom

Tell them as much as you think they can comprehend at this point; otherwise don't hide anything. As long as she knows there is someone else 'out there' it might give her a sense of security.

OUr neighbor girl (9) is adopted and has other biological siblings out of state. I think she knows (as much as appropriate) about all of them.

I will be watching this question closley and hope you get some good answers.
We are in the same boat. Our soon to be adopted son from foster care has at least 10 siblings that we know of all adopted elsewhere and we won't get any info on them from foster care.
We are in a big city but there is still a creepy chance that he could date one of them

northstar

That is so wonderful of you both to want to do this for them.
I would do the tree portrait , its sounds beautiful ,
and see if you can keep in touch with the families of the other children for the future.
don't tell them until they are older , and they ask you about the picture besides we don't really remember anything before kindergarten ,
and I know there's a book that Jamie Lee Curtis wrote for her adopted children .She was adopted too.
Tell Me Again About The Night I was Born, 1996
read this to them at bedtime , it may help.

take Care and God bless.

dar d

This is easy. She knows that she is not biologically yours from day one. Why is having siblings possibly traumatic? I don't believe that it is.

If she stayed with her bio, she would have to be told that she has siblings. Reveal it all. This isn't something that has changed or became an issue because she will be adopted.

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009

Sounds about right to me! lol

I have an extremely blended family. I'm adopted, I have 3 half brothers, 1 foster brother (who recently passed at 61 yrs old :( ). My brothers had a sister not related to me and a brother not related to me that is actually their step-nephew!! WHEW I ALSO have 3 unknown siblings from my birth family.

The family tree thing is a great idea. That way you can talk about it! lol

anya

well being adopted i really didn't know anything about my family. I was adopted with an older sister and i knew my brother because he was gonna get adopted too but didn't.. I had two older sisters which my sister remembered because she was old enough to remember but she thought they were dead which we didn't find out they were alive until i was 12 becuase my 2nd older sister found us. I think if the childern are really young and if you don't really know much about their sibilings and where they are tis best to wait until they are older or until at least you find them and know that they are ok. I mean if you want the 2 yr old to know about his/her siblings don't you think he/she would eventually want to know where they are and why they can't see them? That's a little too much for a 2 yr old to handle. I'd wait until he/she was a little older and able to understand a little bit more

well then id tell them if you would have mentioned the child was older then i wouldve said to go for it. now they are at an age where they can understand but it mught also be hard on them because they may ask questions like why didn't you adopt him too or stuff like that

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