I am going to be a mother but my mom wants me to give up the baby for adoption?

Heather B

Wait until the Baby is Born before deciding anything.

Once the infant adoption industry gets hold of you, they won't let you go until they have your baby. Stay away from those people, they'll befriend you, gain your trust and then drop you once they have the 'merchandise'

I'm hoping your Mom may feel differently once she comes face to face with her grandchild for the first time. I hope she stands by you.

ETA I'll bet your inbox is stuffed full of people begging for your baby - ignore them. This is about you, not their needs.

mary z

Only you can answer that question..BTW the father has to be ok with signing away his rights also..I would not be able to hold a baby after birth and give it up..Even if it is an "open" adoption you would still wonder..If you feel that you can give your baby a good stable home than keep her..Young and poor does not make you a bad mother.

MSS

I think it is your decision.... But talk your mom into it... hopefully she will understand you and support you.

Aelous Natura

Forget about that, and think "What do I want to do?"

lolly poop

my sister had a baby at 17 she had to grow up v fast but at the end of the day she now happilly married and has another baby on the way...........adoption is v hard once u hold that baby u wil never wanna let it go ....... u really need to stop and thin don listen to anyone just follow ur heart........everything happens for a reason.... and having a baby is a big step but its not the end of the world....trust me on that........alot of girls ur age do it and its hard but being a mother but its ur right and ur mother can not take that away from u so tell ur mother that u will make up ur own mind on this...

mammakayla

u do what u feel is right.....becoming a mother thse things u need to know come naturally....they really do...u are young but not too young....u do what ur hearty tells u to do.....who cares about the father....mothers raise babies without there daddys all the time....i would never let my mother tell me what to do expecaully when it comes down to a baby.....

xlinzx88x

You might. I imagine that you aren't very far along at all. I wouldn't make any rash decisions, when I was pregnant (at 19) it didn't seem real. It was all too easy to disconnect myself from the situation because I didn't see the baby. However; my son is almost four months old now, the night he was born I couldn't take my eyes off of him. It was weird, all of a sudden I was a mother to this fragile innocent little life and though it was hard and still is, I wouldn't give it up for the world. You don't have to be older to have a child. My son's own pediatrician said to me "Is he your only child? You're bouncing him on your hip and talking to him like you have two more at home" mothering comes naturally. I think you'll regret it if you decide to give him to another family. The situation you're in is temporary, but if you give your son or daughter away, thats permanent. Your mom will warm up to the idea, probably when you're later on in your pregnancy. The dad does have rights too, you'd have to get his permission to give away his baby. If you must give up your child, go to his family, see if they would like to adopt. Even if you're bitter with him you have to keep in mind that the baby is half his dna (even if it feels like you're doing all the work) and your baby has family on his side too who will love them just as much as you. Anyway, I'm young and I have a baby and I can only tell you that even though the first month is hard, I wouldn't give him up for the world.

Precious to Jesus

You need to decide what's right for you and be at peace with the decision. Do you know of any relatives who are willing to be foster parents to your child until you're ready to take him or her back?

Lamont

You're the only one who can make the decision that YOU will have to live with. I know a lot of girls who had babies at a young age, kept the baby and did well. It's not easy, but giving a baby up for adoption would be very difficult and would be the bravest thing I could ever imagine. Don't do anything you may regret. That's the key here. Why not contact a crisis pregnancy center and talk to someone? It might feel better to have someone help you sort everything out who isn't a relative.

ivaraeâ™¥

i had a baby when i was 17. it was the hardest thing in the world, and i had a great family support system. babies are expensive, like really expensive. they take all your time and don't think mom family will babysit cause they just want to prove that it's your baby and you have to take care of it. it is really really hard. please think a lot on it. my son is now 9, i love him more than anything, but i wish i had waited. i'm only 26 but i feel 36. it's really hard.

Zeena

Do what you feel is best.
NOBODY can force you or make that choice for you.

I had my son when I was 16.Sure it was difficult, parents of any age find it difficult.It's parenthood.

Once you see that little baby's face, you will not want to give it up.

And like someone said, if you give the baby up, get the father's consent otherwise you might have a legal problem on your hands.

Amy J

You should do what you want to do and you may not be able to decide that until you hold your baby in your arms for the first time. There are so many resources out there to help you raise your baby. Your mom needs to support you, not pressure you to give into adoption. You may be thinking you are young, don't know how to be a good parent let me assure you, parenting doesnt come natural. It's something you need help with and practice with. No parent no matter how smart or rich is perfect. The most important thing is that your child knows you love him or her. Imagine yourself in 5 years holding your sons hand as he gets on that school bus, you'll love every minute of it, trust me you do'nt want to give it up for adoption you will find it in your heart to love him more than you thought you could love anyone. Keep him or her, if you put him up for adoption he may be abused, neglected, I know you can do it. Look in your phone book for a local pregnancy crisis hotline or look at these websites...please don't make a decision until birth!

Smitty

Your mother and no one else could make that decision for you, I was 17 when I had my daughter and didn't have a dime to my name or a place to live and God saw me through. It's your choice!

Zuko

What ever you do, don't listen to ivarae. She's been trying to solicit babies from pregnant women on the adoption boards. Just a quick heads up.

The first thing you need to think about is whether or not you'll ever regret relinquishing your child. If you answer 'I don't know, maybe...' then keep your kid. Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I personally think that you should do what you feel in your heart is right. Will your mother help you out, even if you decide to keep it?

If she will, then I think you should keep your child. There are SO MANY programs out there for single mothers now days! And there are SO MANY single mothers going to college and getting careers and STILL being EXCELLENT parents.

You have it in you to do the same! I know it's terrifying, but you do have the capability of being an amazing mother.

Quick ETA: There are a lot of people out there who will try to convince you that because you're young and poor you're a bad person for keeping your child.

Don't listen to them.

We all work and pay taxes... a percentage of those taxes go towards programs for single mothers and their children. Those programs are open TO YOU.

Having money doesn't automatically make you a good mother either. So much more goes into parenting a child. Love, tolerance, patience, and addressing your child's emotional needs are far more important than being the richest family on the block.

PATTY W

I believe you should think of the good of the baby first. True love is doing what's best for the baby. If you give the baby up for adoption, you may regret it, but you will also know that the baby will be loved and taken care of. On the other hand, a friend of my daughter's had a baby at 17 and she did a great job of raising him. He's now in his second year of college and he's a fine young man. But she also had a lot of support from the father's family. this is a situation where you can't think of yourself. There's a lot of people out there who would love and take care of your baby. This is going to be the toughest decision of your life. God bless you.

kerbear1969

You have to do what is right for you and your child. Nobody can tell you what to do. It has to be in your heart. Pray about it and you will be shown what to do. Irregardless of the choice you make its going to be a tough road but you will make it! I promise you.
Good luck to you. Any time you need to chat just email me.

AdoptiveMama

You need to think about what is best for your baby. If you feel that at age 17 you are capable of caring and providing for a baby fulltime, then I believe that you have your answer. Diapers, feeding, toys, safety gear, carseats, clothing, doctor visits, medications, and all that comes along with the responsiblities are things that you need to look over and make sure you can provide all of these.

If, and only if, YOU come to the conclusion that YOU feel you are not able to provide and care for this child then adoption is a wonderful choice. My husband and I have adopted two children and are so thankful for them. There are many wonderful agencies out there that can help you through it step by step. Family to Family Adoptions INC (fam2fam.org) has free living available for expectant mothers, they offer counseling and many other things to help you come to the decision of either parenting or adoption.

Please make sure that you think of the baby first, but make sure it is you that makes the decision. Do take what family and friends have to say into consideration, but at the end of the day it is you final say!

Good luck!

â™¥ laula & miracle 1 due 2 dec.â™¥

its ur choice hunni.

no1 can answer 4 u, be prepared to have this child alone, (i know the father will still be with u when he gets out prob) but just in case....

even though u r 17 u r old enough 2 understand the world and how it works. if u dont feel u can bring ur baby up how it should be bought up then dont keep it. but from ur q i think u really do wanna keep the baby xxx

ks24

I say that you do what you want it is your body that is doing it and you are going to take care of the baby

Knowitall

I am sure this is a tough decision. Ill bet your mother has you and the babyâ€™s best interests in mind.

At 17 are you on your own? Have you finished school, are you already financially stable? Can you provide a home for the child? Love is nice but you canâ€™t eat it and it doesnâ€™t help pay the bills.

The burden of this child, financially, will likely fall on your family because you are not able to cover it all. Your mother has almost raised her kids. She should be done.

Its time to stop thinking about your feelings and think about everyone elseâ€™s including your child.

naughty girl

ask yourself what you want to do, I was pregnant with twin girls when I was 16, I was going to graduate early the next year and was on an academic scholarship to go to college, full ride. I had so many dreams, and things I wanted to do. I know it sounds selfish, but In no way did I regret my decision. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I'm married now and have a baby, and a career and love my life and if I would of kept my girls I honestly think it would of been very very difficult. On welfare, dead end job, still living with my mom. Not graduating, or going to college. It's a difficult decision, but you and only you can make that decision. Good Luck! I wish you the best.

anongirl

having a baby can take up a lot of your time and your money. What do you want to do? Look at the realities, like can you afford to have a baby? Look at the price of buying diapers, clothes, cribs. Can you count on the father to help raise your baby? Are you prepared to do it on your own? Think what's best for the child, not what someone else wants you to do. While it's ultimately your choice, listen to the reasons why your mother wants you to give the baby up for adoption and why you might want to keep it.

kelannde

Can you afford to raise a baby on your own?

Do you have medical insurance, a job, a car, a place to live?

Your parents are neither morally or financially obligated to help you raise a child. Instead of thinking of what's best for you - as some here have advised - it's time for to think about what will be best for this child. Your mother has made it clear that she is not interested in raising this child for you. Adoption is a perfectly acceptable option.

Adoption will give the child a better chance at a happy, normal life - rather than being raised either in abject poverty, or by grandparents who object to having to raise it.

Your life, this child's life, and your parents life all hang in the balance of your decision.

Tinkerbell

It's not easy honey. You have to think of the baby. You need to care for the baby, financially support it, raise it. You also need to think about what's best for YOU - are you still at school? Do you work? How are you going to manage? Do you have support? A baby needs a stable and loving family to rear it. Don't think that you are 'giving away' a baby - think that you are offering it a better life than you can give him/her. Try and go for an open adoption, where you can stay in contact with the adoptive family and the child. When he/she is old enough he/she can come and find you and will know who you are. Many adoptive parents feel like they have been given a miracle as there are many loving families waiting for a baby to raise. At 17 you have your life ahead of you. If you can give your baby everything he/she needs then fine. If not, then you must do the best thing for yourself and your baby. My daughter was also 17 and pregnant and we decided that adoption was the best option - we stay in touch all the time with the adoptive family who send us pictures and we can see the baby whenever we want. Not easy but necessary, and to give the baby a good home. Good luck honey.

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