I am adoped how can i find my parents.?

LaurieDB

You are right in that it's harder when you are under 18. Most of the resources are for people 18 and older. I'll give you the resources I know for your future reference. Even when you're 18, the laws are different in every state. What is available to you depends on the state in which you were adopted. This link http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?page_id=39 will help explain that. Just click on the state where you were adopted and you will find out about the identifying and non-identifying information available to you. In some states, you can get a copy of your original birth certificate. It will have your birth parents' names on it.

In all states, you are entitled to receive non-identifying information (non-id.) Although it doesn't give full names, it often gives some good clues.

When you are 18, make sure to sign up with the International Soundex Reunion Registry at http://isrr.net.

In the meantime, I know that like most of us you have concerns about hurting your adoptive parents' feelings. Most of us have struggled with feeling we might. Ultimately, this is about you finding out about your own past and origins. It has nothing to do with you love for your parents who adopted you. Maybe at some point you can explain that to them. Either way, it's your past that you want to know, and that's understandable.

I'm not sure about resources available for people under 18. I know that even most search angels won't search unless the adopted person is over 18. Perhaps another answerer will have more information on that realm.

Mei-Ling

I can't help you in terms of registries (PhilM and LaurieDB can probably help you out a lot more) because I didn't use one to find my original parents.

But what I want to say is that search is about you, right? Not your adoptive parents.

Of course you don't want to hurt them, but you also don't want to feel "burdened" about hurting them. Sit down and explain to them that you want to search and that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with any negative reflections on how they have raised you. It's not their fault and it's not your fault. It's just a natural curiousity.

You can do this on your own. I actually insist that you at least tell them you want to search - even IF you want to do this on your own. That way they won't feel like you're keeping secrets on them. But just make sure they understand that this is about you and that even though you love them, you want to do this for YOU. I strongly recommend you "clear the air" about that particular issue first before you do anything else.

I'm also not sure if you can perform a search since you're of legal age. I mean, maybe by using Facebook or signing up with some registries, it might be possible, but you aren't supposed to search until you're 18. *rolls her eyes* Not that that's stopped some teens from searching!

Good luck with your search.

Seabreeze

If you live in the UK then unfortunately you do have to wait until your at least 16, but I also feel that having been through this myself, I will give you my experience. I was 31 when I traced my birth mother down (I didn't want to hurt my adopted parents either, but I needed to know my medical background for my son's sake). I rang the adoption agency and also wrote to apply for my original birth certificate before my adoption and name change, I also spoke to my Dad, who was amazingly supportive. It turned out that the Social Worker who was dealing with my case actually had a call from the registry office where I had been born, saying that my birth Mother was looking for me. The Social Worker arranged for us to meet at my Birth Mothers request and the Social Worker was there to mediate. For me the relationship didn't work and after 5 months I asked the Social Worker to help me explain that I couldn't be what my mother wanted.

So what I'm saying is, by all means look for your birth mother, but do it with help, and trust your adopted parents, they may feel a tad upset, but they will also know that at some point you would want to know your real parents and they may be able to give you any knowledge of your birth parents they may have which may help you, and talk to the adoption agency, but you may have to be patient a little longer and wait

I really hope that it is a happy ending for you and that not only you have two wonderful adopted parents, but you have a good friendship with your birth parents..but you need to be aware too that the happy ever after may not happen, that your birth parents don't want you to find them etc, and that is to much for you to have to endure on your own.

I wish you all the best x

Indian bachelor

That's a tough question. Are they from a different country? Or were they brought up and had you here? You should probably ask your adopted parents, because sooner or later they'll find out that you want to know who they are. This is a situation that every adopted parent prepares for before going through with the process. So don't be scared to that.

Kassy

As an adoptive parent, I'd be more hurt if you didn't feel like you could talk to me. Besides, we adoptive parents often have papers put away somewhere safe with information that could help with a search.

Jen

Do ask them... they should not be hurt or offended. They have had 15 years to prepare for this conversation and it should not threaten or upset them. They ARE your parents, these other people produced you but didn't raise you.

Just be sure to do it lovingly... not I need to meet my REAL parents, but rather, I'd like to understand that part of my life, too.

LuvGHDSx

Just speak to your adopted parents and ask for photos etc

try in a local libery

good luck x

mrs Rodriguez

Look on your birth record and go to google and look up there names

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