How many adoptees have adopted?

Lillie

When I was younger, I actually really, really wanted to adopt.

I know, gasp, shock, awe, right?

I think it was a kind of a "pay it forward" kind of thing, when I was deep in the fog and feeling like adoption was this "wunnerful" thing and I actually bought into the whole "I was saved" and "they gave me away because the looooooved me soooooo much" stuff.

But then I put the kool-aid back on the shelf and started hitting the tequila bottle, and lo and behold, the fog lifted and it was a beautiful day.

Now? I would never adopt a child. At least not domestic infant adoption, as I was, where my mother was coerced and lied to and treated like crap for the sole purpose of obtaining a chunk of human baby flesh to sell to paying customers. Nope, I will not contribute to that industry.

I might consider foster care someday, but as for now, I couldn't do it because of my long work hours and inability to be there for the child(ren). It's bad enough that I don't see my own offspring as much as I want to; I'd want to be able to devote more time to a child who has had to lose his/her family and is already hurting.

But I feel very strongly against a practice that seals and alters birth certificates, that treats human beings like second class citizens, that denies them their very basic rights...I'd have a hard time adopting if it meant that their past would be erased from them.

I can love a child without needing that piece of paper, and I could continue to love and provide for that child regardless if that child's last name was the same as mine or not.

So for me, if anything, I would foster but not erase their history through adoption.

DevonChaos

Personally, as an adoptee, I wanted to have biological children, because I felt no real link to my adoptive parents. I longed my whole life for someone who resembled me, not just in looks. When my first daughter was born, I was stunned to see that she looked just like me in my baby pictures. This was a feeling that I had never had before. I had never gazed on a blood relative, and it was the single most amazing experience I had. Each of my children have my (and my husband's) mannerisms and looks, and this is something that I had never even thought possible. I grew up not looking or sounding like anyone around me.
Of course, this is not to say that later in my life I won't try to foster children. Right now though, I have my hands full with the children I'm already blessed with.
Before giving birth to my children, I never felt like I wanted to adopt because I personally had such a hard time with it, I was afraid of how I would handle those feelings in someone else. At the time, I didn't think I would be the best person out there to take on those challenges. In a few years when my children are in college, this might change, but until then, I am quite content where I am.

Looney Tunes

I was not adopted, but I was raised in foster care.

Yes, I will adopt as many as I can from foster care, when I get a little older. I love kids and there are so many in foster care (150,000) that need a home. I don't care what race, age, or gender. Every child in foster care that wants a home and a family deserves one and I think I can provide it.

Would I adopt children that are NOT in foster care or IA....NOPE

I believe that I will actually be a great parent to foster kids, because I was a foster kid and lived the system. I understand alot of their behaviors, their pain, their acting-out, their fear, their confusion, and their real desire to be loved and cared about. I think it will be hard, but great and I think growing up like I did will help them.

Mei-Ling

Ohhh... this is such a conflicting question.

I used to think, "OMG Why would a person who feels so much loss about their bio family EVER want to adopt, knowing that they will contribute to the loss of that would-be adopted child?"

However, I've really changed my method of thinking due to various factors.

1.) There will always be adoption.

2.) If an adoptee decides to adopt, they will have a higher chance of understanding what their child may feel.

So I don't think it's a bad thing - quite the contrary, I'd encourage adoptees to adopt.

Actually, I'd do it too (not that it's even near feasible at this point in time). But if there was ever that possibility, I'd adopt internationally because I KNOW how it feels to be separated from your birth culture, your mother tongue and not really "knowing" who your family is.

Don't die of shock now. :P

Rowan

I have considered adoption, because i've been there, and my experience was positive. I had a good childhood, my parents loved me and my twin as much as they did their own children(2 biological kids, 13 and 11 years older then us). I didnt feel a loss, i felt a gain.

But, i would like to say that just because a person is adopted, doesnt make them a perfect AP.

Crucio

Well I would like to one day adopt from foster care if able. Iâ€™ve known since I was 14 or 15 that if able to one day that I would adopt. The thing is going through an agency never even occurred to me. I got adopted through the foster care system so I just always felt that I would adopt from there.

I donâ€™t know that being an adoptee would make me a better adoptive parent. Thatâ€™s mainly why I read the good, bad and in between of other adoptees feelings , experiences. So that if I do adopt one day that I can help my child(ren) out as best as I can, which ever way they happen to fall. Iâ€™d just try to be the best parent to any children that came into my life whether through adoption or birth, that I could be.

me-wa

I think that is a good idea. some people that are adopted have no difficulties, but many of them have a deep sense of abandonment, among other things. This is a complex, far reaching subject, and I think that is a good idea. BUT what if an adoptee adopts a child? That new parent may expect their child to feel the same as them, thus isolating the child emotionally anyway. So in the end, I think it depends on the quality of the parent being open to any
"issues", that they child may have, not whether they were adopted or not.

sunny

Perfect AP? Hell no.

I was raised by other people parents, so in the second half of my life I want to raise my own children.

Anna.

I'm not sure.
It's possible I guess.

If I was to adopt, i would only adopt
And vice versa if i was to have my own kids then I wouldn't adopt
Because for me there was alot of jealousy of my adopted siblings.

Randy B

I was adopted myself and my wife and I have adopted two thus far, one from India and the second as through foster care. I don't how if I'm better suited to be an adoptive parent or not because I was adopted myself. I prefer to put the credit to my mom and dad for raising me the way they did.

Daniel's Mommy is sad

I'm sorry but what losses are those? I was adopted and I didn't lose anything, in fact I gained everything. I had an excellent childhood with 2 very loving parents who wanted me. I think that is perfect. No loss here.

Doctor

As an adoptee i hope to adopt someday. My parents were the best thing that happened to me. I hope to be a great parent.

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