How to open my closed adoption so i can find my parents?

Possum

Most states in the USA have sealed records for life - meaning - no matter what your age - you can't get them.
But - there are ways around it - and many adoptees search and reunite without those records.
Here's where to start -

First - add your details to the registries here
http://www.isrr.net/
http://registry.adoption.com/

Check for information on your state records here -
http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?page_id=39
Apply for non identifying info if you can get it - check with the adoption agency that was used if you have that info.

Check here for search help - and links to search angels -
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

And check here for any support - it's the best online forum for adoptees I've found - you are NOT alone -
http://www.adultadoptees.org/

All the very best with your search.

Freckle Face

Dear Tash,

Possum gave you really good advice. Many adoptees want to search for their parents. You have a right to call any of your parents whatever you wish.

44 states in the U.S.A. have closed records, but don't let that stop you. Follow Possum's advice. Good luck with your search.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

don't listen to je june/suzy/yourmom or whatever part of her split personality tries to insult you.

i always called my bio parents my real parents. and no, it doesn't mean i don't love my aparents!

come join us at adultadoptees.org. we're kewl:)

Heather B

That would very much depend on where the birth and adoption took place.

In most countries of the world blood relatives of adoptees are free to contact each other.

However, in the USA there remains a very archaic system of sealed adoption records - hopefully soon they will catch up with the rest of the civilized world and restore the rights of all it's citizens to the freedom of association promised to them under a democracy.

Anyway, if it happened in the USA (as mine did) there are a handful of States where hard-working Equal Rights activists have brought about changes in the law, but unfortunately 44 States remain sealed.

The good news is that sealed records don't stop people searching and they don't stop reunions (they just violate people's rights) I digress

So, let us know which State and you will get some real good answers from people here who know the ropes.

In the meantime sign up with the biggest worldwide reunion registry:

http://www.isrr.net/

This one too http://registry.adoption.com/

The State should have one also but they usually exclude people born in one State and adopted in another and, of course, deceased people can't register. Many people just don't know about them (what I'm trying to say is that they are not overly successful)

But don't rely entirely on registries. My mother never registered - she just didn't know about the registries and had been told to go away when she looked for me via the agency (as too was I)

We found each other anyway, with little more than a birthdate and City. Best of luck

dory

Most people here were kind enough to offer you advice and support so I don't have much left to add in how to go about it. I just want to wish you luck. I found my real parents four years ago and it helped a lot. Hugs to you - I know what it's like to feel lost.

LaurieDB

Super advice has already been given. Using these links should prove helpful. Perhaps you were adopted in a state that will allow you your original birth certificate. If not, don't dismay.

I was adopted in California. I didn't apply for my original birth certificate until after reunion! It is highly unlikely that an adopted person will be granted access to it in California, anyway.

Plenty of reunions happen all of the time despite sealed records. Be sure to get your non-identifying information (non-id) if you already haven't. Although it won't give you names, it often will give you clues to help narrow down your search. Mine did.

Another resource is Ancestry.com. Some states have birth indexes available at Ancestry. Adopted persons are sometimes listed under their pre-adoption information. Some are listed under both their pre-adoption and post-adoption information and some just under the post-adoption information. Because of this, the indexes can end up proving useful. I was listed under my pre-adoptive information only, and was the only girl born in my county on my birth date. This provided some great clues for me, including my mother's maiden name.

Good luck to you in your search!

JennaBear

I can only echo what Possum said, she's got great advice.

Know that there are others out there who have had success in reunion despite closed records. Best of luck to you!!!

MamaKate

Dear Tash,

You've gotten some fabulous answers and I can't think of anything to add other than my sincerest wishes that you find all of the answers you are looking for and to encourage you to follow your heart. Don't let anyone tell you not to search for YOUR answers. I hope you have the very best of luck and that you find nothing but truth and love in your journey!

tigress

everyone has given you the registries to go through but i wanted to tell you there is also yahoo groups that can help, they have resources and people to help, one is theregistry and i have one mainly for nj but i can still try to help mine is njadoptees

And as a birth mother i kinda see the other side of the fence and i will tell you don't be surprised if your birth parents arent looking for you.
the yahoo groups are also a great source for support because which ever side of it your on it is never an easy journey

i wish you the best and hope you get all the answers you are looking for

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