I'm thinking about adopting a child at 21.?

holiday_latte

It's really refreshing to hear someone wanting to make another child's world better! You sound awesome.
Here is the truth though. It will be harder to adopt because you are younger. They are going to want to talk to your family and what your parents say really matters, so try and get them on board :) They'll want to know that you are pretty stable and can devote a lot of time to the child and that you have a pretty good support system.
I've had a friend who was 22 and wanted to adopt as well. In the end it didn't work out, but she became a foster parent. Most communities are in great need of foster parents, and in many occassions the child lives with you for a while. This would almost be a stepping stone to build up credentials for a later adoption. Also by being a foster parent you would be helping children out more than you know :) You also receive some valuable training. Good luck!!! I hope it all works out :)

Missy H

I don't understand the rush, espically as you don't live in your own place or are in a relationship.

HappyMomAnna

There are some very wonderful ways that you can gain the experience and help children.... By learning more about some of the children in care waiting for adoptive parents and being involved in the ways that help the children you will not only learn more about some of the issues you may face as a parent and help many children at the same time.

If your state uses CASA (Court Appointed State Advocates) you could be trained to understand the "system" and support a child on their journy through it. In some states a CASA is assigned to a child right WHEN they enter the Foster Care System and the CASA is there to be sure the state is following the laws and that the child's best interest is upheld.

Our children had a CASA it was an older--retired couple who were there at the court hearings, and interacted with the Foster Family... The CASA's made sure their birth mother was offered all the possible services to regain custody, and that the case plan was handled correctly.

The CASA was also there during our Transition with the children and for the year after they were placed and we waited to finalize.

The CASA's were there at the Committee hearing and had input about which of the three families being considered--they found the Best for our children...

There is also a great need for families after they have adopted to find qualified and understanding Respite providers... I would die to have someone willing and trained to come to our house Just ONE NIGHT so my husband and I might be able to have a Date.... I have spent endless time looking for a person willing to learn about the issues and support us in helping our child Heal from her experience in Foster Care...

We would be happy if we could find a "Big-Sister" or "Big-Brother" who was able to spend time with a child and help them be their best... to care and believe that she is a great value. Someone besides just her mother and father whom she has no real reason to believe or trust.

I have a 22 year old daughter. She has her Psychology BS and is in her Masters Program... She was here living in our home when we adopted her little sister and brother. While we were in the process she was excited and supportive.

The children were placed during her first year of college. My daughter did NOT expect the real day-to-day life that was true with adding some little children. She is educated and was very involved until the children became REAL....

My older daughter ended up deciding to Move to a different college and live out of the house... She is a very compassionate and educated physchology student and yet--she is overwhelmed with the reality that our children have brought to the family.....

I would advise that you put some time into working with the children and families... Build your life and oneday the right time will be there and you will know that you have the resources to be the best parent you can be......

mango mama

I think adoption (or having any baby) is much harder than you think - especially if you are going at it alone. Also if your parents are so young, they probably still work and won't be able to help you as much as you might find that you need. And as difficult as in-laws can be, you won't have them to help you either.

I would really encourage you to think long and hard about this... I am not sure how adoption works exactly, but you probably will not get "approved" if you don't have a house or make enough money. Adoption is a great idea when you have a home and financial stability... and a partner. Who will take care of the child when you work? Can you afford daycare? My suggestion: find a family member's child and offer to take care of them for a week or even a weekend and see how you feel after that!

michaellandonsmommy

Well, this to me sounds odd. And I am sure the adoption agencies will think the same. Your a 21 year old male, looking to adopt a girl. Something seems not right about that.
You have years to find the right girl, get married, and have children or adopt children.

Kasja

Well first off from what i understand you need to be over the age of 24 in order to adopt a child. Second it would probably be a good idea that you have a good steady job as well as a place and possibly a husband befor even thinking about adopting any children. It is hard, very hard especially if you were to do this alone. Trust me. Like you when i was 19-20 years old i so badly wanted a baby, i would do anything. I was married at 18, had a good job, a house and we were both physically, financially as well a emotionally ready to take on a baby so we decided to start trying for one. Well suprisingly we got pregnant fairly quickly and she is now 7 months old. In the time frame from when she was first born up until now, in the beginning things were going smoothly, of course we dealt with our daughter being severely colic and crying non stop day and night, literally but i didn't mind much at least i had my baby girl. She was "colicky" up until she was 3 months old. Well when my daughter turned 4 months old my husband was in a terrible car accident crushing his whole rib cage, puncturing and collapsing both lungs having to be on life suuport as well as breaking both legs, not being able to walk. Well i had started working part time so i could be home with my daughter to take care of her befor all this happened. My husband had a great job, making great money but when the accident happened he was no longer able to work and he couldn't take care of our daughter while i worked because of the pain. I would take my daughter to work everyday with me, then i would go home to take care of both my husband and our daughter. We were struggling badly, very broke. I couldn't manage all the bills on my own. We lost our house and are now living in a 2 bedroom apartment, we lost our cars and now have to drive a beat up p.o.s Subaru Station Wagon( 80's model) my husband gets 600 a month for social security and greatfully we were able to get food stamps and put my daughter on wic. Things happen in the blink of an eye and like i said it is very hard. We had a great life and within a split second it was all turned upside down. Think befor making drastic decisions such as adopting a child, it changes your life and you will never know just how much until you do have a child of your own. Remember it's not just being a mommy and it's not just cute and cuddly times all the time. It's hard and very expensive. Do what is best!

average jane

A single, 21 year old male, wants to adopt a girl? Hopefully you will NOT be approved. Trust me, you'd be in over head.

Sweetness

Its a lengthy and expensive process. Also many adoption places aren't so excited about adopting kids to a single home. So it may not be as quick or easy as you are hoping. You can start looking into it, but don't be discouraged if you aren't able to given your current situation.

dirtslinger6

i assuming by your picture your a guy why do you want to adopt a child do you have the means think about what you are doing it takes a lot of money to raise a child no more going with your friends that child comes first before anything else don't it.

KathyS

It's doubtful this would happen. Adoption is pretty expensive and single 21 year old men won't be seen as qualified as a married and stable couple with a home.

Santa's Lil' Helper

Am I the only one who thinks this sounds "Creepy"???

Twenty-one year old male who wants to adopt a girl by himself?

I am sorry but I can't imagine any agency would allow you to adopt until your older.

allairegirl

Adoption is HUGE... and if you have not met the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it limits your ability for someone to get to know you aside from being a single mother/father.

I started doing foster care when I was 21... taking in newborns and caring for them for up to 3 mos.

I LOVED it! It was hard to let them go, but totally worth it... knowing I gave them a great home and a loving start in life until they moved into their adoptive homes.

I am 25 now, and just stopped doing foster care because I met the man who I want to marry... It has been SO valuable to have the flexibilty in dating him and getting to spend time traveling together.

I think it's great that you have a heart for raising kids... I don't think you should let your age stop you, but I wouldn't commit to adoption at this age either.

Asylum

To be completely honest, I would wait until you have a place of your own. You don't need to be in a relationship to properly raise a child, but it helps. raising a kid is more work than people would imagine.

I am currently 16 and pregnant, and my parents arent too thrilled. but there's nothing they can really do about it except support me or ignore it. since you're an adult, it's all your decision.

just please, think about what kind of life you would be giving the child.

Lorna P

why don't you wait till you meet the right guy, settle down and have kids that way?
you're young anyway you got ages!

possum1

grow up----------- its not a toy!!!!!!!

parkin 4 life

gust get a girl friend

Nite Owl Mom

In our state if you adopt a child, through the state foster system it isn't real expensive, just the cost of the lawyer and if you aren't rich they have a program. The foster/adopt system here you need to go through the classes the state has for becoming a foster parent. It would be a good idea because of your age to take some early childhood and parenting classes at a community college where you live. You will learn a lot through foster parenting classes. They will tell you about other adoption agencies too. There are 7000 children (babies-teens) in Washington State who need to be adopted. I think you have a very good chance at being able to adopt. They do an extensive investigation of all Foster/Adopt families and you will have to open your life up for that and they will contact your family/friend references for letter of recommendation too. Good luck and its good you want to help save a life and give a home to sad broken hearted kids.
DD.

ps. I just thought of something you can do too is be a respite provider for foster families, kinda like being a grandparent or Aunt/Uncle. It gives the foster family a break to go out on their anniversary etc so they don't burn out. Sometimes its for a day, weekend or week. They can't leave the foster children just anyone, they have to have the Social Workers approval and its best if its a trained respite provider who understands the foster child and what they have been through. Most good Foster families don't like to let anyone babysit, when there foster child is finally feeling safe and loved, and isn't acting out anymore. If they use someone who doesn't understand and treats/ or disiplines in the wrong way can push things back again.

I knew a lady who wanted to adopt but wasn't sure what age or if she wanted a boy or a girl, so she decided to do respite for awhile. She told all of us in the foster/adopt classes and everyone there that liked her got her number so they could use her for respite. When we introduced our foster son to see her the first time we had her come to dinner at our house, and she went Easter egg hunting with us another time. So when we took him to her house the first time he wasn't afraid. Then we we're nervous leaving him too, just like a new baby, he was 7 though and we went to dinner and came back. So it was a nice visit and when we went to pick him up he wasn't ready to leave so that was good.

One more thing I remember there is a church here in our state who helps with funding of the adoption maybe you can find something like that in your state too.

~p0meranianpuppiesarethebest~

21-I think it is a little too early to adopt a child. Why don't you wait for another 2 years or so. Adopting a child means a big thing. It takes a lot of money and your time. You have to fill out paper work, etc.

Q-Where were you going to adopt the child from?

My BFF's real parents are Chinese but she is adopted by Italian parents.

servicedogstar

work out a budget think of every thing that you would need and what to do with her/him well you are at work . then if you can do it go for it thears notheing wrong with being a parent young if you can aford it
I would even think of adoping an older child they realy neeed homes they can have issues though but they are in school during the day

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: