I found out a month ago that i was pregnat at 14?

Possum

You need to talk to an adult you can trust.
You need to hear about ALL of your options.
You need to decide if you want to terminate the pregnancy - or go through to full term.
Then - you need to decide if you are going to keep your baby - or give your baby away.
Putting your young body through an entire pregnancy - then to give your child away - is something you may never get over.
Your child may never get over it either.
You DO NOT need to think about any of those people out there that want YOUR baby. This is about YOU right now.
If they can't have children - that's THEIR problem - not YOURS.
They don't care about caring for you - they just want your child.
(kinda selfish - that they want you to go through 9 months of pregnancy - just to take your child)
It's time to get strong - and get ready to talk to people that will talk to you about your options.
I wish you all the best.

tish

hi heidi... guess what? you're not the first (nor the last) young women to find herself pregnant. i know it's tough and seems like the world is caving in, but trust me...it's not.

i would strongly advise you to speak to an adult that you trust. this can be a teacher, aunt, cousin, neighbor or someone who can advocate for you when you tell your parents.

also, i'd also advise you to get information regarding ALL of your choices. contrary to what many believe, this is your pregnancy and ONLY YOU have the right to make the choice about how to deal with it. many who wish to give you advise about adoption have never been in your situation. also, many young mums have raised children (myself included) and did a great job. and...many women have chosen abortion and are not curled up under the bed, contemplating suicide. in other words, you have options, and you need to speak to someone ASAP!!!

good luck...

Lucy

Yes tell your mum, or auntie, or big sis. This is not the kind of thing to be decided between the pair of you. You need a woman right now.

Heather

OK, if you are 14 then YES I think you should tell you Mum.

She might be mad at first but will later appreciate your honesty. And you will probably need her to help you figure out all your options and which suits you best.

Time to put your big girl panties on!

Good Luck

Carlos My True Love

You need to have that baby you got pregnant now you pay the responsability babies arnt just a life you throw around and kill.

Lexi

You defiantly need to tell your mom because you need to decide if an abortion is the right option. This is going to be very emotional for you and you need your mom for support! I wish you the best of luck and be strong what ever you decide to do!

crimson_tears_of_the_goddess

I am so sorry for the situation you're in hun.

Don't let him make the choice for you on what to do with this pregnancy. YES talk to your mother as soon as possbile and before you do anything.

There are options. I personally am adopted. I know how that is. I have also had an abortion (it was due to a rape) and I have had 2 miscarriages.

If you need to talk or want to know more, please email me. I am willing to help out however I can.

craving_jinx

Talking to an adult you trust is the best way to handle this. As you're a minor, you will need parental or legal guardian consent to go through with any medical procedure legally.

Secondly, ignore the people saying abortion is wrong. It is your body, your choice. If you won't be able to give that future baby a good life and provide for it, then abortion is one option for you. Keep in mind that it's not as simple as it seems. There will be emotional scars to deal with later in life. Few people walk away from that experience untouched.

If you decide to not have an abortion, but still don't want to/aren't able to keep it, adoption is another option.

Your third option is to keep it. It's a huge decision, as are your other options but this is the one that will affect your life the most. You are 14 and you still have the rest of your education to consider, your social life, your family and the rest of your life to consider.

My recommendation would to be talk to someone you trust, not another teenager, but an adult, and make your decision. After that, see your doctor and choose a birth control method as a back up to condoms.

Good luck sweetie.

Megan

Yes, you need to tell your Mom simply because you need to make an educated and informed decision before you do anything hastily. Not saying there will be, but there could be some health risks involved and something could happen as a result, and you would need them to know just in case. I think it would be a good idea to talk to them about it. It's not going to be easy, but know all of your options before you do something you might regret later. Good luck to you.

akcrymes

well first of all is this what you want remember this is your body not his...i mean i know it is his child too but you will have a huge affect because this is your body not his...second if you are close to them and you dont like to keep secrets then i say yeah why not tell them....maybe you will have a change of heart...you dont want to do something you are going to regret in the future...think about it

Laurel J

If you're not sure how you want to handle this, please tell someone you trust (your mom, his mom, a school counselor, whoever) and explore ALL your options so you can make the best choice for you.

BTW abortion is not "killing your baby." You're awfully young to put your body through something like giving birth.

scweetci_87bc

Please, please, please, talk to your mother. This is a huge decision that will effect the rest of your life.

I'm not sure where you live, but most clinics will require parental consent for you because your under 16. In the united states your parents must be informed of all medical proceedures unless you are over 16 and sign a waiver. If they don't require this, go somewhere else because they are not good clinics.

As a child of someone in a similar position, I would really hope that you choose to give the baby up for adoption - but it is your life. So it is up to you. But please make an informed decision, talk to your mom.

elaeblue

You have to tell them - you can't get an abortion without your Mom's signature. Sorry. Go to your Mother and tell her.

~Carrie~ has 5

Yes, tell your mom. This is a huge deal to you now, but when your older, you will regret not having confided in your mom. Trust me, as a mom, she loves you enough to want to know.

Mindi

Okay just take a deep breath. I have been in a very similar situation only mine was with twins! Don't let the boy push you into something you do not want to do. If you do decide you want an abortion and you are close to your parents at all you should tell them. I have had friends that have taken that route and it is a long emotional rollercoaster. It is very nice to have family by your side (friends too but family especially) plus then you don't have the stress of trying to hide it from them. Can I make a suggestion though?! Just go to an adoption agency (Somewhere with free couselors I know LDS family services does it and so do several others and you don't have to be their religion) They will show you pro's and con's of single parenting, marriage, adoption, abortion. It is just nice to get an outsiders opinion as they can point out many things you wouldn't think of.
Another wonderful thing to do is make a pro-con list of your own for each of those choices. (Ex:pro of adoption/keeping- you give your child life, Con of keeping- it can get expensive and be very hard) Things like that, but are totally your own thoughts. Don't let others influence you. I even had my parents make their own seperate ones and after I worked on mine for a week I saw things from their point of view too. It doesn't mean you have to agree with what they say but they are older and might see some things in a different light! Good luck girl and hang in there! You can e-mail me if you need.

Mom of two

Please talk to your mom and his mom. These are big decisions to make on your own and you have a lot of options, not just abortion. It may seem like the "easy" way out, but as the mother of two adopted boys, I am thankful to my boys first mother every day for giving them life. I look at my beautiful, smart, loving boys and can't imagine that they might have been aborted because she knew she couldn't raise them...I am so lucky that she loved them enough to give them life, even knowing how hard it would be for her not to be the one raising them. What ever you decide...make sure it is your decision, not anyone else's

snowwillow20

Tell your mom, at your age, you have no idea how having an abortion is going to affect you in your later life. Some women never get over having an abortion or putting a child up for adoption.

hmc

YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR MOM!!! DONT KILL YOUR BABY THERE ARE SO MANY LOVING PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT WOULD GIVE YOUR BABY A LOVING HOME!!

baby gurl

you should tell her. i don't think you should get an abortion its not the baby's fault you got pregnant. you should have it and keep it or give it up for adoption not kill it

debbie

i say tell ya mum but also remember it all comes down to u, whether u keep it, dont have it or have it and have someone adopt it, just remember how young u are and should u choose to not have the baby make sure u have the support around u, it will be hard but it will be harder to have a baby at 14 that u will have to raise.

Ashred13

You should talk to someone, anyone that you trust. If that is your mom, then I would talk to your mom. I would try to find an unbiased person to talk to as well. Everyone has their opinions on what would be best for you to do: abortion, adoption, keeping the baby. You need someone who will talk to you about all of these options and the consequences of each option in an unbiased manner.

WARNING: HERE IS MY BIAS

Personally, I am in favor of adoption. I know how hard a pregnancy can be. I have a 5 month-old son. You can become really attached to that person growing inside of you. There is a reason our body releases hormones to make us attached to our offspring; it ensures that we will take care of it.

However, my brother and his wife were unable to have children and recently were able to adopt. They love their little girl more than anything else in the world. They have wanted kids for such a long time. They understand how lucky they are to be parents. If you choose adoption, then you can pick out the couple who will take care of the baby. You can find someone who would love and take care of your baby like you would if you were in a better situation.

That is my opinion. But you must choose for yourself. If you are a religious person, then I would rely heavily on meditation, prayer, counseling, or whatever you do to find clarification.

Tam

Please tell your mother. You are still a child and this is too big a decision for you to handle alone. There are options but each much be researched and thought out. I have personally had a child (now 20) that was unplanned, an adopted daughter from Eastern Europe and an IVF miracle. I wouldn't have traded any of them and am glad I chose to keep my unplanned pregnancy. I know that most people who adopt cherish, love and dote on their adopted children. They appreciate what an honor and privilege it is to be a parent. I think you and your mother should examine all of your options together. She is older and wiser. My best wishes to you and your family. I hope you can resolve your situation in some way and still enjoy what is left of your adolescence.

fastpawsbengals

don't have an abortion.. Talk to an adult. You have options.. Best of luck

shellee a

Make sure that it is a legitimate place because if not you could suffer serious complications. If it is a legitimate place then it depends on your morals to tell you mom or not. Fear of reprocussion will keep you from telling her........

Louise

Yes...I strongly urge you to speak to your mom. Abortion is a major decision that will affect the rest of your life. It is not something you should take lightly. I was adopted personally and now 24 years later me and my husband desperately want a child and I am unable to get pregnant. There are so many alternatives to having an abortion and I used my situation as an example that there are people out there that would love to have a child. You was woman enough to lay down and make that child, now you have to be woman enough to make the right decision. I understand you are 14 and scared and confused, but please speak to your mother before you do anything. That is what mothers are there for!! Good luck & if you need to speak privately...feel free to email me at puddin9903@yahoo.com

Brown Pit named Blue

You need to tell your mom. You are not the only person this has happened too. See what your mom says first and don't let him kill your baby.

I'm Sipmly Me!!

you need to talk to some adult i know you may be scared to tell your parents but you have to let them know i hope this teaches you a valuble lesson you are 14 years old which is to young to be a party getting drunk anyways! have you ever watched the movie "Knocked Up" well if not you should watch it because it is similar to your situations but anyways hope all is well!

Ali

Whatever you do, don't get an abortion. It is wrong. Just think about it. If your mom chose to abort you, you wouldn't even be here today. When you choose abortion, you are taking and inocent little life away. Another option could be adoption. that is wonderful. I was adopted. you could also parent the child. Think about when you first meet you child. you'll instantly fall in love, even if you didn't want it in the first place. Choose life. Its so much better.

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