How "long" have you been seeking your birth family members &?

Possum

'Passively' searching all my life.
Daydreaming. Looking at random people's faces. Going through my a-mums documents for any clues. Waiting for my first mother to come looking for me.

'Actively' searching since I was 26.
I applied for and received my OBC and adoption info from our local government dept (records are open here in Australia - and you can apply for them once you turn 18) - then sat on that info for almost 10 years. (I felt I wasn't ready to search more at that stage - I was pregnant with my first - and I went on to have 3 daughters - I kept myself busy - and put the search on the bottom of my 'to do' list)
Two years ago - I finally took up the search again - and it took me 2 months to finally find my bio family.
I found a family tree on the internet - which gave me my mother's married name - then I matched that info to the phone directory - then bingo - I had it.
It's now been 2 years - and things have been rocky - but right now - things are going ok - slowly - but ok.

I think with the advent of so much info on the internet - searching will become easier and easier for the younger generation of adoptees.
I think also - many adoptees put off the search through their 20's and early 30's - as it's a busy time - real life - jobs / university / partners / children.
Just my opinion - from the many adoptees I know.
(of course - not all are the same)

It's can be soul destroying - this searching business.
Adoptees put themselves on the line to search - all very scared of rejection a second time around.

ETA: I'm 38 now.

Heather B

All my life I've been searching faces and daydreaming - searching.

Officially searching since I was 18 with just a birthdate and State. About 10 years after that legislation came in that allowed for "non-id" to be released which was a few crumbs from the adoption file, but no names. Parents' Height, eye color, hair color, religion, nationality. Not alot but it means so much

Still searching, I'm 37 now

ETA I was born in New York: raised in the UK

Jelly tots

I was lucky enough to find my birth family within 3 years. I had loads of info to go on though, as I was entitled to my adoption file when I was 18.
Unfortunatly its not the same for other people in other countries and I hope that one day, every adoptee will have the choice to see information about their own past!!!!

kaluah96

i've been actively looking fo rmy mother sense i was 19 i will be 30 in two weeks and i just found her saturday *jumping up and down* i started with nothing my a mother had all of my paperwork but i never saw it til my son was about 6 and i was snooping then. I did get my original birth certificate from kasas but that's about it.

LaurieDB

I actively searched for six months before locating my natural family members. They, on the other hand, had actively searched on and off for years. I think it's harder to find the adoptee than the natural parents, unless your state has a confidential intermediary system in place. There was no CI system in our state, California.

Anyway, I started with the information on my amended birth certificate such as place of birth, including the hospital.
I also had my non-identifying information, which gave me first names only and general descriptions of them. That was it. Although, I now know that in my case I'd have been able to find them even without the first names. It would have been a little more difficult, but I'd have been able to do it.

amyburt40

I have been searching for ten years now. State of Indiana.

mommy2squee

I can't remember not wanting to know.

My active search was about six months. I started with my first and middle names at birth, date of birth, and name of adoption agency.

maidenmary22

we just found out that my sister in law has a half brother she never knew about it. she isn't computer savvy so i'm helping her search. I keep hitting dead ends. We have the birth mother and fathers names, the hospital, the date, the adoption agency and the religion of the adoptive family. we also know that the dr. assisted with the adoption. But since my sister in law's mother is deceased (the birth mother) we're having a hard time figuring out where to start. Does anyone have any suggestions??

cruzgirlz3

I just started in the past month. I was born in Oregon so for a small fee I was able to apply to get my original birth certifcate. It should arrive any day (yikes). Other than that I have just put in my name into a couple of the "mutual"search sites. I'm 42, have never wanted to look but have been prompted by a medical issue with my daughter.

mlassi65

My search took 20 years. I only had a name, no age, no place of birth for her etc.

medge97

I started with only my birthdate...but I got lucky because I knew the agency thru which I was adopted. and for the bargain price of $250 they would do the search for you. it took about 3 months for them to find my mom

Hot Boi

its sad when you hear things like this, but on a positive note, the experience you gain from searching your family members, you meet interesting people and hopefully in the end, you get to find them

Good Luck buddy :D

Kym M

I started to find out after I had my 1st child at 19. I had a friend that had information she got for me but then it mysteriously disappeared after my mother was babysitting for me. Then a couple of years ago I started to search again. I got a call from a man from adoption telling me I had all these things I had to do to find out but have now lost all that info since we moved. I know my birth mother's name and date of birth and that's about it. :)

iluvsunsets

I found them when I was 19. My adoptive mother- RIP- was getting a nasty divorce and so my adoptive Dad found out who they were and sent them info. about me to try to hurt her. Crazy,huh ! Anyway, I found out they were 15 when they had me. They got married 2 1/2 yrs. later and had my brother. He was raised by my birth families grandmother because everybody was too busy to raise a child. He is always in trouble with the law even though the family has $ . I just found out my birth father had another son, from my birth mothers best friend, that is 2 months older than me. Great ................... They like to flash their $$ around and have little real family time for me or their only grandson. The family that raised me was WONDERFUL but all dead now. When we visit for X-mas my mother rents hotel rooms or suites. She is better to her maid than us. I have known this family for 22 years. My grandfather on my Dads side just passed away. It was the weirdest funeral I have ever been to. I was hurt when somebody came up to me and said "Oh I didn't know your Dad had 2 kids" ! I was about to say he has 3 ! A man also came up to my birth dad and said he thought my grandfather only had 1 child ! GEEZ................... Anyway, there are 3 sons. One of them was completely written out of the will for only being a half brother ! I also was not in the family trust but hey I expected that. I also had to hear my birth dad telling my birth mom that there were 6 plots in the cemetery- yea you guessed it none for me ! Be careful what you ask for !!!!! Love the family who loved you enough to give you a nice life !!! You could get really hurt in the end !!!

origamimark

I haven't been doing this. You must have mistaken me for someone else.

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