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Adoptionissadnsick
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....another forever family through the miracle of adoption....... |
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sammich_08
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maybe you should have thought long and hard about that before you decided to adopt, just like a birth parent, you take the consequences with your actions. If you gave birth would you give him back to the hospital and say i don't want him? |
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PhilM
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Please tell me you are kidding. This is a bad, bad joke, right?
In all honesty, I hope you can return him. You are clearly going to damage this child severely unless you can pull it together.
And even then, I cannot imagine what damage you might have already done. |
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the Vampire Claudia
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He's not a puppy you can just pass along to someone else. How cruel. Poor little thing is probably already screwed up and you are just going to make it worse.
You cannot just "return him". He is legally YOUR child now, which means you must consult an agency or a lawyer or even the state to have him placed for adoption AGAIN. I hope they never consider your for so much as a cat after you place him into the system again. You do not deserve to take care of a living thing. Not working out.....you gotta be kidding. It's not working out because you have some elevated expectation of this child and he has problems which you feel do not fit into your "perfect" little child. Send this poor boy packing and then do not attempt to adopt ever again. You will just screw them up if things do not go YOUR way. |
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Isabel A
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Being a parent is nothing like you thought it would be.
Many people feel that way. Even those who do not adopt feel that way and they don't stick their kids into the system. That is not an option for most of us.
Get some help.
Get some counseling.
Work it out. |
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Diva In New York
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Thats pathetic . What do you think it will do to this childs mind to know someone who is his adopted mother and is suppose to love him unconditionally wants to return him ?
You should like he is a pair of shoes you bought at Kmart.
Step up to the plate and be the mother you said you would be. Motherhood is hard at times for all of us.
Give it time ... the child is adjusting and testing you to see if you really love him and your proving to him that you dont. |
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Nick P
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this looks fake as hell.
if it is at all true you are a douche. |
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Lindsey [Shabang]
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it's not a like a defective christmas gift that you can just return to the store if you have the receipt. he's a child. maybe you should have thought about it more before you did it.
wow, you give adoptive parents a bad name. |
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Crucio
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May you should have thought about not being able to handle it before you adopted. I don’t know whether this boy has some issues or if you just cant handle being a parent. Either way you need to grow up you choice to adopt and become a parent, you choose this boy. Of course with your attitude he’s probably better off with someone else anyways. Its just sad who knows how long this little boy has been waiting to be adopted and he ends up with you. |
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Elizabeth
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Sounds like a troll, but if not you are a disgusting person.
Next time adopt a pet rock. |
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Heather B
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Wow, is this question for real. Is this a sick joke?
Parenting is the hardest job on the planet and we all have bad days but we don't all go dropping our responsibilities the moment things start to get tough
I'm crying buckets for this innocent young human being. He deserves so much better |
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queenofhearts023
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Did you keep the receipt? |
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Mary G
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Ok have to say this, wpeople like you make me physically ill. I lost my daughter to adoption and would do anything to be able to turn back the clock and say no to adoption. I also have three other children I am raising. Let me ask you this, Do you think I could just give my children back? I have a son with Asperger Syndrome (autism) do you think I could give him back because he isn't all I thought he would be, or all I thought he should be? No I can't give him back, nor would I if I could! You wanted to be this boys parent, you chose him, guess what it is a life long commitment, one which obviously you were not ready to make. You are in the midst of what if called a "Failed Adoption" do you realize that the damage you are going to do to this child is almost as bad as him losing his natural mother to begin with?
*Deep breathe*
Yes, you can "return" your son, all it takes is putting him in foster care and voluntarily severing your parental rights. I believe that you should do all you can to find his natural family and return him to their care if at all possible. Even if it were a relative and not the childs mother or father. Kinship care is the best choice when the parents are unable to parent. I suggest you hire an attorney and find the boys natural family and do all you can to return him to the best place he could be. With a member of his family capable of raising him and loving him. |
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mom of many
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I am sure the child placed with you for a few months or a year before the adoption was totally final....and you didn't know then? |
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sunny
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But, Mary, didn't you 'choose' him? Wasn't it 'meant' to be?
Why don't you see if his MOTHER wants him back?! Or his extended family? Hopefully, they've had enough time to come to their senses by now.
That is how to redeeem yourself from this mess you've created. Do the right thing.
Get that kid back home. Don't let him go to another ADOPTIVE parent! |
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DrkBreizzy
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What do u mean 'its nothing like you thought it would be'
What is happening.. Is he misbehaving alot.. This is testing you and stuff if he is... This is not only a big adjustment for you... its a big adjustment for him as well.
It does take time to get used to... if you haven't been a parent.. then adopted a 6 year old. It takes time for you.. and takes time for him to blend your family together.
Make it fun for both of you... take him places.,.... have fun indoor picnic. ... I mean this might help the transition a bit more. He is at a niceage to be doing soo much fun stuff with. Go to a zoo... have a dance party...
Turn up the music in the house and dance around...
I mean... this will help with any kind of stress, and might help your two bond.
Parenting isnt all fun and games tho..
THere is work involved in parenting... I don't know how long he has been in the system... or what he has went through with his natural parents..
YOu need to have thought about this before you adopted him.
If you give him back... it will be soo tramatic...
It will really make him feel that he is unlovable. |
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i want a hulahoop
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i can't believe you would even think of returning him. For starters he is adopted now which means he is your child. Step up be a parent. I am adopted and i am sure this little boy is feeling like you dont want him. Just think of all the hard times he has been through and you just want to take him back, just because you can't get used to him. When you signed the papers adopting him you should have thought everything through. By signing those papers you promised to love him and take care of him. I don't even know if you realize the heartache and problems this little boy would go through. because believe me he realizes that you don't want him and all he wants is to be loved. Put yourself in his shoes. be there for him to talk to and be there for him to give a hug too. He needs you get a backbone and realize that you made a commitment and promise that you need to keep. |
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darcymc
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Please people why are you responding to this troll?
some one who just opened this account some one who has only asked this question twice
its a troll ignore it maybe it will crawl back under its bridge
....shoo little troll go away shoo away little troll |
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rach2305 - Preggers wi #2
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yea if u kept the reciept??!!
RU CRAZY??? THIS IS A CHILD UR TALKING ABOUT NOT A TOY!!! U DONT DESERVE A CHILD |
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mlassi65
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I hope you kept the receipt. |
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Vanessa M
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Please remember it takes a child a long time to get used to this kind of new situation.
I know everyone will comment that you should have thought about it etc and that is true.But it is OK to admit that it is not going as you planned.Parenting in real life is never "as you thought it would be".There are days I think I cant tolerate my own kids anymore but it always gets better.
The child is 6.Six can be a difficult age.Please give this child time to adjust.It is probably harder for him then it is for you. |
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ladylady4470
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That is very sad you are giving up on him. You have to remember these kids have been through hell and, they need someone to love them. Once they understand you are there for ever no matter what they do they change. They can be the best thing in your life. I adopted a 6 year old 7 years ago. It took us a year to get things in order. Please don't give up on him. You will regret it and, you will be one more person in his life that gave up on him......... |
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rain2day
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It sounds like this is beyond just having a bad day or a difficult phase so PLEASE PLEASE contact your case worker, minister, or a family member ASAP and let them know how you are feeling.
Remember you care enough to reach out for help here so please continue to care and tell someone right away what is going on.
Everyone, lets take this poster seriously - just in case it is - and think of the child. |
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adkwolf
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Try couseling for you and the child. At six, he may have baggage. You shouldn't have adopted him if you weren't repared for that. He needs someone who can handle him through good and bad. Try again and be prepared for good days and bad days. |
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Bether Bee
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I am a human services major and i have studied for years about kids in adoption and foster care systems. I totally understand that there are kids out there that have severe anger issues or emotional trauma that you didnt sign up for. There is a reason he was not with his biological family and he is 6 years old- thats a long time to feel unwanted- that doesn't just go away. I believe that most adoption agencies or state services will take him if you truly feel that you can not take care of him, especially if your not wanting him could cause more problems with him mentally. I would call your social worker right away (as you should have been assigned one) and talk to them honestly about what you are feeling because they may be able to get you into a support group or, if you feel it necessary, they should be able to help you find other living arrangements for him.
With that being said, adopting a child is not something that should be taken lightly. It is a serious, life long commitment, even more serious than marriage. I understand you can not turn back time and unadopt him, but i would seriously consider maybe going to therapy to help you through this and help you understand why you made such a big step without fully thinking it through. Also, I think it goes without saying that you should probably not consider adoption or foster care in the future.
I hope this helps- best of luck and God Bless! |
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dakota_allen42
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i would say you should go to dfs and talk to them, i feel it would be better for the boy, if maybe dfs did find someone else to adopt him!!! i am sure they would!! or at least put him in foster care!!! i don't mean to sound harsh, but a lot of these kids has a rough life, and i am sure he deserves a decent loving life. |
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IDoToo
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It takes lots of love and lots of work. Go to a counselor, that should help with things. He obviously had a rough life before he met you. Make his life better, let him know that you will always be there for him and he shoudl come around soon. It may take up to a year or so but these things take time. Good luck and congratulations on your new addition!!!! |
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angel in disguize
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you cant be serious? what a pathetic thing to do to a child who at 6yrs old already can understand what it feels like to be unwanted and rejected. my god! im still in disbelief that someone would be cruel enough to do that!
My eldest is 5yo and his father comes and goes from his life as he feels. i watch my boy cry his eyes out and ask why his dad doesnt want him, it breaks my heart to know he feels like this. and thats a 5yo! it breaks my heart now to see how heartless a person can be to a defensless child without trying some sort of councilling or family bonding first!
Children are a gift, they bring joy and teach us so many things that we would never have learned otherwise. guess the lesson you have learned is that you are not fit to be a parent!
i hope for that dear little boys sake that you can, in your words 'return him', as he doesnt deserve this in his life. i also hope that you are never able to adopt again or have children naturally, you dont deserve them.
I pray this little boy isnt too screwed up by your selfishness!
omg im gunna ramble now cause im so worked up!! |
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Edward R
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I was adopted when i was 6 years old. my adopted parents thought about giving me up. but they stuck with me. yeah you can terminate the adoption but it probably wouldn't be the best thing for the kid. |
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pepsi
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Being and adoptive parent, my advice to you is to "stand" give it another go, it may be uncomfortable right now but it will get better. You decided to adopt that child for so many different reasons, don't forget them. One of the most precious things we can give is a family to a child that doesn't have one. All families go through hard times and regrets, but it will be devastating to the child to be returned back into the system, we learned that in our MAPP classes. It will make it hard for them to trust and harder for the next set of parents who are willing to give a child a happy home. Pray about it and see how things turn out, good luck! |
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mariz
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I think u need an instant help from the social worker or from the agency that helped u before..try to call them I'm sure they will help u..it's hard for the adoptive parents and the child to get along..but there is always a way in everything that is impossible to do.. |
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