I'm adopting a bunch of children... what should I get to prepare for each of them?

sizesmith

So sorry for your losses, and your new children's!

First of all, each child will need a bed. The baby can sleep in a bassinett until you get more used to getting up for her. Later, she'll need a crib. I'd recommend twin beds for each of the other children, with Theodore having a twin extra long if it appears that he'll be tall. That will give him the length of a queen or king bed.

I'd buy 2 sets of sheets for each bed. Ask the kids what they'd like. For instance, Andrea might like princess or Elmo. You never know, but the colors can help you keep everything organized better.

With that many kids, I find that an under-the-bed organizer for gift wrap works really good to store extra sheets, and a few clothes that might be a little too big, or other things that need to be stored. Each child should have an age appropriate toybox. Avoid footlockers or truncks so they don't bump their heads.

You'll need a well-lit area for the school age kids to study at. I find a bar area in the kitchen, away from food prep areas works great, and you can help and cook at the same time.

They'll each need about 3 pairs of pajamas, maybe more for the littlest 2. A permanent marker with their initials in it works great.

Age appropriate toys would be fantastic, and I'd try for some that has educational benefits.

Snacks low in sugar for after school time would be great. You'll need a high chair for Xavier, which can be passed down to Alesana. I'd also recommend a porta-crib to use for a bassinet, so that way you can double it for Xavier if he has nightmares, and it's great to contain a toddler out of the way while you're cooking. There are some great books which show what is age appropriate behavior. Realize also that just like foster kids, these children have been through a big trauma about losing their mom. It can make one or a group of things in their life stop growing for a little bit. For instance, Andrea might wet the bed, where she didn't before. Just realize some things might go back in time, and it's not their faults. Patience is the number one thing you'll need.

A schedule of timing and a calendar marking appointments, school events, etc, will help a lot. I'd post it on the fridge. A laundry basket (large & rectangle shaped) will help to sort laundry out for each load.

Also, even if you're going to be at home full-time with them, a day a week in daycare can help their development with other children, and you need some time to yourself just to run errands and for the various projects you'll be taking on, like grocery shopping for that many. I'd also recommend a big freezer to store food, so you won't have to make as many trips to the store.

You'll also have to have age and weight appropriate car seats and booster seats for the kids. Chances are infant for the baby, a convertible that will go into a booster for Xavier, a booster with seat belt attachement in the right place for Andrea (she might still need a convertible seat if she's smaller), and Andrew might also need a booster seat. Many police departments, welfare offices, churches, and insurance companies give them out free.

You'll need many prayers, and take help from friends if you're offered. Contact me if you need to talk. Good luck!

red elephants

Nice Joce- If adopting from foster care or like in this case after someone has passed and requested someone become the parent you can adopt in larger numbers at once. I'm hoping to adopt a sibling set of 3 in the future but there are sibling sets in foster care up to 8 that I've seen for adoption.

As for what to get... Are you having to get everything or will you have beds, etc.

If they are coming with absolutely nothing then furniture basics should be purchased before they arrive. Beds (bunk beds if space is tight), a dresser each, lots of hangers for closet space, a trunk at the end of the bed or a side table for personal items, a desk if there is room for the older kids to do school work at, etc.

Basic bathroom things like toothbrushes (preferably different colors to keep them straight), shampoos, soaps, etc.

It would be nice to have some toys on hand but not too many at first. The kids may want to pick out some on their own.

As far as decorations for the older kids areas that could be a good bonding thing. Maybe take each on a little shopping trip to buy a few things to decorate their areas.

For the younger kids you'll need plastic plates, kiddie cups, etc.

Sounds like you'll really have your hands full! Best of luck! I'm very sorry to hear about your sister.

If finances are a bit of an issues things like craigslist.com and freecycle can be big help in getting basics like furniture, clothes and even kids toys.

HappyMomAnna

Oh my goodness I am so sorry your sister has died and I can completely understand how overwhelming this must be!

There is quit a wide range of things you will be needing the first thing I would do is look at what they have now. Will you be able to transport their personal belongings? Start there and for the children over 5 they may have ideas about what they need--if it's lost or can't be relocated.

The little ones: Need all the baby and toddler things diapers and strollers and all the things a new mother would need.

Most of all these children will need Grief counseling and it will be important to help them emotionally more than provide them with Things. It is best if they can keep everything from their life and not suffer anymore losses... They are going to need time, and will NOT be acting like ordinary children for a very long time. The children over five should do the best as they will always have memories and if they are good memories they should be fine other then the Horrible Grief that will take some time to Never get over.

The baby and 2 year old are at Great Risk for developing attachment disorders so I would do some research about attachment just so that you understand how it can be so fragile for children under the age of 3... The 2 year old may do better with the fact that he is being kept with his older siblings--as he has an attachment with them so he is not being completely placed into a new life... He will likely appear to need the older sibs more then he needs you right now and I would address the way to handle that with a good therapist who understands attachment.

Generally, children in sibling groups of three or more kept together have far fewer issues then children who have no one else in a new life.

I wish you well and hope that the next year or more this transition works out. You have a great deal on your plate that doesn't have anything to do with money or materials...and everything to do with huge loss and trauma that should be the most important thing you focus on--as you know because you are also grieving as well which will in a sad way help them too.

Julia B

You need to kid proof your house. This means getting those things that go into the plugs so that the little ones can't stick things in them and electrocute themselves. You will also need to get down on all fours and see if you can get to any cords or pull anything down from the floor. Make sure that there are buffers on any sharp corners and invest in a baby gate. I would suggest also stocking up on crafts supplies & kids videos. Also you will need to stock your cupboards, fridge, and freezer. You will need some high chairs and booster seats as well. I would invest in those beds that grow with the child, all you would need to do is get a bigger mattress as the child grows and it will save you a mint! Also, you will need a well stocked first aide kit. Whatever you do don't get cute band aides or there will be all kinds of imaginary boo boos. Good luck & I am sure you will do well.

Mee!!

I'm sorry about your sister.Of course get them the necessities and then maybe talk to them all nd ask them about their interests and favourite things (colours etc). Do the rooms their favourite colour or if some have to share combine colours then buy them something they want like if one of them wants toy or game buy it for them as a homecoming gift.Good luck

Shauna

I just wanted to say I am really sorry for your loss and I think you are doing an amazing thing. I know you aren't full of it. This same thing actually happened to a boss I had, her brother passed away and left her with 3 boys under the age of 10. All the best of luck to you.

jvtech

I think everyone has answered your question really well. We adopted a 5 yr old last year, but I think your hands are much more full than mine, especially since you did not plan on this situation to happen. I just want to say that I am sorry for your loss, and my prayers are with you and the kids. You will need what everyone else said and a lot of patience. Let the older kids help you out, and try to get into a regular routine as soon as possible. This will especially help the younger ones feel more secure sooner. Someone else mentioned a calender...I get the huge office ones for your desk and hang it on the wall for all to see. This way you can keep up with appointments and the younger ones can look at it and see fun events to come. They also learn about the days of the week and months at the same time. You are going to have your hands full so another suggestion is to let the older kids do the bedtime stories at night. This gives you time to clean up or whatever you need to do, and it helps the others practice reading. Good luck!!!

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

you're so full of it.

get them a barbie dream house.

Joce - Steelâ™‚ is due in July!

Who, besides some underground black market, would actually allow you to adopt 6 children at once?

Definately don't believe you, but I hope you can give them the basics like food, clothing and a roof over their heads. A bed, would be fabulous.

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