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Gershom
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he'd have to prove coercion or how he was forced to sign the papers against his will or else his chances are useless. Once an adoption is finalized, he's pretty much out of luck.
I'd bet majority of the cold heartless answers on this question are from AP's. There is too little education done on the consequences of surrendering children to adoption and its effects on all parties.
If this was a recent surrender, he "SHOULD" ( and I quote that because he most likely doesn't ) have the ability to reclaim his rights to his child. How ANYONE could KEEP a child away from a parent who wants to raise it is beyond me. What will the AP's tell their child when he/she grows up and finds out his parent wanted him/her? That would have saved a heck of a lot of grieving and heart ache that blueprints adoptees for lifetimes. I was furious and still am to know that my mother tried reclaiming me and was lied to by Social Services saying I was already with my "forever family" when infact I was in a foster home.
To anyone who doesn't believe that coercion exists google "coercion and adoption" www.bse.com read "girls who went away" google first parent blogs so that you can see how modern day coercion exists. |
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Britney
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How long has he/she been adopted for? If longer than three years I'm sorry to say that there is no way he can get him/her back. The birthparents are given a certian amount of time to decide wheater or not they want their child. And I'm sorry but it'd be expecially cruel to the adoptive parents and the child if you took the child back! These parents adopted him or her and they are the only parents the child knows. Please tell your cousin to let him or her stay with their adoptive family. If it was an open adoption, they can write letters and send pictures. And after the child is 18, he or she can find your cousin if they wish.
My husband and I had a baby boy for seven months and then right before the final papers were signed the birthparents changed their mind forcing us to give back the baby. I know it'll hurt for the adoptive parents.
And I noticed every answer has a thumbs down, you asked for advice, you have to take it.
Good luck and God Bless. |
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ladybmw1218
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He will need to contest the adoption on the grounds of coercion...it's not easy to prove though if he is an adult of sound mind. He will need to demonstrate how he was "forced" |
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MS A
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Pretty much forced? Did someone hold a gun to his head?
The mother didn't put the child up for adoption - they both did. He signed the paper. Now he regrets his decision. Actions have consequences.
He shouldn't make this child pay for his mistake. I can understand wanting to have contact with her, but taking her away from the only family she has ever known is cruel and selfish. |
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Kristen C
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It depends on the laws in the state and how long the child has been with the adoptive family. I know this may sound harsh, but I say this as a member of a family with several adopted children (2 cousins and 3 siblings). Once the child has been placed with the adoptive family and they've bonded, it's cruel to try to take the child away. My brother was 5 before his adoption was finalized, his mother hadn't seen him since he was 3 months old. We were always a little afraid that he'd get sent back to her. |
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Lo
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how are you forced to sign adoption papers? he made a desicion. he would be selfish to get that kid back. to totally turn the kids world upside down? those adoptive parents are the only parents that child knows. If he wants to find his child he should try when he/she turns 18. Thats only fair to the parents. There is such things as an open adoption, so if he really cared about this child in the first place he would have made sure that the adoption was open, so he could still get pictures, updates, and maybe yearly visits. No sympathy |
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cmc
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If he signed the papers I doubt he can get the child back. He should talk to a lawyer, but it would have to be proven that he was coerced and/or that he didn't understand what he was doing. |
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JoHn S.
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It's kinda hard to give reasonable advice with such little detail. Can you provide more? |
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Tiana
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Like Britney said, she's with a family now and she's happy.
No one forced him to sign the papers unless they held a gun to his head or threatned to posion him.
They BOTH put the child up for adoption so therefore he can't get his baby back. |
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kirst_iom
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He'd have to search for her, is she already found a family if so will she accept you if you tell her that your her real parents and you put her up for adoption, if shes really happy with her new family isnt that all that matters. |
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Sweetharttt
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If all papers were signed legally, there is nothing he can do to get the child back. Sorry. |
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Crucio
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How long ago was the child adopted? He might be able to benefit from reclaim period. Otherwise unless he can proof that he was forced to sign the adoption papers giving up his rights, which is probably going to be hard to do. Your cuz is likely going to be up the river with no paddle. It would be totally different had he not signed anything.
I’m sorry but ones actions have consequences people should think this things through. |
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CRUELTY_FREE
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NO ANSWERS HERE TALK TO A LAWYER. |
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kblbellamy
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They have 1 year to come back and say "NO I want her back". After that it is final, she's gone. He shouldn't have signed if he really didn't want to. |
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Doodlestuff
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You don't say how long ago this was. He needs to get a lawyer immediately because there are very strict time limits on how long you have to change your mind. He should see a lawyer TOMORROW, especially if it's been less than 6 months. You can have an adoption vacated if it hasn't been finalized. If possible, he needs to get visitation as well, because the latest gambit is to delay, delay, delay so that the a-parents or adoption agency can claim that the child is now bonded. Too bad.
Ignore the comments about being cruel to the adoptive parents. It's unfortunate, but it is your baby. It is also not cruel to the child to be with his/her natural parents. Babies adjust just fine. |
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MamaKate
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Dear Jane,
Your cousin needs to seek the advice of a REPUTABLE attorney who specializes in contested adoptions and is licenced to practice in the state(s) the birth and/or adoption occured ASAP. Laws are different everywhere and you need someone who is both experienced and understand your cousin's adoption situation indivudually. Your cousin should be aware he is more than likely in for an emotional, expensive and lengthy engagement. He also needs to be able to prove that he is a fit parent! <------- SUPER IMPORTANT!
I would encourage both parties to attempt to form some type of relationship (unless one party or the other were a danger to the child or were unhealthy for the child in some way), as BOTH sets of parents (no matter what the outcome) has a PERMANENT and SIGNIFIGANT place in the child's life and history - ESPECIALLY if there are bonding issues.
Your cousin can seek help, support and resources through a number of organizations.
http://www.fathers-4-justice.org/f4j/
http://realfathersforjustice.org/
http://www.menstuff.org/resources/resourcefiles/fathers.html
http://adoptionthreads.com/
I sincerely hope that everything works out in the best way the child! Good luck to your cousin and yourself, I hope the final solution works for all of you as well. |
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Rainia W
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There is probably nothing he can do. Plus, it is pretty hard to sign the adoption papers unless there is a gun to your head, but maybe I am just being judgmental, I just have never understood when people have said that they were forced.
He could search for the daughter, and if he felt she was unhappy then he could take steps to have social services step in, but unless the daughter was ACTUALLY unhappy then it would be much to traumatic for everyone involved to try to take her back if you ask me. |
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Independ"ant"
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It gonna cost you because the Ap's will not want to give up their possession. Its like trying to pry a doll out of a little girls arms.
Get a legal team together and go for it. Use the news media and /or private detectives to dig up any bit of nasty information to use against them. |
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