How would I go about finding a child I gave up for adoption?

rox

Wow, it never stops surprising me on some level how many people WHO ARE NOT ADOPTED speak for adoptees and say really quickly, "Oh why don't you just leave your child alone"

If adoptees want to say that, that's their business (although even adoptees I know who spent years saying that end up wanting to search most often)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving your child your contact information. If they don't want to respond they don't have to. It's a free country.

Many adoptees feel a really strong connection with their biological families, much to the dismay of our adoption crazy nation.

Some adoptees find biological family members who are unstable and decide not to have a relationship and feel the adoption was best. Many of us find absolutely loving women who loved us and still do.

Who would want to miss out on that, except to protect the feelings of an aparent? which is fine if adoptees feel pressured to make an "either or" choice on that, love your adoptive parents OR your biological family.

But I think that's rather sad.

As an adoptee who has both, my adoptive family and biofamily and I don't like precursers to any of them...

I am hoping your little adoptee will get to meet you! good luck on your search!! There are many serach angels and such, you might try adoptioncrossroads.com

Good luck!!

Heather B

There are lots of registries you can sign up to ISRR is probably the largest one. You have to mail in your info
http://www.plumsite.com/isrr/

ALMA http://www.almasociety.org/

http://registry.adoption.com/

Which State are you in? The State usually has an Adoption Information Registry but it varies from state to state. If you let me know which state, then I can probably tell you where you can sign up

You can also join search and support groups in your state for support and guidance

Lillie

Is your child still a minor, or is she/he an adult now? Just keep in mind the implications if she/he is still a minor. I'm definitely not saying you shouldn't search; quite contrary, I think it' GREAT that you want to.

Most adoptees (who want to know their nparents) are very afraid to search themselves; we would LOVE to be the one who is "found".

Go to the sites Heather H suggested above. Or Google "adoption reunion registries" and see if you can find something in your state.

If you're not in the US or Canada, UK and Australia have open records, so maybe you could find something out that way.

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you will have a wonderful and fulfilling reunion with your child!!

Quietstorm

I would first go to the agency that the facilitated the adoption and let them know that you are interested in being reunified with your child. If you did not go through an agency then I would first contact the court in the jurisdiction that handled the termination of parental rights/adoption proccedings and tell them the same thing. Many offer reunification/search services. If you did go through an agency, I would still contact the court as well. When you cantact these places, you should have a letter ready so that it can be placed in your file(s). The letter should state that you are open to contact, reunification, etc.

I would also register online not only at websites specific to the state/county where the adoption was finalized but also with national websites like ISSR, adoption.com, adoption forums, etc.

I would also check with the state to see if they have a medical history database and if they do complete the forms.

As some have already posted, if your child is under the age of 18 your state will make you wait until the child reaches age 18 before the state/court begins the search. However, if you went through an agency some agencies will be willing to contact the adoptive parents to see if they would allow contact, especially if the child is a teenager.

Good Luck in your search. I hope that you are reunited with your child soon.

Gershom

LC you couldn't be more inaccurate. Please don't listen to him about causing turmoil in an adoptees life by searching. I believe that is his own insecurities of an adoptive parent showing through.

MAKE SURE you file a consent to release your indentifying information in the adoption file through the agency or state that you surrendered your child through. That way when he/she comes looking to the agency or via the state they will be able to recieve your information with no strings attached.

Also definately sign up with ISRR they are the worlds largest and most successful reunion registry and they are free, unlike state registries which can be in the high hundreds. People searching can't always afford these fee's so the ISRR is the way to go. They are also the most successfull, and they don't have 3rd party interferance in cases of matches. They put the two searchers directly in contact. FAMILY separated by adoption don't need 3rd parties to mediate, we are all adults and can handle it on our own.

http://www.isrr.net

good luck!

yaknowme89

Im not sure but since you gave it up for adoption, you would have to go through a lot of legal issues. Maybe going to the place that you set up the adoption. Which in most cases information may not be givin to the biological birth mother.

misscantbetold

i think it would largely depend on when you gave the baby up for adoption,as i am sure there would be different guidelines for babies adopted,say 20 years ago, compared to if this was a recent adoption. the first place to start might be the hospital you gave birth in,as they should have records of some kind.good luck.

Tsunami

you can write the social security administration in your state or the health department. you could write a letter and leave in various places saying you'd like to hear from them. you could write a note in cousinconnect.com and say you want ot hear from them. try those and see how it goes. take care.

Annie C

You have to go to the court where you gave up your rights They have files on the adoption.

jc207

I agree with LC...why now? What if your child is happy and unaware of the situation...do you want to come and flip their world upside down!??!? Dont be so selfish-AGAIN!

Why do you want to know?
How long ago was it?
What age was the child then? Now?

Please think long and hard about this decision. You can really cause emotional turmoil in the life of the child if you contact him/her without warning.

I suggest that you contact the agency or attorney that handled the adoption. They can send a message to the adoptive parents letting them know that you are looking for the child. They can decide whether they want to pass the information along to their child.

Kayla M

what is wrong with u!!! u gave up a child and now u want it back maybe it is with a family it likes i think u should have a another kid cuz u have already gave it up

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