How is adoption a controversial topic?

MamaKate

Dear Viv,

Adoption is controversial because, like most things, it is not black and white. It is a million varied shades of grey. Most people are only aware of the good things about adoption but it has a very dark side as well.

Adoption DOES bring joy, provides homes & families for children who might not otherwise have one and can be a beautiful thing. BUT, and it is a big BUT, adoption is also full of pain, sorrow and hurt and is RIFE with issues for ALL parties involved.

I hope you will stick around and learn for yourself what we are talking about!!

Looney Tunes

Just read some of the post on this section. Look at all the differences in beliefs in everything....international adoption, adoption vs. abortion, finding birth parents, etc etc etc.

Tons of controversial issues.

tickled blue

People adopt for a variety of reasons, some for very bad reasons. Adoption denies a child access to medical records and family history in many cases; many times adoption is rife with fraud, buying children, unethical practices, and neglegence. Adoption typically is presented as a 'better solution' than remaining with the natural parents...which is not always the case. Adoption is, in many cases, hidden from the child. Adoptive children often struggle with feeling left out, unwanted, neglected, abandoned, less than, not given the same rights afforded to every other US citizen, etc. There are numerous reasons...all of them valid to the person who has experienced the issue. Adoption can be a very helpful and wonderful thing....but it comes with a hefty price....the permenant separation of a child from his natural parents. Sometimes that is the right thing to do--in regards to abuse, neglect, severe and repeated trauma, etc.--but it is not always the case. The money spent on adoption...both domestic and international....could be better spent on programs and shelters and food and medicines and education, etc....so that more children could remain with their first parents. <<That isn't a popular opinion, but it remains true. In a 3rd world country, 30,000 goes a very long way. There are still many children who would need to be adopted regardless of programs and services....but it would be far fewer than the number we have today.

eharrah1

For me it is controversial because my rights as a baby were taken away before i was old enough to have a say. when a baby or child is adopted, they have no rights to know the birth parents nor do we have a say as to who gets us. laws need to be in place that at a certain set age, and if both parties agree, we as adopted children have access to our history and ancestory. It is not right that it is taken away from us with no say. We do not have a choice to being adopted, we do not have a choice to know our history, we do not have a chance to know our ancestory. we do not know who we came from, whether we have brothers or sisters. our choices are made by strangers who do not know us and we are given to strangers who then try to bend us to their will. we should have more choices and more say so in our future. after all, it is our future that all of these strangers are deciding.

lauren

it affects young lives, which eventually affect the world.

Penny A (Vanessa)

It is controversial because each party (the birth parent, the adoptee, and the adoptive parent) have a very strong case. For instance, birth mothers usually have very valid reasons for giving up their babies, adoptees have good reason to feel the things they feel, and adoptive parents often have a good reason for wanting to adopt.

So, with strong feelings and good reasons on every side, you are bound to see clashes here and there.

Lori A

babies have abandonment issues vs being clean slates

who should be grateful to whom and for what

having two sets of parents is confusing for an adoptee yet socially acceptable for children in step parent families

original birth certificates for adoptees vs non adoptees

the right to know and have a relationship with ones first parentsand syblings adoptee vs non adoptee no matter how old they get

what's better and for who opened or closed adoption

civil rights adoptee vs non adoptee

medical and ancestry information adoptee vs non adoptee

will abortion rates go up if record sealing is abolished

right to privacy laws for first parents adoptee vs non adoptee

celtic.piskie

They took away my name.

My identity.

The rest of my family.

They took away the right to ever contact them or ever say I was a part of that family.

That's why it's controversial. They can take away everything from us, without even thinking of us.

Even when we're adults, we're not allowed to decide.

Heather B

Sealed records stigmatize adult adoptees as people capable of causing harm.

Anna.

Because people have opposing opinions on it.
Like some people disagree with it and some think its great.

nurselaci

I guess it could be a controversial topic for alot of reasons. Some people look at it as doing what is best for the child. Other people look at it as not facing up to your responsibilities. Some want a baby no matter what, others think if it is not my Dna it's not mine. Mom that gave away her child. Jilted child. adoptee parents wandering if birth mom will appear. child asking to find birth parents. Every angle of this could get sticky if not handled with care.

onlyme212529

Now a days people want to accept abortion as a better option than adoption.For the simple fact that when aborted,the baby no longer exists for the parent,as for adoption the baby is living a better life somewhere else and the parent wonders who they are and what they became and all that. I don't see how people think it would be a constant burden on themselves to know their child was given a chance at life opposed to not being burdened by knowing that they terminated their own child.
Personally I would much rather know(if I ever were to give up any of my children which I won't) that my child is living a happy fulfilling life with someone who could provide it for them,rather than life with the guilt of terminating my baby for my own selfish reasons
Its like some people do not want to give their child to strangers and would prefer a stranger to terminate their own child for them for a hefty price. Its ridiculous

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