How many AP's have kept the name their natural mother gave their child?

myst1998

Wow, that is awesome you did this... it shows you are accepting the child for who they are and not who you wanted to make them into.

As adoption wasn't actually in MY plan for my child, I found out I was having a girl and agonised over her name and it came to me when I was 5 months/23 weeks pregnant with her. The AP's who took her (and yes, in my case they actually TOOK my child - long story see my blog for details) changed her name immediately regardless they knew she had been named and had had that name for a long time.

As in my daughter's case, sometimes when AP's chose to change the names of the children they are adopting, the name also comes with expectations of who they are and will be. My daughter was not yet born and they were telling me what she would be like and what she would like... this was very scary as I hadn't even settled on adopting her out yet let alone given birth!

So thank you for keeping the name given to your child by her natural mother. It is very important, more than people realise.

sweetjane

Ooh, when I first came to this section, I asked about changing the name for a very young child......the outrage made me think....and many people gave great suggestions. Many adoptive parents simply don't look at it through the eyes of the child.

Anyway, we kept the first and middle names....and we added a family name and our last name. So, technically he has 4 names....but that is far better than removing ANY name that his mom gave to him.

Heather B

Mine parents didn't change the first name my Mom gave me and I appreciate that more than words can say - it means alot to me.

People tend to say that changing a baby's name doesn't matter. I disagree. I was adopted as an infant and it mattered to me, I think it shows the utmost respect for the mother and child which in turn, makes for a closer relationship between adoptee/adoptive parents KWIM?

Sofiakat

I kept my kids names the same. I did however add a middle name to my daughter.

macadam

My daughter was 10 when I adopted her. I let her decide. She decided she wanted to change her name and we brainstormed a new first name for her. She picked the names, then we both had to agree upon them.

Interestingly, at 17, when she talks of things she did (she had a rough time of it in her early years), she'll say, "I did that when I was D." Like it is a line of demarcation.

Jennifer L

Yes, we kept their original names. Although to American ears, they sound rather unusual. My children's home country does not have a custom of middle names, so we let them choose American middle names. My son chose his (adopted) grandfather's name because he loves grandpa. My daughter chose the name of a favorite caregiver at the orphanage where she lived. We tacked on our surname at the end.

So their names go: (original first name) (chosen middle name) (original surname) (American surname).

Our agency was very adamant that children need to keep their original names.

Freckle Face

We kept their names.

Each child has created their own nicknames, usually a shorter version of their original name they can't say as a toddler. They are so cute that they stick as terms of endearment within the family.

maya, nanna, cc, ky ky

Cool Hal

my name was changed and I thank god every day

I hope my bio mum chose it knowing that it would change as it is really awful. My adopted name is better but not much hence most people call me Hal

Mom to Foster Children

We are keeping our sons first name the same.

1. that is his name
2. his mommy gave it to him
3. he has been called by this given name for almost 7 years
4. he looks like a "J"...

We are changing his middle name and obviously his last name - with his consent. He is aware of the change and is quite proud to be named after a man my hubby loved so very much that he (J) never got to meet.

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009

I didn't have an original name. My name is the one I have now.
I was adopted at 2 days old....

Heather Leigh

We changes our son's first name to the formal name. (from Danny to Daniel) Since he was 8, we gave him the option and he wanted to change it. We kept the middle name the same. We also considered leaving his last name as it was since it is the same as my bio children (He is a relative of my ex-husband) and my last name is hyphenated with this name burt he wanted to change it.

Knowing what I know now, I am not sure I would have given him the option of changing his first name. I like to think that I did not influence his choice, but I sometimes wonder if he only changed it to please us.

ladybmw1218

In the initial questionnaire DS's first mom sent us (before she asked to meet us), she asked about names we would choose and why we would choose them.

She liked the name we sent, and she started calling him that name before he was born, then she put it on his original birth cert.

I asked her what name she would have chosen, as I was happy to keep it...she said she hadn't found any she liked, hence including it on the questionaire.

ronimg

My brother adopted 2 kids (unrelated to each other). they kept their first names but added a middle name. The boy took "robert" as his middle name - which is my brother's name. The girl took "Rose" as her middle name - which is the middle name of my sister in law.

Rowan

my twin brother and i kept both our first and middle names. the only change made was our last name. At first, i was skeptical, because as i kid, i thought they had changed it, but i asked my bio father, and he said no, we kept our orginal names. Which to me, is great. I would have felt strange growing up with a different first and middle name.

BLW_KAM

When a little baby girl was three weeks old, her mom met these two really tall PAPs at a restaurant. With a quiet voice and huge brown eyes the mom asked, "Are you going to change her name?" The PAPs said, "No we aren't. You gave her a name and her name it will stay."

The PAPs changed her middle name to recognize the joy of the holiday season, but her first name is as it always was.

RPMR

My son asked to have his name changed! He is only 3 yo but he said he wanted to be Richard like his daddy! That was the sweetest thing in the world. How could we say no? We kept his first name as a middle name so he could keep his roots.

emamy

We adopted two children. They are siblings . We kept our daughter's name the same but gave our son another middle name. Our son was always called "DJ" because he was named Demeatrice Jr after his birth dad. We thought that after the adoption we would continue to call him DJ but the Jr would no longer have significance. We talked to him about it and gave him the choice between 3 different "J" names. He chose Joshua. We also thought it would be less confusing for him when people asked "What does DJ mean?"
I wish now we had changed the spelling of his name.
D-E-M-E-A-T-R-I-C-E is an awkward spelling and often confused.
We did not ask the BP because their rights were terminated 3 years before we adopted them.I am not even sure if my son's name is what the BP wanted to name him at first. He was taken into custody from the hospital and his parents refused to name him. He was 3 when he officially was given a name, although he was called "D.J. or Demeatrice by the social workers and foster families from the beginning.

shari b

I adopted my daughter from China. Even though her birthmother didn't indicate a name for her, the orphanage gave her a name. They named all the babies from that time the same surname and first name. The only name they had different from each other was the middle name, or the one that comes at the end of Chinese names. However, I loved her first name and kept it. I love her name and I think she does too!!!

angie

Well when, she first got pregnant. She picked out a name, but however.. She gave us the option to name him what we would like to. His name is written into a baby book. I will never hide anything from him. So when he gets old enough, I will give him the option, to keep the name he has now, or take the name she had picked out. Had, she asked me to give him, her name I would have gladly.

Mei-Ling

My mom kept my original name as my middle name. When I asked why, she said it was because she didn't want other kids to tease me or make me feel "spotlighted" out when teachers took attendance.

Wise idea. :)

Sophie

I kept my son's first name.
I changed his middle name to a VERY common [adoptive]family first name.
I changed his last name to my last name.

My son is 3 (almost 4). He knows where all his names came from, even the ones that were changed. I've explained why to him but ofcourse, he may or may not understand it right now. But, I've already told him that when he's older we can discuss his name and change it if he wants... I'm not against changing my last name to his original one just to keep "ours" the same, or not if he doesn't want that. We'll see when he is older.

I did have another name picked out entirely... but as soon as I heard his name, I knew that was HIM.

Randy B

We changed my oldest daughters name when she came to us. She had a heavily ethnic name from India and was not going to be raised there so we changed it to an Indian name that had a much more western sound. Its meaning also fit her situation better as well. Her original name translated to "protected by God" and the name we changed it to translated to "chosen by God". She was protected till we could adopt her when she was chosen for us. Seemed to fit and sounds more western with the connection to India.

Our second adopted daughter had a hyphenated name that really sounded like she should be living in a trailer park in the Ozarks. We dropped the hyphenated second part and use the one first name after that. She came to us as a 4 day old though so it was simple enough to change but still maintained the connection to the name her mother chose (came up with, put down on the spur of the moment, inflicted...depending upon her state at the time) for her.

In my case, my parents changed my name when I was adopted and I'm very glad they did. My bio mother chose a name for me that these days is a very feminine name. I would have changed it myself when I got older anyway.

mom of 4

I am in the process of adopting a child now and we were planning on changing his name he is 16 months old now. The name we have picked is similar to his given name we are just adding a Da to the beginning so that he fits in with our bio children as all their names start with a D.

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