I found my bio brother...?
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I found my bio brother...?
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So today I was bored and on myspace. I typed my brother's name. I've done this before and nothing....well today a profile popped up (he has a very unusual name). I looked at the profile and he lives in right town, is the right age and the right zodiac sign.
I looked at his picture and there is no way he isn't my brother. I see pieces of myself, my birth mom and my sister in him.
I sent him an e mail and a friend request. I told him who I was and told him that if he didn't want contact I'd respect that but I would really like to get to know him.
He hasn't checked his myspace since Christmas day....So now how to I stand waiting to hear from him?
Also what do I do if he dosen't want to have any contact???
Have any of you had a person you were looking for not want contact and how do you deal with that???? Additional Details ETA: He is 31. Our mom ran off and left him when he was 6 years old, but I know his dad knew about me and encouraged our mom to look for me while they were married, so chances are he knows about me. I doubt he knows about our two younger sisters. In the e mail I sent, I told him that he also has 2 little sisters.
I didn't mention our bio mom. I am not sure how he feels about her since she abandoned him when he was a kid. If/when he makes contact, I will tell him I know where she is and if he wants her number I'll give it to him, but he he dosen't want contact with her, I won't tell her I found him.
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Linny G
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Do you know if your mom told him about you? It may be a real shocker for him. How old is her?
eta- Well, good for you. I always worry a bit if someone tries to contact a minor. Ive been in reunion with my sibs since October, and my only regret is that I did not find them sooner.
Hopefully, he has his myspace settings set up so that any requests or messages go to his email.
Good luck! |
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IDK!!
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I contacted my sister when I was 26 and she was 21. We met at my house, we met my dad sister and our families. I went to see her at college and we did dinner a few times.
The last time we were to meet, she ignored my calls and texts. I sat at Panera Bread for hours and went to get a pedicure near by. I haven't heard anything since. (almost a year).
Last month my dad had a heart attack and I figured she's at least call to see how he was, but nothing. She got her "fill", and eased her curiosities and just went away.
Of course I'm hurt. I am close with my oldest sister and can't even imaging life without her. I spent 19 year looking for her and wondering if she was okay. I turned out that she lives less than 5 min. from my home. I probably saw her around town and never knew it. |
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Jess
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Get to know him, he is BLOOD, and if you don't, you will regret it. |
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rorabellanessie
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that sounds hard. me and my twin sister are apart alot. we don't want to be, but we have to. he will answer when he's ready. good luck |
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⚡Energy⚡
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Growing up knowing you have close relatives you've never met messes with your mind, so don't be surprised at any reaction you get from extreme affection to a modest interest to nothing to anger or any or all of those!?
When I met my younger half-sister, who was raised by my birth mother while I had been adopted away earlier, she didn't seem impressed and over the years we've communicated via email and personal websites but because of my low self-esteem I couldn't bring myself to meet with her for a camping trip she organized and I've said so many stupid things to her I just could never face her in real life, so this year, when she moved from 1000 miles away to less than 100 I decided to cut off all communication because I couldn't bear it if she wanted to meet or didn't want to me, I can't deal with either.
She's related how when she was younger she'd imagine who I was or that I might come back and it seemed like a sad fantasy for someone who's suffering with child abuse and loneliness to imagine this very real person (me) will return to fix everything, but who's also to blame for everything that's wrong. |
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black_manta@sbcglobal.net
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I'm adopted and just recently found my father. It didn't go very well. Even though his wife knew about me she was still not very receptive. Things like this tend to really disrupt a person's life. Just give it some time for him to get used to the idea. |
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sizesmith
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It's just been a few days, so I wouldn't worry yet. Guys don't check e-mails and myspace as much as women-LOL.
Women have more maternal urges to reach out in adoption than men I think. My fiance didn't even mention he had a brother who'd been placed until we drove by his house one day while on vacation. It was another 2 years (4-5 total from finding out about him) before they connected. Now, they're like best friends, talk constantly, and his wife and I joke saying they must have been identical twins separated.
It's sad, but you're a stranger, and he might not realize how excited you are. Perhaps someone's told him that you might be wanting to meet him to get money or something. I'd say wait another month, then write him again, maybe look up his address and telephone number, and then write him a letter, or another e-mail, and explain to him that you've missed out on a lot of years, and that it's not his, nor your faults, and that you only want the opportunity to meet him, that you're not after anything, but if it turned into a brother/sister relationship, that you'd be thrilled. Offer to meet him in a safe, neutral place for a quiet dinner. Offer to buy him dinner. By doing this, it makes it easier on him, and maybe, he's just in shock. Have patience. You've waited this long, don't scare him off. Good luck. |
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smiley :-)
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well as long as u make sure he has ur details to contact you then there is nothing u can do.
u cant pressure him into anything and as u saud,u understand if he does not want to contact you.
so all u can do is wait ..
xoxo |
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