How does adoption affect my dad?

My mom just married her boyfriend of 5 years. For those 5 years he has been my close father figure. He has been financially responsible, emotionally responsible and he's been a close friend. I see my biological father every other weekend but him and I have never been close and we really don't see eye to eye. I don't particularly like going to visit but I don't have the heart not to go. I want my step-dad to adopt me and he wants to also but I want to know what that means in relation to my biological father. I can't stand him but I love him, if that makes any sense. I don't want to hurt him but this is what I really want. Please help.
Additional Details
Okay...sorry..I didn't really explain my relationship with my father. I love him because he's my dad, but other than that I really don't like him. He's an abusive (verbally) drunk, he's dirty and obnoxious. He does have many good qualities but he drinks so much that no-one ever sees the good qualities. Him and I argue quite often and I feel bad about that because I know it hurts my younger sister. I know my step dad and I know that he wouldn't make me stop seeing my dad. Um, I think that's about all of the things that I wanted to clear up. Sorry for the confusion. But if my step dad adopts me my father won't have to pay child support anymore right? And like legal stuff like that...

Chloe Louise #1

DONT DO IT!!
it will kill your dad!
what are you thinking????
you can still love your step dad... but even with adoption he will NEVER be your real dad...
you said "I see my biological father every other weekend but him and I have never been close and we really don't see eye to eye. I don't particularly like going to visit but I don't have the heart not to go." how are u going to have the heart to tell him you dont want him to be your dad anymore???

Rowan

i think your father will be very hurt. Legally he will no longer be your father, and therefore he won't have any rights to you. Your stepfather, should he adopt you, would be able to keep you fro seeing him.

On the plus side, you will have the close father figure you've always wanted. I think you really need to discuss this with you mother and soon to be stepfather.

sam22254

.Look if your dad is that bad you need to tell your mom. You don't have to visit him or even have contact with him. Your right if your step dad adopts you then your dad stop paying child support and just maybe your mon is using that money to support you and your sister. Then your step dad will have to support you one Hundred percent. But what would happen if one day down the road the your mom and step-dad break up will he still want to go through what your dad is going through ever other weekend. How would you feel if your dad chose a woman over you and stop seeing you because she didn't like you. You would be hurt right well that's how he is going to feel. If he didn't love you then he wouldn't spend the time with you or pay child support like alot of men don't. Think twice on this ok.

Kai

I think you should write down your reasoning behind why you want your step-dad to adopt you. Bring these with you and have a conversation with your dad, but remember that this could hurt your relationship to your dad. Just because you are adopted by someone else does not mean that you have to stop seeing your biological father and you might want to tell him that you are still going to come around. Try to have an open conversation where you listen to each other before saying anything. This is a big step and will probably come as a shock to your dad. He could question what he did wrong as a father. He could also be angry and become distant. It all depends on your father's way of dealing with things. Just because you two do not seem eye-to-eye does not mean he does not love you or feel proud of you. But, this is all just my interpretation and I think you need to talk with your dad about this.

Miss E

SHAME ON YOU LADIES!! If this is what you truly want and you have really thought about it, then it is time to sit down and have a talk with the bio-dad WITH your Mom present.
I am the step-mom to 2 children. They have lived with their father and me for 4 years. They moved in before we got married. They like you do not want to see their mom on a regular basis, they just don't have the heart to tell her. She is not a drunk or abusive and she just recently committed to seeing them once a week, before it was more like once a month.
They would love to have me adopt them, but they are unwilling to tell her. She does not believe my husband when he tries to discuss this with them, it's going to have to come from them (they are now 11 & 16).
So if this is really what you want, it's time to make your voice heard. I know you said your stepdad would also want to adopt you, how does your mom feel about all this? You are not the only child affected by this, what does your sister think?
Is there anyway for all 5 (mom stepdad dad you lil sis) to sit down and discuss some of these issues? Sometimes this help.
Good luck and God bless.

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