I am adopted.. why am i not allowed to contact my birthmother until i am 18?

MamaKate

Hi, Not-a-loser,

There is no law that says you can't contact your other mother before you are 18. (Unless there is a current restraining order.) The American constitution protects FREE ASSOCIATION. Technically, your other mom is a legal stranger and there is no law that prevents you from associating with her.

If you APs are amicable to the idea, they can support you and help you in finding her before you are 18. (I hope that if you ask them, they are supportive.)

Some resources for support and assistance when the time comes:
http://www.isrr.net/
http://registry.adoption.com/
http://www.adultadoptees.org/
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/
http://www.zabasearch.com/

Good luck and I hope that you find her and any answers/relationships you are looking for as quickly and with as positive an outcome as is possible.

kitta

In some states, the original birth certificate with your natural mother's name on it will be available to you at age 18.

At age 18 you are considered an adult. So, the '18" rule means that your adoptive parents no longer have parental rights over you. That means they cannot tell you that you cannot associate with your natural mother, if you and she can find each other.

If your adoptive parents know who your natural parents are, they might tell you who they are. Then again, they might not tell you.Possibly, they have had an agreement to send pictures and letters to her while you have been growing up.

If your adoptive parents and natural parents have always known each other, they may have an agreement to keep the information from you, but that would have been something they decided themselves. You could ask them why they made this decision.

durdenslabs

You can contact your birthmother before you are 18 if your adoptive parents agree to help you. I don't see why they wouldn't unless your mother 1. requested that you not contact her (some do...they just know it's better for you) 2. was/is under the influence of drugs/alcohol and don't think you should see her that way 3. she was abusive to you or 4. the state says noone but you can try to re-establish contact and you must be 18.

Kate

Until you reached the age of 18 you are considered a minor. A minor by law is not old enough to make such a decision, yes I know it is a pain.

At least for you it is 18, here in BC, Canada it is 19.

Semper Fi

That is usually how it works, your parents along with your birth parents sign an agreement, that you can contact your birth parents when you turn 18 if you wish but not before. Its a bunch of legal stuff involved.

ladyren

Because everyone agreed to that who was involved... you birth mother and your adopted parents.

And really? Your parents are the ones who are raising you, hon. Your birth mother gave you up because she was not prepared to parent.

In your shoes, worship the ground that adoptive mother walks on. She did you a huge favor.

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