I am being adopted?????????

I am a 14 (will be 15 in 3 weeks) year old girl and I have been in foster care since I was 11 because my mum could not take care of me. I have been in 7 home and I was finally put up for adoption 1 year ago. 6 months ago I had a meeting with my social worker who told me there was a family that wants to adopt me. I have not meet them but I am told there is a mum,dad and a 10 year old girl. Well yesterday I was told the adoption has been approved and I will be going to live with them in 2 weeks. Needless to say I am very nerves. I hope they are nice and like me. My question is has anyone been through this? What can I expect? I know I am really lucky to be adopted at my age and I really want a family to love me but I also need them to understand that I need 2 family's not a new family.

I think I should add that for 2 months it is a trial to make sure we get on they wouldn't make me stay some where without meeting and getting to know them.

myst1998

Hi there,

Wow! I would be nervous too given you have never met these people before. I am curious as to which country this is happening in? Ta.

All the best!

Popular

I think first you should be allowed to meet your would be family...

Super HORSE lover!!!

Hello my dear,

I am fourteen years old as well. I am under foster care at a family that loves me. Even though I feel safe with them I am still confused. They are trying to adopt me-but facing many problems.

I am in nerves as well. I get really angry easily and sometime i get jealous of my friends for having ordinary families.

Adoption is a kind of hard thing for the adoptees and might as well traumatize some kids and teens.

My advise is to just wait and see about your new family. Let it come to you and you will be able to cope with it much better,

I know how it hurts to being under foster care as well as trying to get adopted. All those visits at the social workers make you feel so bad.

It's like you have written my story.

Best of luck for the new changes,

Super Horse Lover!

Sophie

I have never been in your shoes, but I'd like to comment.

You are really smart by knowing your needs. I think when you meet your new family, you could ask to talk to the parents alone and let them know that you are very nervous (I'm sure they are too) and tell them what you said here... that you have two families now. And both are equally important to you. Let them know that you feel lucky to have a family love you (even though they probably feel lucky to have you join their family as well). You can tell them that because this is all new to you, you will need help managing your life with two families.

I think they'll respect your honesty. Take care.

Hannah B

At your age and witht he fact you were with your birth family for so long your adoptive family would not have been approved unless they understood the importance of maintaining contact with your birth family. They will have been going through the process of getting approved to be adopters for a while and will have had every avenue investigated by social workers to check they are nice people who will care for you well. They will be just as nervous as you. You sound like a nice kid so as long as you don't do anything really bad like set fire to their house or something it will be fine. Remember nobody espects you to be perfectly behaved or to settle in straight away; just be yourself and have fun getting to know your new family. It may be hard on their ten-year-old girl to accept an older sibling so at first don't boss her around or anything; be like a new friend.

Sandra C

If this family is adopting you it is because they feel they have love for you. I myself am in the process of adopting two brothers. My husband and I just feel they belong to us, as if they were our own. I hope for you and your adoptive parents that you are all ready. It may be a big step but most people like me would do anything to have a chance to love a child. I wish you so much love and luck.

sizesmith

Dear Rosie:
I'm an adoptive parent to my son, and am getting ready to adopt through the foster system again.

As an AP, it is exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time for us too. The best thing you can do is to communicate what fears, likes, dislikes, etc, that you have. You might write them a letter now, and ask your social worker to forward it. The more you communicate from you, and the more they communicate to you what each other expects, the better. They're going to want to know what your favorite colors are (they might be decorating a room for you, and as a mom, I'd much rather have my child like what colors it's done in), and by opening up and talking, it can make life easier for all of you, and open the lines of communication. Good luck!

chandra_snyl

This is a risk again, since you have been always shunting from place to place. Your social worker should convince you in the first place that this family really does want you for your sake and will not again reject you ar for some reason let go of you again, as by repeated change of places in your life, will not give you a good foundation. This time you have to go and see the place up and meet up all the people residing with you at the home chosen for you by your social worker. From your side too you have to be patient but not accept anything which is uncomfortable for you!

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