How to adopt or foster or help children in general? ?

I know someone, a dear friend with a great big heart who grew up in a bad situation. She was in and out of foster care, back and forth to her mother's house. It was just sad.

At 18 years old (mere weeks after 18th bday) she was arrested, convicted of a felony and did 1 yr in jail and on parole for 2 years. She is now in her 30s and has not been in trouble since. She is a changed person, completely. Even when she was arrested, she was a good person - just in an icky situation.

She really wants to help children who were in the same situation as her, wants to be the person that she wishes she had as a child. The laws prevent her from working with children, adopting or fostering. I feel so absolutely horrible for her. Her heart aches to help children.

I have no advice for her. I would tell her just to have her own baby, but I have the feeling that she wants to help a child who has been thrown away, not create a new one.

Any advice or anything? My heart breaks for her as I know her heart has a huge hole in it.
Additional Details
I believe that you have to pass a criminal check to work with children at all, even the ones no one will touch (this is from what she has said, I have not done my own research)

monkeykitty83

Unfortunately, with the felony it's unlikely there's any way she can work with children. I even had to have a criminal background check done to volunteer for Big Brothers/Big Sisters. No reputable organization is likely to waive that.

Given the amount of time that has passed, her age at the time of conviction, and her genuine remorse, there is a chance it might be possible for her to have her record expunged or get a pardon. Then legally, it would be like it never happened. I suggest she talk to a lawyer about those options.

If that isn't possible, it's unlikely she could work with kids. Maybe she could try finding a place to volunteer with helping animals? It's not the same, but if the possibility of helping children is off the table, maybe it would be better than nothing to be helping defenseless creatures?

Independ"ant"

See if she could work with helping the homeless or elderly. Many elderly people in nursing homes just stare at the 4 walls all day without visitors.

Flying Monkey #073177

I have a dear friend in a very similar situation. She was in care for many years before she aged out. Her only want in this world is to become a youth worker but that will never happen, she has a history with child welfare due to living in, and trying to leave, an abusive relationship many years ago. I don't know what to tell her either. The best I have come up with is trying to get work with organizations that assist kids in care without being in direct contact with the children, think administrative, fundraising and clerical type jobs.

lish

Thats really sad. I feel sorry for ur friend. Iv no answers though why not work with teenagers that have been through it, or is she not allowed? Get a job in the prison system, young offenders, helping them mend their ways etc etc. I dont know she should actually get legal advice on this.

bash

I'm confused as to why the 'laws prevent her from working with children'?? This happened more than a decade ago....what would make her still ineligible to be around children??

If you mean that she has a criminal record, and that that could make it difficult to get a job with kids, I don't think that prohibits her at all--especially if she explains the situation she was in at the time and has no further record. She won't be able to adopt or foster in most states, but that doesn't mean she couldn't work with kids....she may simply have to apply at several locations. She could be a guardian ad litem, she could be a therapist, she could be a Big Sister to a child in need. She could work with hispanic children as an ESL assistant, she could work with children as a substitute teacher or a teacher's aid, become a tutor....I am sure there are many other examples.

JoJo

awww bless her that is so sad. maybe she could get involved helping teenages or young adults in bad situations like she was when she got into trouble? or maybe she could do voluntary work i dnt know if thats possible? i grew up in bad situation 2 and still in it! would like to help 2 wen im able t. i know how she feels helpin sum1 in same situation so they have the person she never had. maybe she could set up website and talk to kids on there if they access t net and write advice frm her own experience? really hope things get better and work out for her.

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