How many people who believe Americans should adopt domestically before looking international have adopted?

I mean really, if you are that adament about the necessity of finding homes for the children in foster care why are you not adopting them? I am sure a few people who push domestic adoption over international adoption have adopted domestically from foster care but I believe most of the people that push domestic adoption first have never done it. It's just a soap box they use to critisize others.

People have their reasons for adopting international and I am sure it is right for their family. Maybe one of the parents is from another country and they want to bring a child into their family of that nationality. Maybe they have been on trying to adopt for a number of years and are tired of waiting. Maybe their God is leading them in that direction.

I started off the entire adoption process looking at domestic infant adoption, after checking into it with several agencies I had to look outside the US. If you want to critisize international adoption try adopting domestically.
Additional Details
To BPD Wife: Yes I did adopt internationally more than three years ago. I was a foster parent for two children whom I would have adopted.I started the China adoption after having them placed with me. Originally I told DFCS I wanted to "Foster Only" because I was committed to my China adoption and had been for a couple of years. They needed to place these siblings together and I was the person they wanted to place them with. After having them 10 months my job required me to move one state over and DFCS would not allow me to bring them with me.I moved to another state, waited for my referral, traveled and was home a year with my 12 mth old by the time the courts terminated parental rights and they were free for adoption. I fought to adopt those children even after coming home with my baby. The state refused to do the paper for the interstate compact. My poor foster son still waits to be adopt but his sister was adopted by the foster family who had them after I moved.

dad2elizaveta

This is a very hot and debated topic. It is in the press a lot due to Hollywood stars adopting internationally. Now there is a lot of press about Russia being "closed" to international adoptions to the U.S. However, that is not true. There just happens to be no accredited agencies in the U.S. to be able to work with Russia right now. Private adoptions still occur in Russia.

I agree with you. There seems to be a lot of people who believe if you are going to adopt, it should be domestically. My family just adopted a 6 year old girl from Russia in December 2006. So, she's been in this country for 6 months. She is doing wonderfully! She is a wonderful addition to our family. Our 2 sons love her, our family just loves her, she is still the talk of the town, everyone in her elementary school wants to be around her... and of course my wife and I love her dearly.

This is how our story ended. It did not start this way. We decided to adopt and looked into the Foster Care system. We got all the necessary training to become foster parents, got our homestudy completed and looked all over the U.S. for our little girl. DFS in our state is less than forthcoming. They were not willing to work with us. After filling out tons of paperwork on what type of child we would and would not consider, DFS kept sending us children we were not interested in. That may seem cold to some, but I am not the parent-of-the-decade in that I was willing to adopt a child; any child. We had an image in mind of who we wanted.

We found several girls in other states' Foster Care system, but because we were in another state, they would not even look at our application. They would rather find a family in their own state.

We networked with many foster parents. Some have been fostering for less than a year up to 10 years. A few loved it, a few were doing it out of duty for children who have no family and many were tired and trying to get out. The Foster Care system in this country is a wonderful idea. However, the practice is very flawed! These poor children are removed from their home, put into a foster home, moved to another home, given back to their parents, taken back away into another foster home, and on and on. Sure, there are wonderful stories as well, but my experience is not very pleasant with the Foster Care system.

When we decided to adopt from Russia, peopel asked WHY? "Why would you adopt from another country when we have children right here who need a family?!" Even some of our family asked us that!!! A lot of our answers to that question are stated above. However, the most important reason is because domestic adoptions in this country CAN be a legal nightmare. We have a friend who adopted their foster child and the state later gave custody back to the birth mother. And this was after 18 months. I have heard too many statistics about adoptions being overturned because the birht mother wants the child back.

We were not going to take a chance like that. Even when an adoption from Russia is $30,000+ and a domestic adoption is $5,000 or less... we were not going to take that chance.

What worked for our family will not work for everyone. Call me selfish, but I chose the route that worked best for us. And that was to adopt Elizaveta from Russia. No doubt has ever entered my mind.

I am with you on this one... Each family wishing to adopt has to make a very hard decision. They are embarking on a very long and emotional process. Domestic or international? It's only up to you if you are the one making that decision.

Carly

I understand where you're coming from but I believe that people should adopt from whereever their heart leads them whether that be the United States, China or Africa. Its really a personal choice.

eredmyth

This is EXACTLY how *I* feel: For those of you that think we should adopt domestically before going international... how many children have you adopted domestically through foster care?

BPD Wife

I agree with you. While I do wish that the children in this country could be adopted before international children, the truth is that our government doesn't make it easy to adopt children here. Whether it be the cost, or the laws protecting the adoptive family, etc., it is not easy to adopt here. I know because we did, and we were involved with the foster care program in NJ also. If we chose to do it again, we would not rule out international adoption simply for the fact that we've heard it is much easier and the chance of the government trying to return the child to the biological family isn't there as much as it is here.

You said you started the adoption process, but didn't say if you have finalized it yet. Either way - congratulations and good luck! It can certainly be a stressful journey, but it is worth every minute of it when you bring your child home!

nsanders522

I think that the great thing about adoption is that there really is something for everyone. Some people are more comfortable with certain things that others may not be. Travel, for example, is something that may eliminate some families or encourage others. Some may look forward to adding a new culture to their family while others may prefer to blend more.

I don't think anyone should be criticized for their choices. I always encourage people to do as much research as they can. Understanding of socio-economic conditions around the world may affect your choices.

Marie C

As a parent of three internationally adopted children, I totally agree with you!

Teacher

My husband and I are about to adopt two boys who are in foster care, age 9 and 10. We live in Canada, and they live in the same province. If we wanted an infant, we would have to wait, or go through private or international adoption.

We both feel that we need to help our own before we help those internationally.

rachael

i do feel we have plenty of children domestically that need homes, and it does make sense if you are looking to adopt to look into this, but i dont knock anyone that chooses to go international. each family is different and have a choice what they want to do, no one has any right to condem them for that.

personally, if i wanted to adopt i think i would look domestically, but that doesnt mean my way is the best way. people that are being so critical need to realize it flat out is none of their business, they control their life and their decisions, not anyone elses.
i hope your adoption story had a happy ending either way

Barbara C

I don't have very many concerns about international verses domestic adoption. For one thing, not all kids in foster care are available for adoption.

What I think is sadder is all of the people who only want to adopt an infant or toddler. I wish more people would consider adopting older children.

belle_glamour

Either way, you're doing something that deserves praise. Domestically or internationally, you're still making a difference and helping out. I'm a mother of 5. 3 adopted, 2 twins.

pinks

I was a child in foster care my whole life. I completly believe that couples who want babies or kids should get children from the usa. They try to say children in other countries have it worse and need help more but that is not true! I was in care forever, we were treated like animals, ate the same food they give inmates, wore clothes out of shared closets. Most of us didnt have underwear or shoes of our own. This was in the late 90s early 2000s, so dont let someone try to tell you its not like that anymore because it is. Most of those kids are there for reasons beyond thier control, and it's not fair to them or the future of our own country to leave them behind completly forgotten.

jamessmith4_19

I think that some of it is cost. I think it cost less to adopt from another country. I am also tired of people just wanting to adopt the babies and they don't seem to care about you if you are over eight or nine. There should be a price cut for older kids.

Jennifer S

I am completely 100% in adopting local before going global!!!

Jenni Butter

I feel you should adopt domestically before internationally. Why not help the kids in YOUR country??????

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