How to find out if you are adopted - when no one will tell.?

My husband was supposedly born in Texas at the same hospital as his siblings. We did a serch of county records and there is no record of him. All 3 of his siblings were listed, but not him. His family will not talk to us now because he has questioned things. We have no way of knowing his real name, birthdate, birth city or state. His mother kept us away from his Grandpa (the only one who would've talked) who lived with her then claimed he died 300 miles away, but said she didn't have a funeral for him. She flipped out when we asked for his Birth certificate so he could get a passport (she never gave it to him). We ordered one from the state and they sent a "Certification of Vital Statistics". She wouldn't give him his SS card when we needed it for a home loan, then she gave him one that looked nothing like mine (same age, same state). So we do have pleanty of reason to doubt, we just have no clue where to begin.
Additional Details
When we got the "Certification of Vital Statistics" it looked nothing like a Birth Certificate and it did not say wether it was amended or not. He asked her what hospital he was born in and she screamed at him "What, now you don't believe me about that?!? I have a souvenir birth certificate that I got in the gift shop that has a plastic sleve that your picture slides in and out of that PROVES you were born there!" Okay, we both looked at eachother and agreed that was the stupidest thing either of us had ever heard. She also told him a "story" about when she was in the hospital she heard a baby crying and at the time said that she felt bad for that baby and she would take it so it wouldn't cry and it turned out to be him. Yes, I know, crazy! We just need to find out where to start looking for info. They do not talk to him at all anymore. The few time over the last 2 or 3 years he has called any of them (sister, brother, mother, father) all they do is scream at him.

Heather B

Look at the Date it was filed with vital statistics. If there is a period of time between the birthdate and the filing date, it is more than likely an amended certificate.

Make sure you ask for a 'full long-form birth certificate' they contain more details than the short form.

I'm so sorry if your hubby has been deceived in this way, there is no excuse for secrets and lies. None.

There are other things he can do to discover the truth. You may find the information on this site helpful. Apply for Non-Identifying information and join the registries, this will give you an answer either way; and I would suggest finding his birth on the Texas birth index too

http://www.geocities.com/tmusso.geo/states/texas.html

Joy M

get a copy of his birth certificate from vital statistics and look for a notation that says "ammended" on it.

DH69

What on earth is a Certification of Vital Statistics? You asked for a Birth Cerificate. I would go back and say this isn't what I asked for, can I have my Birth Certificate? If they can't give you one, then ask why? If you get nowhere, then it definitely looks fishy. Everyone has a birth certificate, even if it is not the original.

Aside from expensive investigators, the only people who will know are those directly involved. It sounds as if they are hiding something. If things are so bad that his family are not talking to him then he has nothing to lose. Try to arrange a meeting with is mother, say you don't want to argue, but need to sit down and resolve things. Explain that you have no desire to cut anyone out and his mother is his mother, BUT, she is doing nothing to make him feel secure, and he believes he may be adopted. If she can be made to see that she has more chance of losing him as a son by keeping him in the dark, than by telling him the truth and letting him find his heritage, she may just open up.

Otherwise, what about old neighbours or family friends from when they were children - someone must know!

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

>>>His family will not talk to us now because he has questioned things.>>>

bingo. they're running scared. and they are lying. i wouldn't be remotely shocked to find out he's adopted.

Torrejon

Welcome to adoption.

I have an "amended" birth certificate that lists my adoptive parents as if they were my biological progenitors. And it was registered with the county clerk almost a year after my birth when my adoption became finalized. Most people don't notice that my birth certificate is weird. But if you look closely and you know what to look for the hints are there.

Y'know...maybe it is just time to sit down with his mom and ask for the truth. If it were me, I'd tell her this is her ONE and ONLY chance to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I'd advise her that if you find out anything contradictory or very different in the future you will then know that she willingly lied to you during the talk. I think an important question to ask her is WHY she is being so secretive...

Romany

Definitely have him request his long form birth certificate from the state. Original birth certificates are signed by the doctor/midwife who was present at the birth. Amended birth certificates are signed by the clerk and sometimes by the adoptive parents. Another option is to contact the Surrogates or Family Court in the county his adoptive parents resided when he was born/adopted. Unfortunately, some courts won't release any information without the adoptive parents permission - no matter what the age of the adoptee. Try to get a Certificate of Adoption. It won't have his original name or his birth parents' names, but it will be incontrovertable proof that he was adopted.

Jackie B

The certificate of birth and the certificate from vital statistics are the same thing. Whether you are adopted or not, when you order a new copy of your birth certificate it will look different from year to year as the office changes forms but there will not be a difference between an adopted child's and a biological child's birth certificate.

The best place to start in Texas is here:

http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/vs/reqproc/adoptionregistry.shtm

just say that he is adopted and register, that way if he is and his parents or birth family is searching for him the #'s will match up (ie: DOB) and the computer will make the connection.

The other thing is that SS cards for adopted people are the same as everyone else. Have him order a new one from the SS office (they are free) and you get one at the same time, you will see that there is no difference between the two.

Where I live, in Oregon, we have laws that allow adopted people to open their sealed records, see if there is anyone working in your state to make it happen, and if so tell as many people as you can so that the laws get passed. Here, we file the paperwork, pay the fee, see the counselor, then we can see our whole "pre-adoption

May have to hire a PI to investigate. Can't believe they won't be up front. Could he have been kidnap?

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