I am considering adopting an infant girl, should I?

I am a 22 yr old female. I took foster parent classes from July to September and I am currently waiting on my foster parent liscense. It's gonna take 60 to 90 days. I only wanna do foster care because child care is so expensive for an infant. My mother has a daycare but she doesn't take children until they are 12 months old. There is nothing wrong with me as fas as I know I can have children on my own. I want a baby girl and have always wanted a child since I can remember but I don't want to go through labor pains and I don't feel that just because you went through labor pains that makes you a mother. I feel that if you can give a child a good loving home its ok. I want to take in an infant girl and have her as a foster child for the first year to help me with expenses and then adopt once she turns 12 months and can attend my mothers daycare. Am I moving too fast or is this ok. I have lots of family support. I've only had one person question me. I just want some advice.

prnigel

Forgive me for saying so, but some of your reasoning for this seems a bit convoluted and, well, selfish. You want to foster her for the first year for the financial aid? Regardless of whatever else you say, that comes across as wrong at best, greedy at worst. I have no problem with a healthy person, capable of potential childbirth, fostering/adopting a child, but be sure you're doing it for ALL the right reasons.
Secondly, while fostering/adopting ANY child is a wonderful thing, infants and toddlers have a far easier time finding families, in large part due to the fact that they ARE infants. Please, consider the possiblitiy of fostering/adopting an older child. If anything, they need you even more than an infant does because they've been "left" longer without someone to love and care for them. This has always been a major peeve with me concerning those who spout off against abortion (I've told many people my opinion that abortion should be left alone until we have no need of a foster care system), because they only talk about "the babies" and never say anything about the older children whose hearts and souls are shrivelling away from lack of love and attention. It's what I'd like to do if I ever get financially secure enough to offer childcare. I hope you make the right decisions in this situation. Good Luck and Take Care.

mom of many

sounds good, but there is no guarentee you can adopt her once she's 12 months. it'll probably take longer. And there is no guarentee you'll be offered a girl, let alone an infant girl.

Heather B

Can't be bothered to push eh?

Believe me, going through labor pains and giving birth qualifies you as a mother! geez

Why adopt a child and then dump them in daycare anyway, whats the point unless you are going to actually raise the child yourself. You think labor pains don't make a mother but I don't feel that just because you are there at bedtime and weekends makes you much of a mother either

Blech

ragdolltb

The problem I see with this plan is that fosters come and go. Infants are the easiest place, and if you wait til she's a year, there's a good chance someone else will get her before you decide to make it permanent. And as someone else said, in a different way, it's wrong to deny her a definatively permanent home via adoption because you want money from the government. If you have as much support as you say, that should be enough to get you by. And having a child turn a year old doesn't magically make her inexpensive. Babies and children of all age are expensive. You'll still have to get diapers, food, clothes and toys. That doesn't go away for years.

Michael P

Do it! Apopting a child is the BEST thing I ever did! You will not regret it! Some child waits to love you!!!

Lise

Hi, I am the person that asked the question I am just using one of myother yahoo id's to make a comment that I couldn't fit in my story because I was out of text. People seem to think that I want money from the government and that's why I want to do foster care first but that's not it. Have you been to Wal-Mart lately? Have you seen the price of diapers and infamil? Have you called any daycares to see the price of childcare for an infant? Well, where I live its about $250 a week. Now once the child turns 12 months she can attend my mother's daycare for $50 a week because its a grandchild. That's a extra $800 dollars a month that can be used on the child and not spent on daycare. Plus infants need clothes every month. As children get older they still grow but they grow so rapid the first year and the first year is very expensive. I don't need the money. Plus in the area I am in they are begging people to adopt or foster a child. If you tell the state that you are intending on adopting they will give you a child that you can adopt and they will allow you the option to adopt the child if they child is already in your home verses taking the child out of your home to give them to someone else. But, I do appreciate your comments and honesty I just think you should know the whole story!

Smartypants.

Just do it!

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